Royals Lost and Lola Found

Prince Harry, Prince William, Prince George and Kate Middleton remain MIA.  Too bad that show Without a Trace was canceled, they were super good about finding people.  Prince William was last seen yesterday on a flight to Dallas/Fort Worth, Prince Harry was last spotted in Memphis on Saturday (it’s being reported a “source” confirms they have both left Tennessee, though, but no further word on their travel plans), and Kate Middleton and Prince George have been missing since Australia.

Um, should we be putting their pictures on milk cartons?  It’s a little spooky one of the most photographed families in the world has vanished.  Right now there’s no word if the two Princes have even left the United States, so why the veil of secrecy?  Have the Windsors secretly joined forces with the Kardashians and soon E! will be announcing a new spin-off called Kourtney, Khloe, Kate, Kwilliam and Kharry Take Miami?

If Prince William travelled to Memphis from the rumored secret Middleton Switzerland Ski Trip, it turns out I’m one of the few who finds that shocking.  Nothing seems to phase more seasoned royal watchers when it comes to Princes William and Harry and Kate Middleton taking off without leaving a note on the fridge.

We might not be able to find them, but I was scanning a list of recent search engine terms that others have used to find my blog and thought I’d list just a few (with some commentary) to show why the modern monarchy needs a lot more than Kate’s hair and Prince George’s grumpy faces for an enduring positive public image.

LoveLolaHeart recent search engine terms:

redheartbulletpoint waity katie (the #1 search engine term!)

redheartbulletpoint duchess doolittle

redheartbulletpoint waity katie lazy

redheartbulletpoint lazy katie

redheartbulletpoint lazy kate middleton (huh, there seems to be a trend emerging)

redheartbulletpoint kate middleton waity katie (geez, you wait around a decade for a guy to marry you and no one lets you forget it)

redheartbulletpoint lazy royals

redheartbulletpoint love lola kate middleton (thanks to my supporters and #1 fan for making me searchable by name. Hi, temi!)

redheartbulletpoint laziest royal (that’s an accomplishment, Kate, you’re #1! Yay?)

redheartbulletpoint duke & duchess doolittle (a well-matched couple)

redheartbulletpoint prince william and kate are lazy (yeah, I noticed that, too)

redheartbulletpoint lazy duo royals (Lazy Duo Royals sounds like the absolute lamest superhero team, sort of like that one Wonder Twin who can just turn into some form of water)

redheartbulletpoint love lola heart prince william (awww, and I got top billing on those searches, too!)

redheartbulletpoint kate middleton is lazy

redheartbulletpoint kate middleton bottomless photos

redheartbulletpoint kate middleton wind

redheartbulletpoint kate middleton vagina

redheartbulletpoint kate middleton crotch shots

redheartbulletpoint catherine middleton is lazy (well, at least some people are finally calling her Catherine)

redheartbulletpoint kate middleton pussy red dress (somewhere my Mom is just beaming with pride)

redheartbulletpoint kate middleton nude (I probably disappointed some people looking for the balcony pics)

redheartbulletpoint lazy duchess of cambridge (on the bright side, they’re addressing her by her royal title)

redheartbulletpoint kate middleton vapid (at least they didn’t call her lazy)

redheartbulletpoint ayers rock kate grabs her crotch

redheartbulletpoint kate middleton is a lazy slut

redheartbulletpoint kate duchess manipulative

redheartbulletpoint prince william looks bored with kate and george (to be fair, lots of us are bored with kate)

Congratulations, British Royal Family!  It seems the future Queen Consort is regarded as a lazy vapid promiscuous manipulative flasher whose only accomplishment has been waiting around a decade for a man to marry her.  Producing an heir didn’t even show up under the search engine terms used to find this blog.  And Prince William is right there next to her on the lazy scale.  This perception issue is easily mended by having them leave the Palace and resorts every now and then and make some contributions to society.  With all the royal advisors on staff whose salaries are footed by taxpayers, why hasn’t anyone made this a priority yet?


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12 thoughts on “Royals Lost and Lola Found”

  1. Kourtney, Khloe, Kate, Kwilliam and Kharry Take Miami – ROFL!!!!!!!

    Love your posts!

  2. It doesn’t actually say he took a flight back to the UK, though. The last he was seen was in the Dallas/Fort Worth Admiral’s Club. The guess in the article that the reason Prince William flew coach was to keep security costs down is an incorrect one, Scotland Yard guards have to fly first class or business class in order to be alert. It’s why Princess Eugenie and Princess Beatrice ultimately lost their security details.

  3. I found your site from the “KateMiddletonReview” website. You both are great. I remember first locating Review by looking up “lazy Kate Middleton.” It really comes up on the search engines!
    Anyway, you are hilarious. I’ll be checking in to both sites often!

    1. You are the sweetest! They don’t call KateMiddletonReview and me Awesome and Snark for nothing! 🙂 She’s Awesome! I’m a huge fan of hers. In the Kate Classroom, she’s the brains and I’m the class clown.

  4. BTW: I must be super behind on the times. How is it that ANY member of the RF (up to about #10 or #15 in line) can go without security detail? If I’m not mistaken, here in the US, we have a pecking order after VP and Speaker of the House up to #18 in line for the presidency, and I believe each one has a security detail – so much so that they are not allowed to drive their own cars. As Bea & Eugenie are what – #6 & 7 in line, shouldn’t they each have at least 1 bodyguard?

    1. They lost their Security Detail in 2012 following investigation into the approximate $8 billion royal security was costing the taxpayers (the figure was inflated of course by the Royal Wedding and the Diamond Jubilee). The Princesses were assessed as being low-risk. Prince Andrew decided to continue having a Scotland Yard guard covering each of them out of his own pocket at a cost of approximately $500,000 a year for both girls. (He’s worth a reported $75 million). Because of Prince Charles’ efforts to streamline the monarchy, the Princesses are considered minor royals. The biggest risks to royals are are terror threats, the Princesses aren’t really on the radar, even Prince Harry is considered a lesser target because he’s not directly in line to the throne.

      1. Oh, thanks for clearing that up. But that SUCKS!!! I mean, they are blood royals, and I can see why there might be some feelings of resentment between the York girls and Kate. I mean, they are in the family all their lives, and it seems Kate waltzes in, and they start to lose fairly important things, while most of Britain drools over Kate. I’m not sure taking their security is a smart thing. I mean, yeah, we can b*tch about the whole lot, but at heart, I don’t want anything bad to happen to them. Hopefully, they each have a bodyguard (not necessarily Scotland Yard) and maybe per diem SY boys – like for the Memphis wedding. And it is better if we the public don’t have the details.

  5. lovelola- do you happen to know where to find the full interviews of royal watchers and in particular James Whitaker’s critical interview of Kate in this video: (he’s in the first clip) ? I can’t seem to find any of the interviews in that video. I’d like to hear the truth from the Brits who know that inner circle, and the folks in that video seem to know what’s up. The only problem is there are only small clips of the interviews and the music overlay is pretty bad.

    1. I looked as well and couldn’t find anything but that video. I’ll let you know if I’m able to dig anything up. I watched this when it first came out and I don’t remember the sound quality being this bad.

      1. I love the truth. Cannot stand charades. Those interviews were pretty great it’s a shame they weren’t put together nicely and in their entirety

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