It’s been 53 day since Kate Middleton last carried out an official engagement. In the 28 days since the Duchess of Cambridge was spotted in pubic, there have been two Yeti sightings, the latest at the ski resort Formigal, making something that doesn’t exist a higher profile figure than an official representative of the United Kingdom and the British Royal Family. Her first official engagement of the year is today, celebrating the 75th Anniversary of the RAF Air Cadets.
Meanwhile Kate not being seen on holiday with the Middletons in Mustique is so out of character, it’s become newsworthy, leading to all sorts of theories as to why the duchess who never turns down a get-away has skipped this latest opportunity to slather on the Coppertone. The most popular theory is that Kate is pregnant again and concerned about the Zika virus spreading through the Caribbean. The Zika virus is transmitted by mosquitos and poses the risk of microcephaly in babies if their mother was infected while pregnant or a month prior to conception. A trip to Mustique requires changing planes in Barbados where there have been three confirmed cases. While it’s not unusual for Kate to be MIA for long periods of time and in the past she’s skipped working in January altogether (in 2014, her first official engagement was on February 12th), her missing a Caribbean holiday is rather shocking.
Hello! has suggested the reason for Kate skipping Mustique this year has to do with Charlotte’s age and Prince William’s job at East Anglian Air Ambulence, forgetting they were the magazine that secured the exclusive photos of Kate taking six-month-old George to Mustique with the Middletons when Prince William was supposedly too busy to go because of the ten week agriculture course he was taking at Cambridge but still somehow made time to go boar-hunting in Spain with ex Jecca Craig and then take a romantic get-away with Kate to the Maldives before the course wrapped.
Despite the endless complaints about invasion of privacy by the press, the Cambridges have been able to sneak away for holidays under the radar in the past, so it’s possible Kate and William have been able to get in some frolicking in the surf or some time on the slopes. But if Kate really did skip the Middleton Mustique holiday and has been around, the Cambridge’s Communications Secretary, Jason Knauf, has really dropped the ball. This would have been a perfect time to have Kate papped doing one of those “secret charity visits” or engaging in one of those things on which she’s reportedly so “keen” because skipping a holiday and being shown working would have helped rehab Kate’s image in the minds of those who still believe she isn’t a lost cause. Maybe there just aren’t enough left to make the ruse worth the effort.
Sometimes what someone doesn’t do can be more interesting than what they do and that certainly seems to be the case with Kate. And let’s face it, not a lot is expected of royals to begin with.
At the age of eight-months-old, Princess Charlotte topped The Tatler List of The People Who Really Matter. Now an older and wiser nine-months-old, Charlotte has had a Marc Jacobs lipstick named after her, currently sold exclusively at Harrods. According to Catherine Gore, Vice President and General Manager of Marc Jacobs Beauty, the £24 lipstick was “inspired by the deepest saturated pink tones of an English rose”.
Unlike Butter London’s “No More Waity, Katie”, the sheer goopy glittery grayish lavender nail polish issued to commemorate the royal wedding that wound up primarily being used as pedicure polish by only the most loyal of Royalists, Marc Jacobs Beauty has a solid track record for consistently high quality products. “Charlotte” is a gorgeous hue that will last longer on the lips than “No More Waity, Katie” lasted on fingertips.
Le Marc Lip Crème lipsticks are made without parabens, sulfates or phthalates, are creamy as the name suggests, richly pigmented with some pretty impressive staying power (not the ten hours it boasts, but Marc Jacobs wouldn’t be the first man to exaggerate how long he can go).
“Charlotte” was specially created by Marc Jacobs with the little princess’ coloring in mind. While there aren’t many pictures of Charlotte to go by, it looks like she’s got similar coloring to her Mum. The product photo of the lipstick looks like it has blue undertones and would look best compliment skin with cool tones (if you’re not sure if you have warm or cool tones, check your wrist, if your veins are blue, you’re cool, if your veins are green, you’re warm). Le Marc Lip Crème lipsticks are very opaque, the color in the tube is very close to what it will look like on your lips. The color looks like a more muted and demure version of MAC’s “Rebel” lipstick which is one of my personal favorites and I would probably order this £24 lipstick if it weren’t for the £25 international shipping fee. I object to shipping costs that are greater than the product price on principal.
Each of Le Marc Lip Crème Lipsticks are cosmetic homages to iconic women who have inspired Marc Jacobs in some way: “So Sofia” was named after Sofia Coppola, “Je T’aime” after actress/singer Jane Birkin, “Oh Miley!” after the wrecking ball hammer-licking singer and “Rei of Light” after fellow fashion designer Rei Kawakubo.
At 9-months-old, Charlotte is already a designer’s muse and is Tatler’s reigning queen bee which is rather surreal considering Charlotte has said nothing of inspiration because she can’t yet talk, nor has she achieved anything of great significance on her own merits because she’s still developing her motor skills and can’t yet walk. Charlotte may grow up to have a powerful voice and change the world in positively profound ways but until she’s capable of reading the magazines proclaiming her more important than anyone else in the world and old enough to wear the makeup named in her honor, such accolades seem premature. Being elevated to such lofty heights simply for being royal sends a bad message to both Charlotte and her mother, who in five years since becoming a duchess and future queen consort has publicly uttered very few words and done very little, earning Kate the distinction of being the “UK’s Laziest Royal”. With the future of the British monarchy in question, likely to end not with a bang but with a whinger, Charlotte will need to aspire to more than simply being royal.