Kate Middleton’s Birthday Weekend

On Saturday, Kate Middleton celebrated her 34th birthday.  According to Royal Correspondent, Emily Andrews, she spent her birthday pheasant hunting with Prince William and friends.


Yeah, that’s kind of like when the guy you’re dating suggests taking you to a strip club for your birthday and buying you a lap dance because he thinks that would be so hot and so you dump him.  Except Kate actually went pheasant hunting.

On Sunday, the Middletons accompanied Kate on the walk to St. Mary Magdalene Church with Prince William, two of Princess Charlotte’s godparents, James Meade and Sophie Carter, Prince Philip, the Queen’s cousin, The Honourable Mary Morrison, and Penelope Eastwood, joining Her Majesty for Church Services.  Well, isn’t that special?!

Kate wore the same Michael Kors suit she wore to church services on December 27th almost identically styled.


Normally, you would see this sort of suit with tissues tucked up the sleeve  and accessorized with compression stockings and reading glasses dangling from an eyeglass chain, sort of the unofficial uniform of celibacy.  Kate looked liked she was in dire need of being ravaged by something other than time.


The photos in the Daily Mail are pretty gruesome, so are most of the comments.


The brutalness of remarks about Kate’s rapidly aging appearance was exceeded only by criticism over the increasing presence of the social-climbing Middletons basking in a status that is not afforded to in-laws.


Back from their St. Barts getaway, James wore his somewhat tamed furry face monster and Pippa a fur hat.


Likely, Pippa’s fur hat was borrowed from Kate since Pippa’s skinned animal corpse cranium cap resembles a microphone windshield.


Pippa’s hat on Sunday bore a striking resemblance to one Kate has worn several times.


Carole decided to wear her fur around her neck.  I’m not sure what is more disturbing, the Middleton’s fondness for bloodsport and fur, or Carole being so visibly excited about Walking with the Windsors that the world now knows what the Middleton matriarch’s orgasm face looks like.


Kate did follow royal protocol on Sunday by curtseying to the Queen.  At least, the Daily Mail identified whatever this was as such.


When Kate’s heel got stuck on St. Patrick’s Day 2013 in a grate, she executed a better curtsey, even if accidentally.  Then again, her head was bowed in reverence because it was her shoe after all.  Perhaps Her Majesty would get a little more respect from the duchess if she came in suede.KateStPatrick'sDay2013

In addition to Sunday’s curious curtsey expression, I still can’t figure out if a chunk of Kate’s hair fell out somewhere along the way or if it’s just the way the light is hitting it giving the appearance of a bald spot.


After church services, Kate’s family departed before a brief memorial ceremony commemorating the 100th Anniversary of the tragic Gallipoli campaign during which several soldiers who had worked at Sandringham died.  According to the Daily Mail, Kate’s family, “walked straight back to Sandringham House after church with other members of the Royal party.”

For the Middletons,the Royal party never seems to end.  Perhaps maintaining a sense of entitlement keeps the royal hang-over away.


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115 thoughts on “Kate Middleton’s Birthday Weekend”

  1. I’m sure Kate has no idea which day of the week she wakes up on – but when you are in a deep sleep I guess it doesn’t matter

  2. Great blog as always Lola.
    I’m not really sure what I should be more scared of though… James and his face fungus or Pippa’s really short skirt. Please don’t show either photo to Nightwing as he might get a fright.
    I’m also hoping Pippa didn’t end up flashing the vicar in church when getting up from kneeling.
    I was wondering why the Middletons didn’t go to the wreath laying? I did get the impression that Kate was not keen on going and it took one of the Queen’s ladies in waiting to get her there, I’m talking about the lady in the red coat.
    It was interesting to see Kate’s curtsey at the wreath laying. Protocol means that you curtsey the first time you see the royal that day, so Kate didn’t meet up with HM in church? Hmm…

    1. Thanks, Cathy. I’m sure because of living with me Nightwing has a high threshold for the visually traumatic. I still don’t know if he gets excited when he sees me putting on make-up because he associates it with my taking him for a walk or if he just thinks I look way better with it on.

      The Queen was dropped off by Bentley and I imagine the Traveling Middleton Show was seated behind the Queen. I’m not sure how it works with the Queen at church services, but much of the Church of England is similar to Catholicism. In the Catholic Church, there’s an observed formality to the service, it would be inappropriate to do greetings within the church, traditionally all that’s done after services outside. I worked part-time for the Catholic Church in college, I’ve been to mass said by priest friends I’ve been out drinking with, whose residences I’ve hung out in and who have similarly been to my apartment socially and when inside the church, no one would be even able to tell we’d ever even met, there is no change of intonation during communion, so it may be the same with the Queen who is Head of the Church. While she may be there for mass, her presence is also within an official capacity.

      I also question if William and Kate had any intention of attending the wreath-laying, I think they were planning on walking back with Kate’s family, it looked to me like The Honourable Margaret Rhodes (the woman in the red coat, she’s the Queen’s cousin, they’re very close), pulled William and Kate aside and said the Queen wants you there. It was a very quick ceremony, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a bit of lapse in communication, it didn’t occur to William and Kate they were expected to go because they’re self-absorbed and oblivious and the Queen’s staff underestimated just how clueless and selfish William and Kate are.

      1. Do you really think the Queen’s staff can possibly still underestimate Kate and William’s complete and utter self-absorption and cluelessness after all this time? That alone beggars belief. At least they turned up, wrangled to the event by a 90- year old, but how much better it would have been to ask the Queen what they could do to help recognise the event.

        Lola, I looked up Margaret Rhodes; in an interview pre-George she thought Kate would do well as she did not, “vie for coverage” as Diana was prone to. Diana still makes them smart in the RF, but MR’s comment also suggests that Steps Have Been Taken for there not to be a re-occurrence of such behaviour. No need to worry there; Kate won’t stir for anything but shopping and holidays. I’d imagine the bigger worry for them is Carole’s smuggy-smug-smug vying for coverage, not to mention the sibling’s thirst for the limelight.

        1. Statements by the Honourable Margaret Rhodes are always very interesting, there’s more depth to them than surface value. This is an excerpt from “The Final Curtsey” (more can be read here http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2002548/The-Queen-I-Her-Majestys-cousin-lifts-lid-private-lives-Royals.html):

          “Princess Diana also had this gift for scattering stardust, although in a much more overt way. But Queen Elizabeth was compassionate, too, although she did not brim over with it before the crowds. She was not one for the binding up of wounds in public.”

          This CNN article reveals some personal insights about Queen Elizabeth II, as revealed by Margaret:
          I love this part:
          “I do see the queen most Sundays. We go to the same little church in the park here on Sunday and, unless she’s very busy, she comes in and has a drink after church so it keeps up the relationship. Gin and Dubonnet is her booze in the morning.”

          Being so close to her aunt, the Queen Mother, serving as her Lady in Waiting in the years before her death and her cousin, Queen Elizabeth II, throughout her life, has given her an interesting and insightful perspective. I think Princess Diana was as alien to the royal way of life as Kate is proving to be.

          Just from reading various articles, I got the sense Margaret was more hopeful for Kate in the beginning, as many of us were, she had made a comment before the wedding that Kate had been with William for almost decade and so unlike other women who have married into the family, Kate should well prepared for what she was getting into. Post-wedding, Margaret admitted she doesn’t know Kate very well which is interesting because to me that implies the Queen also doesn’t know her very well.

          Margaret, like the Queen, does not believe in divorce. It was difficult for the Queen to accept the divorce of Prince Charles and her other children, she felt she failed as a mother, and I suspect part of the reason Kate has been allowed to underperform so atrociously is because it’s important to the Queen that their marriage go the distance. Margaret’s made comments that the younger generations give up too easily on marriage and bail when there is difficulty, so I think Prince William and Kate could be exploiting this belief she shares with the Queen to do what they please under the guise of family being so important to them.

          1. Thanks for the links, Lola. I’ve enjoyed reading various accounts from Mary Morrison and Margaret Rhodes; such different attitudes towards service and discretion. I agree with your observation that William and Kate most likely milk their positions for all that they are worth, with the occasional tantrum to quit thrown in if they don’t get their way (= Don’t us ask to do anything! Why should we? ). Not for them, duty! I imagine the Queen hopes K and W will ‘grow’ into their roles, but neither has ever worked or done anything for anyone in their lives so how could they do so?

            Like Herazeus, I find killing animals for fun abhorrent. Really, William has no clue . The more I hear of him, the more unlikable and unsuitable he seems to be for, well, pretty much anything really. Kate, of course, is no better. Neither of them seem to be acquainted with the real world.

          2. Post-wedding, Harry also admitted to not knowing Kate well at all. This being said after the joyous wedding announcement, when he commented on how happy he was for them and always wanted a sister etc etc.
            They were together for 10 YEARS and it appears most people in the family knew her as well as I did…through the party pages. Well, except for the York sisters. But I think they got their fill (Katemeangirl) long before the vows were said. William kept that chick under cover from his own family, so he knew what she was capable of long ago. But the lure of a girl on demand must be a strong one, cause he married her anyway, and here we are in 2016, and nothing has changed.

      2. The woman in the red coat is actually the Hon. Mary Morrison. One of the current lot of HM’s LIW.

        Margaret Rhodes isn’t very social these days – if you can class church attendance as being social. She’s retired from LIW duties and the last I heard is that she is too poorly to go out.

        1. That’s hilarious, I was griping about all of the press misidentifications, and I did one of my own. Thanks for the correction!

          For readers unfamiliar with these two women who are very close to the Queen, this is The Honourable Mary Morrison:

          And of course, The Honourable Margaret Rhodes:

          Eh, I suck. I’m sorry to hear Margaret is slowing down a bit. She is 90, though. I’m not sure how the Queen manages all that she does. She did more than five times the amount of engagements Kate managed in 2015.

          Margaret’s been making the rounds in the news, quoted in the Sunday Express in response to the anthem change proposal as saying, “We have been happily singing God Save The Queen for ever – I don’t see the need to change it.”

          1. Reading Margaret’s reaction to pending baby news, it strikes me that the only person who was excited by it was Sophie. Everybody else was rather meh! About it. And now Sophie doesn’t speak to (or just about tolerates) Kate.

            That church walk really demonstrated starkly how different the royals and Middletons are.

            The Middletons (including Kate) are your typical new money look at me type of people. This christmas is the first time Kate has dressed like she belongs, not like a lottery winner who thinks she should dress flashly.

            The media highlighted her as per usual, but on this occasion, I think she blended.

            And the royals, at least HM’s side of the family, are long lived. She really needs to start making friends with them. She’s going to be with them for a very long time.

            1. It’s strange to me that Kate would rather go shopping or sit on the couch sipping chardonnay with Carole than get to know members of the Queen’s family who have lived through fascinating parts of history. I would probably be so relentless in hearing their stories, the Queen’s relatives would start turning off the lights and ducking behind furniture any time my car pulled up.

              Sophie got off to a bit of a rocky start with The Royal Family and yet has integrated herself wonderfully. Her relationship with the Queen reflects just how import the family unit is with Her Majesty who thinks of Sophie as a daughter, not an in-law. It’s amazing when you think of how full the Queen’s schedule is how she always makes time to maintain her personal relationships, having weekly standing visits with members of her family, stopping by the home of Angela Kelly from time to time for tea and to chat, extending invites to Sophie’s father, watching all of Zara’s competitions on tv and talking with her on the phone afterwards, she also has a member of her staff keep her updated on those who work for her, the failing health of a parent or impending birth of a child, she cares about those who serve her and the well-being of their families. The only thing I can imagine Kate asking staff to keep her updated on are Zara’s sales.

              This was the first walk with the royals at Christmas that Kate’s hair was up (her hair was back for the Berkshire Christmas with the Middletons), Kate wasn’t a walking mass of bouncy curls alongside the Windsors. I also think the Oak and Acorn Brooch is one of Kate’s nicest personal pieces (with the exception of her two gifted demi-parures, her personal jewelry makes me sad). The brooch looks Victorian to me but I’ve never been able to dig up any info on it other than it being a suspected gift from the Middletons because of the coat of arms elements. I should do a post one day on the versatility of brooches, they are woefully underutilized because often they are associated with older generations. I wear brooches/pins on the front of a bag or on hat, attached to a bracelet made of connected rows of seed beads, across a doubled-up strand of faux pearls, in my hair, I make brooches and pin them to the bows of wrapped gifts, incorporate vintage brooches into Christmas decorations, put them on throw pillows, on a ribbon around a pencil cup or votive holder, use them to anchor scarves which never stay in place on me otherwise and on occasion, I wear one on a jacket lapel.

              1. Kate doesn’t come across as being interested in anything, nor wanting to move outside her immediate family circle: an insular woman. It’s hard to believe she has earned a degree. In an earlier post a few months ago you declared that Kate didn’t really exist pre-William. She barely registers now.

                1. True, I just still find it baffling. I guess that’s why I find Kate interesting, she seemingly has no interests beyond being Mrs. Prince William, there’s nothing about her I can relate to on a personal level.

                  Last night on my way to buy Powerball tickets for the $1.5 billion jackpot, I started daydreaming about all of the people I would be able to help with a jackpot of that size. That’s my lottery fantasy, I would set up a charitable organization and use the money to better the lives of others. Kate’s job is to support charities, she has the ability to help people and causes on a large scale, and yet she can’t be bothered. I can’t comprehend that.

                  1. Good luck with that ticket! I too dream of having a sizable chunk of money to do some real good for people and animals. Imagine the possibilities… Like you, I have it all planned: setting up trusts where the interest is used to fund projects on a long term basis.

                    As for ‘dull, serious, cold’ Kate, yes, she is fascinating in her one dimensional persona. I get that those who live by DIsney buy into the fantasy peddled but what about everyone else?

                    1. Sadly, I didn’t win. There were three winning tickets, one sold in California, one in Tennessee and one in Florida. Hopefully the winners share our secret dreams of bettering the world.

                      Beyond Disney devotees and those who place value on titles, I don’t think Kate has as large a fan base as the press purports. During the 2014 NYC visit, the “crowd” of fans awaiting their arrival at the Carlyle numbered about twenty, mostly girls in their teens and early twenties. On their Australia tour, Gordon Rayner of “The Telegraph” wrote, “So far the crowds that have turned out to see them in Sydney have been underwhelming; only 3,000 were there to see them arrive at the Opera House, compared with a crowd of 200,000 that turned out to see Charles and Diana in Melbourne in 1983.” Kate usually comes in fourth on UK Royal popularity polls, beneath Harry, the Queen and William. That’s pretty surprising given how hard they try to sell her as a young glamorous princess, the media doing their best to portray Kate as a fairytale princess to peddle papers and magazines. Between Kate’s lack of work ethic and Prince William’s press temper tantrums, they aren’t winning any new fans while the number of those supporting this Gruesome Twosome wanes.

                  2. Damn that Powerball ticket! Hope you didn’t spend too much on it.

                    Here in the South Pacific, when Royal Tours are on, school kids are always wheeled out to cheer them on. Lots of kids and it is cheaper than rent-a-crowd. Plus the kids get the day off school, have a flag planted in their sweaty hands, and maybe find themselves on the evening news. Put them together with the ever-diminishing group of elderly who grew up revering the RF, plus the Disney crew and abracadabra, instant audience. That said, Charles and Camilla acquitted themselves well when they were here in 2015, making sure they spent ample time (and beyond what was timetabled) with the public lined up to meet them. But I’m sure they both know that a republic is inevitable in this part of the world, well before William’s turn in the driver’s seat.

      3. Hand on heart, I am not trying to speculate on the Cambridge marriage, but if the day ever comes when the PM announces a W&K split, there will be two news announcements.

        The second one: Mrs. Carole Middleton suffered a sudden cardiac event.

      1. I’ve been meaning to pick up The Honourable Margaret Rhodes’ autobiography, “The Final Curtsey”. Because she’s Queen Elizabeth’s first cousin and only ten months older than Her Majesty, they were childhood playmates. Margaret worked for MI6 during WWII, was Woman of the Bedchamber for The Queen Mum, she is sharp as a tack, speaks candidly, has spent her life around the Royal Family, is a close confidante of the Queen and as such, has served to clarify information about the Royal Family the history books and media have gotten wrong. When Margaret talks, it’s worth listening, she has insights no other living person possesses, while she is loyal to the Royal Family, she is also a woman of integrity.

  3. Before I begin my moaning, great post Lola! I love and you are absolutely correct about Kate’s outfit. I have a feeling she might not be getting any because Bill is trying to avoid Cambridge 3.0.

    I cannot stand this family any more. Carole was in her imagined element. It is what she worked so hard for during the dating years. To walk with the BRF and have her picture taken. If not for the fur, I’d swear she was wearing one of her old stewardess outfits. Could Pippa and Carole look any smugger?

    As for Pippa’s outfit, she was probably hoping that Harry would be there. Girl has to take advantage of every opportunity thrown her way.

    Kate and William have turned into two old farts. I don’t know why they look so old. They don’t do all that much, they should have skin like a baby’s butt. Carole must be on them day and night about her priorities and needs. If Kate looked younger, I would swear she was sucking the youth out of William for her use, but it’s obvious that’s not the case.

    With the exception of Pippa, the Midds girls dressed all matchy-matchy again. I swear Carole is hoping someone mistakes her for Kate and drops a curtsy. She’d be beside herself if that happened.

    I am glad to see that she let Michael Middleton out of the cupboard. I feel so sorry for him.

    Oh, how I wish HM would shut this down. I really hope Prince Charles tells William it’s not happening on his watch. I just can’t stand it. Someone please wake me up from this nightmare!

    1. Oh yeah, Kate’s hair. That bald spot is because she’s got that wiglet attached again. The color is all wrong and it’s got that fake hair gloss to it. Ugh! I’ll cut her a little slack because she wore it up, but would someone burn those wiglets and extensions already!

      1. I thought maybe she was going for ‘ the Aida’ of The Piano look or perhaps she had Rebecca take styling notes while on the set of Downton and thought ‘the O’Brien’ would be a hit. A hideous period up do would go along nicely with that suit.

    2. Thanks, Lisa. I noticed Carole chose a skirt length identical to Kate’s. And I’m 99% sure Carole was wearing Kate’s Jame’s Lock and Company Betty Boop hat. Both Kate’s sister and Carole had to borrow from Kate’s wardrobe just to underscore they are related to a future Queen Consort.

      I think Pippa’s short skirt was more about the attention, the length got more attention than the whole traveling circus combined. It was supposedly a brisk morning, that’s dedication to getting noticed.

      Mike was probably just there for the sake of appearances, had he not been, it would have lent credibility to the rumors he and Carole are presently separated. The palpable awkwardness and distance between the two didn’t do much to dispel rumors. I wonder how William is handling the marital troubles of his “perfect normal family”. I’m sure in his mind, it is the fault of the press and the people. All marriages go through rocky times, though, that marriage wouldn’t have lasted this long if Carole and Mike didn’t truly love each other, and no one could fault Mike for needing a bit of a break.

      I think this Middleton situation will be curtailed once Charles is king. The Queen is laissez-faire with familial matters, since the Queen Mother passed away, there’s been no lifeguard on duty. Prince Charles has a clearly set image of what the monarchy will look like once he becomes king and I highly doubt it involves the Middletons as back-up dancers.

      1. “Middleton’s as back-up dancers”: LOL! Well, do they provide amusement value. Carole and Kate dressing too similarly, and Pippa’s bum breezer coat, is all too much ‘visual trauma’.

        I think Charles will have difficulty shutting down the Middleton Travelling Circus, because, like a cancer, they will have seeped into every crevice available and be hard to dislodge… unless William falls out of love with this family.

  4. Thank you, Lola, for such a great morning read! The Middleton Matriarch comment really made me giggle.

    Kate’s curtsy is odd–not just because it really looks like she just needs to pee sooooo badly–but because no one else seems to be bowing, curtsying or even facing the same direction. Could it be that Kate yet again forgot to show her respect to the Queen at the correct moment and was caught having to do a makeup curtsy? Or is she really just trying to disguise her desperation to find a nearby porta-potty?

    And yes, the fact that Kate is aging rapidly was very clear from these photos, but also shocking was Michael Middleton’s appearance. These years with his family in the royal limelight have not been kind to him at all it appears. An earlier photo of him arriving at KP–separately from Carole–after Charlotte’s birth showed him looking as though he had spent the night before drinking heavily, and I’ve seen a few other comments here and there speculating whether he has a drinking problem. In the photos from yesterday, he certainly didn’t look well, but fatigued, bloated and haggard. If true, it would be a very heavy price to have paid for your daughter to marry a prince.

    1. Thanks, Lizzie! Between Kate’s strangely contorted curtsey and clutch pressed into her crotch, it looked like she was in need of a loo while her expression looked like someone in the midst of relieving herself.

      Kate thinks curtseys are archaic, she will fumble one when necessary, but has never executed one properly. I might not be a fan of Sofia’s, but her wedding curtsey was almost completely flawless. If there were a Curtsey Olympics, I would have scored it a 9.7. That’s what they are supposed to look like, not Kate’s trademark Bowel Movement Squirm. Kate never bows her head reverently, maintaining an almost defiant level of eye contact. In a wolf pack, Kate would be dealt with far differently.

      I think Carole’s ambitions have taken a heavy toll on her entire family. I’ve actually started to wonder if maybe Mike is suffering from some kind of illness. There was a concerning frailty to his appearance on Sunday.

      1. Your last paragraph rang especially true. Everything has been sacrificed for getting on and up. Pippa and James have an impossible task to reach Mama Rose’s bar. Were they psychologically and financially independent they would be better off creating their own lives on their own terms. I don’t give Mike a pass here; at the very least, he enabled Carole to pimp their kids.

      2. Kate thinks curtseys are archaic yet is absolutely delighted when others curtsey to her.

        I’ve only ever seen that delighted an expression on lottery winners. And possibly the rare occasions William touches her properly in public as opposed to prodding her to move along.

        1. In a the simple gesture of a curtsy, Kate confirms her character: hungers for the adulation that marrying royalty brings, but unwilling to master the respect that she demands for herself.

      3. Lola:

        Can you explain why you are not a fan of Sofia? I’m not a fan either and cannot put into words why I’m not a fan lol Go figure 😉

  5. Oh thank you thank you thank you Lola for this brilliant post! It’s Monday morning and David Bowie passed into the stardust, but you gave me a good laugh and have me feeling a little sorry for Kannot. And usually the DM comments have me despairing for humanity, but these were spot on and pretty amusing. It’s a wonderful thing when the public finally understands what it has been paying for.

    1. I was finishing this post when I heard of David Bowie’s passing. All I had left to do was plug in a few screengrabs into the post and such a simple task probably took hours. The world sparkles less brightly without David Bowie. My deepest condolences to his family, friends, fans and all who were touched by his magic.

  6. Fabulous Post! I got my daily snark and laughter, thank you! Wow. Wow. Wow. Girlfriend is looking rough! It clearly takes a lot of money to look that old. When she doesn’t have her horse teeth on display with her insane facial expressions, she looks like the ultimate mean girl. I’m aware of the resting bitch face phenomena, but in her case I think she actually is one. The response to the DM article says it all; the honeymoon is over for Kate. She looks miserable, haggard and angry and just looks so old for her age. The strange bald spot is unfortunate as well. Maybe she was trying to make Will feel better? I also think Carole looks pasty, old and ridiculous, much like her daughter. A terrible showing for all of them.

    1. As always, Lola, spot on observations. God, I needed to read your words after seeing the DM drivel. And Effie, I couldn’t agree more with your comments.

      The more the Middleton family is seen the more apparent is their dysfunction. So why do we have to see them at all? Can’t the press point their cameras anywhere but at them? I think it’s the only way to get rid of them. Smug Carole looks as if all her Christmases have come at once by being photographed.

      Kate looks rough indeed these days; she has hard facial features, and the sour look on her face seems to reveal the real Kate.

      1. I think the press is passive-aggressively keeping the Midds in the public eye. They know how unpopular the family is, and this is a way to get back at William and his privacy tantrums.

        1. The Middletons are click-bait and have willingly put themselves on display. Their behavior is a traffic accident within the Theater of the Absurd, people can’t help but look. Curious onlookers can quickly become torch and pitchfork mobs and the public is rapidly losing patience with their airs and scheming.

    2. Thanks, Effie. Kate’s shell is quickly deteriorating because that’s all there is. She has no inner light, interests, substance. Pippa’s always had a hard quality, but she is merely a less passive version of Kate. Carole has aged the best of the three, sure she’s had more professional help there, but Carole at least had an all-consuming obsession to be royal bringing blood to surface, however her face has a rodent-like quality reflective of someone who has been a lifetime looking for cracks in palace walls. Physical beauty has far more to do with the heart and mind than society tends to realize.

      1. “Physical beauty has far more to do with the heart and mind than society tends to realize.”

        This is a point that, in my opinion, is too often ignored. Kate has poured substantial effort into her outward appearance but hasn’t, as far as I can tell at least, devoted any attention to the woman inside. The results are startling. I know that beauty is subjective, but even with all the cosmetic enhancements, Kate’s never seemed (to me) to be anything more than average. Pretty, but in an incredibly ordinary kind of way. Nothing wrong there, but if she’d put equal effort into her personality and character, she might be a significantly more attractive individual in the way that people with personality and character often defy beauty stereotypes. But in the one photo of the farting squat pose, that’s apparently supposed to be a curtsey, Kate looks well into her 50s. And highly disgruntled at that. I know it’s a split-second, but I doubt it’s far from the reality.

        To me, Kate has no joy about her at all. Everything is so calculated that it’s difficult to see beyond it. Even on her wedding day, she looked more smug than anything else. How sad. What’s even sadder is that Kate apparently has no one in her immediate circle (i.e., family) who encouraged her to focus on the person within, even as she was undergoing a physical makeover. And I don’t grudge her the makeover effort. I’d have done some of that myself. But to redo my outward appearance and do nothing whatsoever to cultivate the person inside seems unthinkable to me. Apparently not to Kate, but the disparity is starting to catch up with her.

        On a slightly tangential note, Carole’s hair looks like she’s wearing a cheap wig. Not good.

        1. During Kate’s first year at Marlborough, when the boys ranked the girls on looks and Kate was devastated to discover she had scored very low. She turned to her mother and they spent the summer working on her physical appearance at Carole’s Beauty Bootcamp.

          I think Kate has always placed far too much importance on the physical. During the big break-up, instead of looking within, once again, she focused on the exterior, made herself over, started wearing shorter skirts and made sure she got papped at clubs to ‘show him what he’s missing’. Kate spent the time between having an agreement in place with William to become engaged and the announcement again working on the physical: dieting, having her teeth done, shopping, hair, etc.

          There is horrible pressure on women to adhere to societal standards of beauty. But as a public figure looked up to by young Disney-devotees because of who she married, Kate should realize she also has a responsibility, she could change societal views but instead she has continued to focus on her exterior, possibly to the detriment of her health and well-being, losing the baby weight shockingly quickly, damaging her hair with blow-outs and extensions, etc.

          I don’t have anything against plastic surgery, I’ve never had any done but I would never say never to it because who knows down the line. I do caution everyone against the use of fillers, though, I’ve seen them go horribly wrong. Cosmetic use of Botox only has FDA approval for wrinkles between the eyebrows, while it’s used elsewhere, its use can cause sagging as a result of muscle weakening, facial asymmetry and sometimes permanent muscle paralysis, most frequently seen in the form of drooping eyelids and there are prescription and OTC medications as well as herbal supplements that increase the risks. Looking at that close-up pic of Kate, even though she’s a sun-loving smoker who has tossed back a few over the years, I can’t help but wonder if there’s a side-effect cautionary tale somewhere in there. With Kate’s resources and ability to disappear for months at a time, I wonder why she hasn’t gone for chemical or laser skin rejuvenation.

          1. Speaking of Kate’s cosmetic enhancements, I think the liberal overuse of botox is why her jowls and droopy face are so bad.

            Granted she is aging more rapidly than any potus, but her face wasn’t so droopy until she botoxed it into a mask from engagement period until mid first pregnancy.

            After the rapid weight loss post-pregnancy, and before she re-applies the botox, her face is always so shocking.

            She should be the poster child for over use of botox.

            1. I’m actually surprised Kate decided to start using Botox before having kids, only because it doesn’t take much in the way of critical thinking skills to realize you don’t want to be getting Botox treatments during pregnancy, and once you start Botox your face will look different if you quit using it. Why not just punch out the babies (at the risk of sounding crass) and then do all the tweaking afterwards? There are plenty of ways she could have spruced herself up pre-babies that wouldn’t require the start-stop approach she’s used with Botox.

              1. There are a lot of Botox-pushers out there. I used to go to a highly rated spa for things like waxing and the occasional facial. They were constantly trying to convince me to get Botox. I was like, “Um, I’m in my twenties.” They would answer, “That’s when you want to start, before your skin starts to show any evidence of age.” I told them no thanks repeatedly, I’m genetically set in terms of my skin, I even mentioned I had UV analysis of my skin done and there’s no lurking sun damage but their aggressive Botox sales tactics continued and I got so fed up, I started going elsewhere. Given how much emphasis Kate puts on the physical combined with her wrinkle-cultivating lifestyle, Kate probably was probably an easy target when it came to Botox and anything else needle-wielders had to sell.

          2. Kate’s fixation on beauty which I gather equates to being as thin as possible, constantly sexualising herself, being available whenever for whatever is a direct result of her mother’s guidance in the Marlborough years. More like Madame Carole’s Booty Camp. It’s shameful the priorities that have been signalled to their daughters by both parents. Certainly, no work ethic, no independence, no reflective qualities, no resilience, no humility, no warmth, no empathy…

            1. It’s interesting because despite Kate’s attempts to sexualize herself, there is nothing remotely sexy about her. Remember that Newsweek Europe/YouGov poll published in September 2014 revealed that only 6% of men wish they were dating Kate Middleton and 89% of women wouldn’t want to be Kate for even one day. She’s just not appealing.

              Trying to be sexy never works, you either are or you aren’t. It’s why most Marilyn Monroe impersonators fail miserably, forced attempts at sexiness come across as awkward in a masculine way.

              1. I agree, Kate is not remotely sexy and the poll you mentioned is certainly unequivocal. The tight clothes, emphasis on maintaining a very thin body, the underwear that “would make even a cheese cutter wince”, botox et al seem to be her way of communicating with the world. Just a another gear up from mooning. All on the surface, as the insightful comments up-thread reveal. Awful.

              2. Oh my goodness! I’m glad someone else said this. I always thought it was a bit hilarious that Kate still managed to be boring even after taking off her clothes on that balcony. Heck, her husband looked bored.

                I can’t fault her for not being sexy, as I wouldn’t place myself in the sexy category either. But I’d like to think I have enough self-awareness to avoid playing up a trait I don’t have. I’m sure Kate has other qualities she could have worked on over the years that, in a reverse sort of way, would have made her seem more attractive than low necklines and going commando have done. But as always with Kate, she misses the mark completely. This woman needs to get some space from mummy-dearest and find friends who will be honest with her.

                1. I think ‘sexiness’ is not necessarily defined by the physical. Being comfortable in your own skin certainly is, as is being warm and compassionate, curious, with a lively mind. Physicality changes with age and circumstance; to depend on it alone is a dangerous game.

                  1. I agree. Which is why I find it so bizarre that Kate’s put all her energy into her outward appearance and still managed to come up with such mediocre results. All along the way, she needed someone telling her to work on the inside along with the outside.

                    1. The sad thing is if she is doing all of this to keep William interested it reflects badly on both of them because it seems the relationship is based mostly on the superficial instead of including a melding of their personalities, likes and agreements about basic life tenets.

                      It seems she shifted on the outside to fit into the mold of the type of girl William wanted instead of challenging him in a different way. Now she’s forever damned to have to attain and maintain what she feels is the outward appearance that William wants. I also think this applies to the flashing as well. William wanted a girl with a little edge to her, Kate’s edge was/is flashing (school) and not wearing anything underneath. Unfortunately, instead of remaining a secret between them the whole world was let in on it with the many fly ups.

                      Also, outwardly she tends to come of as very, for lack of a better word, simple. Despite the claims of the KP press, she does not come off the least bit intellectual and I really think William wanted someone who was a little sharper (but not sharper than him) in that area. So instead of attempting to better herself in this area she overcompensates with her outward appearance.

                      The maintenance of the character she created to win William is draining her. And I think the maintenance of the relationship with someone he would have not chosen if he had the choice is draining William.

                    2. It’s all she has. Kate has been primed and chooses to privilege this above any other attributes she may have.

                      We see it all the time don’t we? Whether in the media or the workplace, physical attractiveness telegraphing ‘availability’ is harnessed to claim the prize. There is only a certain window of time though… that outer shell deteriorates very quickly and there’s always another more supple body waiting.

                  2. I agree! Sexiness is definitely a personal quality, not just what you look like. Kate’s body is really nice when she’s not too thin, but her poor posture, crotch clutching and awkward gait just decimates any sex appeal she might have had. William is obviously very easy to please and skanking it up in her knickers was enough to capture his attention. I have a body that I’m really proud of, because I spent years studying dance a and working my ass off and achieved the ballet body that I love. I don’t consider myself sexy AT ALL, mostly because I am shy and always choose comfort over looks (under my skinny jeans and boots, I usually have a fleece liner 😀 ) I live in soft skinny jeans and oversized jumpers and love lounging around the house in my fleece pajamas. I am outdoors a lot and am mom to a wild, energetic and goofy lab, so I am often covered in mud and grass. I adore my slouchy knitted hats, scarves and mittens too. I just like to be comfortable and warm at all times, so sexiness is sacrificed. It’s definitely not about body type either, it’s really about an inner quality and relaxed confidence. It irritates me that Kate gets praised for her supposed radiant beauty, when the truth is that it costs a fortune to make her look moderately attractive and she ruins it with bizarre facial expressions and a sour attitude. Despite all of her nudity and flashing incidents, she just doesn’t pull off sexy. She is still far more attractive than William and I shudder at the thought of having to climb into bed with him. Maybe she works harder than we give her credit for? Even picturing them kissing is horrifying and it must take skill to avoid chipping her veneers on his gopheric set of champers. Okay, I have to stop before I make myself Ill. Why on earth does Kate get praised by the sugary articles while the sexy and beautiful Adele gets criticized?

        2. Melete – Your comments about inner beauty are spot-on.

          At age 34 – after almost five years of marriage, Kate has begun taking positive steps toward the more serious side of her royal role. Observable external improvements include taking on more work engagements (even “talkies”), cutting and better managing her hair, and assuming a more modest demeanor and clothing. All together, these are pointed in the right direction for a more professional public persona.

          Prior to this, Kate had been called out for her celebrity style – notably her over-the-top smile, legs, and “glossy locks.” Without the distractions of celebrity style, Kate now appears plain and dull to us and – as some have noted – not aging well. In my opinion, this is not due to the BRF or being a “busy mum.” At the Gallipoli memorial service, Kate’s tight, conservative suit accentuated her thin frame, poor posture and rounded back. The lack of accessorizing in a chic and elegant way – especially around her neckline – made her outfit and her expression seem severe. While Kate is pretty, she is not a stunner. The right scarf and jewelry would frame and soften her face. The reference up-thread to O’Brien in Downton Abbey re Kate’s new up-do is funny, and it does seem that she tries to emulate the look of that era on more formal occasions.

          To get back to Melete’s point, it is the inner beauty of a person that shines through and attracts, and that is what we hope to see in royalty. We see this quality in Kate’s royal contemporaries – Mary, Letitia, Charlene, Rania and Maxima. We are still waiting to see that quality emerge in Kate.

        3. melete,

          *yes* she did look smug on her wedding day! I love royal weddings so I was watching but hadn’t followed this couple at all. The fact that she was trying desperately to hide her triumph and the inherent smugness captured my attention, and now I’ve been fascinated ever since. She turned out to be exactly what I thought she was in that church. And her family is an extension of that.

          I wonder if any of the royals get it? It’s so patently obvious. And how oblivious can the princeling actually be?

      2. Oh my! I just love this entire description! I also think Carole looks the brightest and most vigorous because she is an emotional vampire and sucks the life out of her family. The more wan they become (helpless and under her scheming thumb) the more she thrives.

        “……however her face has a rodent-like quality reflective of someone who has been a lifetime looking for cracks in palace walls”.

        This is just golden, *golden* I tell you!

        Loved the post, I laughed a lot. Just hilarious, and desperately true. Thanks!

      3. Thank you! Yes, I completely agree! Who you are and what kind of person you are has so much to do with beauty. It’s not about age or wealth either! This morning I saw an elderly lady at the grocery store and she was laughing really hard at something her grandchild (I assumed) said and I was struck by how beautiful she was! You could tell that she had spent her life laughing a lot and radiated humor and kindness. She was gorgeous, wrinkles, white hair and all. That is true beauty to me. 🙂

        1. I officially cut my mother off from her fix-up attempts when it turned out the last guy she tried to set me up with was desperately in love with her. I’ve been grocery shopping with her when guys younger than me have hit on her. I’m not sure why my Dad even bothers getting jealous, she’s completely oblivious to all of it. My mother is physically beautiful, but she also radiates an inner light, I doubt she’s ever had a mean thought in her life. I’ve always assumed I was the result of some accidental switched-at-birth scenario, but my mother maintains she was conscious the whole time and I’m definitely hers.

  7. Every time I see Pippa and James together, I get some serious House of Usher vibes. That family is dysfunctional and only getting more visibly so with each passing year. The veneer is really cracking.

    As for Kate, the poor old dowd–I have to admit I’m feeling a guilty little pang of empathy for her. In that one picture, it looks like she’s been crying her eyes out for hours.

    1. Interesting literary analogy of adult siblings with live and vacation together, and far superior to mine. Even though Edgar Allan Poe is one of my favorite authors, my mind always went to “Flowers in the Attic”.

  8. Kates bald spot – yikes.

    I note Mike didn’t walk with Carole to the church or back. Still seems odd between them.

    1. I’m still not sure if it’s some odd trick of light or if Kate’s hair is falling out in clumps because of years of extensions addiction. I hope she weens herself off of them because hair loss caused by extensions can be permanent, especially with long-term use.

  9. What a great read!! Love it!!
    The Midds- I can so see Ma dressing like Waity so somebody would indeed drop her a curtsy. Pips and Mallow Boy are getting creepier all the time. Her mini dress was oh-so wrong, and his icky beard is just gross. All three look like they could do with a wash!! Mikey looks drunk or ill; is that chick with him is keeper?

    Waity is just a huge lost cause, no style, old and idiotic. And what was with the curtsy when nobody else was? Sheesh

    1. Thanks, Cathy. At least James trimmed the beard back a bit, it had deranged mountain man straggle, he was looking like someone who had foregone person hygiene for a couple of decades because he was consumed by an obsession of finding gold.

      The woman with Mike Middleton was Sophie Carter (the media did a terrible job with IDs), one of Charlotte’s godparents. There were some subtle insinuations that Sophie was Mike’s new girlfriend, but no, she’s known Kate for years, she was making sure he was okay because no one else in his family has the compassion or awareness to do so.

  10. Ya the midds and william have tried very hard to shelter waity katie but its not working anymore, a 34 year old been in the RF for nearly 5 yrs dated the prince for a decade , lives in palatial homes is very good at spending/wasting money, is catered to 24/7, she makes me sick, if she wanted a nowork/pampered/party lifesyle she stalked the wrong person, she has duty and responsibility and she cant keeps running away from that, lets see her 2016 excuses of staying out work manual!!!!

    1. I think the blue cropped, zip up jacket Carole is wearing is the one she wore with jeans, when she and Mike gave their TV response to the engagement news. And her scarf has a section that looks similar to the chunky scarf Kate is wearing in the shooting pic.

      On the clothing note, there are a couple of shots of Kate shopping with George at KMR. Oh gosh, I DESPISE just how much money the woman has spent on jackets/coats and shoes! Especially as so many are the same. I know the Midds women seem to keep their clothes for years, kudos for that but just the cost of one jacket could pay for a new dining table and chairs for a flood victim! Grr…!

      1. Speaking of the shooting pic, am I the only one who thinks she looks like a crazed Eastern European dictator(ess) in that one?

    2. It’s crazy to think Kate’s a thirty-four-year-old woman. I’m sure most of us have our moments, when we’ve got the flu or had an atrocious day when we think, “I want my Mommy.” But for Kate, that appears to be every single second of every single day. I have a hard time picturing her as a Queen Consort. Or a wife. Or a mother. Or someone who doesn’t need her mittens pinned to her coat.

      1. The pair come across as suffering from arrested development, no doubt due to never being independent. Somehow, I don’t think that’s going to change.

  11. It made me a bit ill to think of them out shooting birds for fun. And even more ill thinking that the people have to pay for their lifestyle via taxes. I am really happy to live in the US when I read about the (I am sure very “draining” duties of standing at a service for a few moments) activities they engage in that the UK public has to pay for. Thanks for the great blog on this continuing ridiculous saga…

  12. The Daily Mail reports that Princess Pip is dating her old boyfriend again. Guess Ma Mid figures his family money and expensive resort ownership etc are worth a closer look – I think she realises that a Title is out of reach – Pip is too long in the tooth and has entertained too many gents to make her “marriage material” for society families – so she will have to settle for money

    1. My friend pointed out that a romance of sorts had to be announced because dear Pippa was caught doing the walk of shame by the paps from James’s house back in October (and other locations) when she was officially with Nico.

      1. Of course I also think Nico used Pippa to get his current job and emotionally checked out of the relationship the minute it was confirmed. He was such an eager beaver prior to that and then physically absent afterwards.

      2. Embarrassing! I wondered how they’d explain her exiting James’s house the next morning. Of course, if you want to be discreet and avoid the press, you can. Perhaps Pippa was sticking it to Nico in much the same way her sister stuck it to William after the Big Break up.

        1. The relationship with Nico had cooled considerably when he moved to Switzerland. The Middletons tried to play it that they were still going strong, the reason they were keeping it long-distance was because Pippa couldn’t bear to be separated from her family and London life, the same excuse they rolled out regarding the NBC job. However, according to the rumor mill, Nico never asked Pippa to move to Switzerland.

          Nico agreed to the occasional outing despite their cooled status. I’ve heard he’s a genuinely nice guy, it’s possible he’s a genuinely nice guy who recognized a PR opportunity, but regardless, after he relocated, I don’t think he was anything other than a shiny placeholder until Pippa found a new beau.

          I noticed there were a number of comments in the DM article about the Middletons Walking with the Windsors by people making remarks insinuating there was something creepy about Pippa’s relationship with her brother. I wasn’t surprised the relationship with James Matthews was announced. Pippa certainly doesn’t need any more gossip circulating about her, especially the Middletons in the Attic kind. James Matthews might not be titled, but he seems to have other qualities that Pippa finds appealing. He’s no Nico Jackson but Pippa is still doing way better in the man department than I am. Carole might not be Mother of the Year, but she does seem to get results. Not that I view Prince William a prize, he’s arrogant, petulant, self-entitled and balding, I wasn’t even willing to put on a dress and heels to meet him, but he’s the one Kate circled in her Prince Catalogue.

          1. Poor old Pips. Not moving to Switzerland seemed odd at the time, and the family excuse does not ring true.

            As for Kate’s Prince’s Catalogue, she might have had the outlet version given a whopping 89% didn’t want to be her, which also indicates they didn’t want any part of William either.

      1. Indeed – but I’m sure rupert is not lining up for another younger brunette with eyes on his money – and Jerry looks better at 59 than does Pippa at her current age

  13. I wonder if the middleton crashed the walk with the r.f.? Does anyone think that mother middleton want to keep KM under her thumb so she can control waity. I do not understand why it the royals have gotten rid of Diana & Sarah & the middleton family getting away with far worse that D & S, I am very puzzled.! My apologies if someone else has written the same as me.

    1. Kate’s been a Mummy’s Girl her whole life, she was known for it in school and nothing has changed much since. I don’t think Carole needs to do anything to keep Kate under her thumb, Kate lives her life clutching her hand. I doubt the Middletons crashed, the whole family was already at Anmer for Kate’s birthday, I’m sure Kate and William invited them along. William’s mother complained she felt isolated once she joined the Royal Family and William promised Carole they would continue to be involved in their lives, it was a perfect storm of want and scheme.

    2. I think that the person that Carole wants to keep under her thumb and control is William, especially after he went on that boar hunting holiday in Spain with Jecca. But it must be rather hard to do, when one’s son-in-law can easily scamper off for the weekend to another of his granny’s protected and private palaces.

      And if the Middletons had ever shown any awareness of their own spiritual development, any interest in being part of a worship community, or even any appreciation of the history of the Church of England, then it wouldn’t be such a joke when they do join the Queen at services. But the only times they set foot in a house of worship is if it’s a society wedding, society christening, society memorial or funeral, or to be seen with the Queen. And that lovely little historic church whose setting Kate and Will ruined with their privacy issues at Anmer Hall–I bet that beyond worrying about keeping the parishioners from peering over the hedge, William and the Middletons haven’t given one thought to that church, much less attended a service there or even gone inside for a moment of peace and reflection.

  14. I think the comments were just as enlightening as this post Lola!
    Thank you for writing it. While reading it I could not stop thinking…”Pride comes before the fall”.

    Off topic – did you know some folks are blocked from seeing your site? There is a “This site may be hacked” message under your link in a Google search.

    1. Lola you can go into Google, you can resubmit your domain to be scanned by Google….they will get back to you with why it’s showing as hacked. If it’s wordpress your hist might be able to help you as well…

      1. Thanks, Bear. It was a WordPress software vulnerability issue which I fixed as soon as I found out about it, I just completely forgot about the Google registration follow-up process. I’ll take care of it tomorrow.

    2. Thanks for the reminder, temi. With being sick and the holidays, I totally forgot about it. It had to do with a version of WordPress which was discovered to contain a software vulnerability that could potentially be exploited by hackers to access personal data which I don’t collect but because of the risk, WordPress sites using that software version were flagged. When I found out about it, I did an overhaul and updated my site with the software version that fixed the security vulnerability, I just got sidetracked before I went through go the security confirmation registration process with Google.

  15. Okay…front page of DM…There is Wills having helicoptered in landing on a school field…stopped in for a spot of lunch with the kids at a scool near a hospital…if this was not a classic PR stunt I don’t know what is. I have to laugh cause Lola has pointed out how cheap he is…he is sinking to eating a school lunch paid for by taxpayers…his darn near whole life is one big freebie.

    1. I laughed at William’s PR stunt too.

      I even heard the Queen in my head say derisively, “That is a stunt!” She hates stunts.

  16. Yes, blatant PR but it’s working…almost all comments are saying back off of William, he’s a great lad. So naive!

  17. Hi Lola,

    Several posts ago, we had a conversation about what all the royal cousins do, and you mentioned that you didn’t really know what it is that Peter Philips does. i meant to reply to that post, but life took over and i forgot until i saw the attached article.


    in a nutshell, he seems to be an events organiser. Whilst the charities will be charged to attend, his company will be paid an undisclosed fee.

    this does and doesn’t surprise me because he once worked at a bank, then i heard he had a sports agency that represents Zara and Mike’s interests, then i heard that he was an events organiser specialising in sports events, so i guess we can add party planner to the list.

    at the end of the day, he uses his royal relations to work AND he lives on Gatcombe. As he is low key or rather the press hasn’t decided to use him as click bait, it is ignored that he is just as much a dilettante and user of royal resources as the other royal cousins.

    1. Well, no surprise that Peter Phillips will exploit his royal connections, especially since he sold photographic rights to his own wedding: not classy, Pete! The saving grace is that we don’t have him thrust in our faces too often.

      If charity workers were invited for free it would be a lovely and appropriate gesture on the part of HM. But more than likely, it will be well-heeled social climbers and corporate types hoovering up the golden tickets. I’m starting to visualise the now grown-up obnoxious children from Willy Wonka now strutting down The Mall…

      1. Well, it’s all about her Maj, isn’t it? It’s not enough that the peons spent millions for her jubilee, but now she wants homage paid for her 90th. She does relish celebrating herself these days, always at the cost to others. That is a steep price for tickets. I thought celebrations are free. Anything else is something else. Phillips has a conflict of interest and is exploiting his position. The entire BRF is corrupt, entitled and sneaky.

        1. Do you think it’s a case of HM wanting to celebrate her 90th or the men behind the throne and others wanting to have a national moment? Things like this can bring people together and give them something to celebrate as part of their heritage.

          Daisy in Denmark has yearly celebrations that occur over multiple nights for her birthdays. It’s not like every year HM is asking people to shell out money to have a party with her. I’ll have to cut her some slack on this one. I’m not crazy about them charging so much for the event, but 90 is one heck of a milestone.

          Personally I think that given her druthers, the Queen would have a quiet dinner with her family instead of watching thousands of people party.

        2. If I were a charity, I would be selling all my allotted tickets to the highest bidder in order to pocket the difference between the fixed price and the price paid by the bidder in order to sit in the Mall. Despite the 40% maximum non-charity limit, I would make all ticket buyers accept that they are reps of my charity and require that they wear sashes promoting my charity at the event. So, HM gets the charity rep at her self-aggrandizing event and my charity gets funds they need. Can’t imagine that any charity hasn’t already thought of this.

  18. Princess charlene and lbert in vatican, she looks fabulous, charlene has the stamina, grace to rise to any occassion without dissappointing,

  19. Princess Charlene had at least 2 inches of makeup on, I couldn’t decide if she was acting or genuinely sad, what was up with that, and bright red lipstick to meet the Pope!

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