The Cambridge’s Canada tour is even more lackluster than the India/Bhutan tour which is why I’m grouping Days 2 & 3 together, it’s hardly worth putting energy into it when the total combined fucks given by Prince William and Kate Middleton can’t even be seen by the naked eye. The only thing that seems remotely funny about the lack of effort the touring royals are putting into this for the crowds is the statement Kensington Palace Tweeted on Saturday.
I know, right? I’m keeping that one on the Desktop, I think it will deliver laughs for years to come.
On Sunday, Prince William and Kate Middleton undertook a series of events in Vancouver which were overshadowed by Prince William’s admission he hadn’t bothered to read the notes given to him along with epic hideousness of Kate’s £4,000 ($5,200 in USD) Alexander McQueen dress that was so ugly, it left an aftertaste. This thing had a late 60s bathroom wallpaper pattern, an early 70s young miss bodice cut, an eyelet lace ruffle, and two tiers of tragic that looked like they wanted to be the bottom of Xena Warrior Princess’ leathers.
Amazingly, Kate had no recorded flashes, although in Twitter pics, there was various puckering from the bodice being too tight and at one point, her skirt started creeping up in the back.
Kate paired that f.u. to fashion with a £640 red Miu Miu bag and red Hobbs court shoes.
Photo ops for the Cambridges on Monday included visits to Sheway which helps mothers and pregnant women struggling with addiction and other issues, Immigration Services Society of B.C. where they met with Syrian refugees, a reception for young leaders in arts, sports and business, and the Kitsilano Coastguard Station where they met with emergency responders and social workers. The day netted an impressive haul of gifts for the Cambridges.
Richard Palmer revealed that at Sheway, Prince William missed the connection between the charity and his mother’s work with Women’s Reproductive Maternity Service in Glasgow, admitting he hadn’t gotten through his notes yet. Richard Palmer also wrote an article about William’s not being prepared for the event.
The events with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his wife, Sophie, just further highlighted how unprepared Prince William and Kate are not only as public figures, but as adults in general.
Sophie Grégoire Trudeau has the presence of a woman confidant and secure with her role as a public figure and there’s just something so warm an welcoming about Justin Trudeau. And I’m not just saying that because he’s got great hair.
While crowds have been turning up for these events, not all were royal supporters. Some gatherers dragged along a guillotine and dressed up as henchman, bringing cosplay to their Cambridge criticism which just highlights how much I’m half-assing it here.
Rather hardcore for Canada. Up until Sunday, this had been known as the rowdiest protest ever in the Great White North:
On Monday, Prince William and Kate were welcomed by Heiltsuk First Nation in Bella Bella, the Cambridges received more gifts, then Prince William delivered a speech to mark the inclusion of the Great Bear Rainforest in the Queen’s Commonwealth Canopy. Wearing a Holland Holland jacket, Zara jeggings, her Chilvers boots and Pippa Small earrings, Kate was in a mood.
Here are the Faces of Kate from all of Monday’s engagements (click on it for a larger version).
To me it looked like Kate’s desire to be anywhere but the rain forest dipped even further when William whispered something in her ear during the Bella Bella welcome ceremony. From the wounded expression on her face, I imagine it was something along the lines of “Jeggings suck!” or “So, Angelina’s single and you’re tedious…” Maybe Kate was plotting a nip slip for this tour and William told her absolutely nothing above the waist, those were harder to try to explain to Granny.
Because of the rain which weirdly fell at the rain forest, a couple of the events were canceled but Emily Andrews Tweeted some pics of what they missed.
On Twitter, @Peppersmint noted the canceled events had still found their way in the Court Circular though. Maybe the Cambridges did other fun holiday stuff on their own so they figured close enough.
More than one member of the press in attendance Tweeted the existential joke, “What am I doing here?”
Unfortunately, Kate rarely utters even a quotable sound-bite, preferring to contribute as little as possible to these events so clothing has to be the focus. It’s been five years, maybe we should let Google know her profession isn’t Philanthropist, it’s Mostly-Retired Long-Waisted Catalogue Model.
Later at a reception at the Government House, Kate still looked a bit glassy-eyed in her red Preen Finella dress.
Kate clutched Jenny Packham this go-round and there was a second appearance by the Maple Leaf brooch. So again, Kate doesn’t seem to have packed any tour bling beyond a host country brooch, rewearing instead her £130.00 Soru Jewellry earrings, I guess because either she couldn’t find a pair of matching cigarette butts or George wouldn’t let her borrow the glitter glue.
The events had the looming spectre of a snub by one of the chiefs who opted out of the Black Rod ceremony in protest of what he felt was a charade due to the treatment of his people by the Canadian government. There’s a great article about it by Richard Palmer in Express.
Today Prince William and Kate will have four photo op events, one of which will involve wine tasting so there will be more opportunities to alienate the public with his uttered gaffes and her stony silence.