Prince William Does Disappointing Kate Middleton Impression

Prince William stepped in for Kate Middleton on St. Patrick’s Day distributing shamrocks to the Irish Guards.  This was basically Kate’s one tradition that was hers since joining the British Royal Family and she decided to stay at home with her kids, nannies, staff and likely her Mum Carole.  Because reasons.

At this point, I think we can all safely assume that the Cambridge’s Communications Secretary, Jason Knauf, is dead.  Like crossed-over-into-the-light dead because any earth-bound  spin doctor spirit would  have  found a way to make the walls bleed, “Do not disrespect the military.”  If Jason is still alive, he’s sitting aboard a superyacht purchased for him by the Republican party,  melting Lego Prince William and Lego Kate Middleton with an Acme evil death ray, texting Dr. No, “Told Kate it’s ok to blow off Irish Guards, LOL” and creating fake Twitter accounts to screw with royal photographers.


There is no other logical explanation.

The public outrage over Kate breaking with 115 years of royal tradition was as to be expected.



As these screen grabs from the Daily Mail show, Prince William did his best Kate Middleton impression.  He did the teeth.



He did the weird over-the-top expressions that likely psychologically scarred small children (although that might just be his face).


Crikey, that’s terrifying.

But he just couldn’t master Kate’s bouncing wiglet-on-a-stick gait.  And I don’t think anyone cared what shoes he was wearing.

Domhnall, the Irish Wolfhound, appeared to be relieved to be spared Kate’s clumsy attempts to attach the shamrocks.  William simply handed Domhnall’s bunch to his handler to avoid a situation like last year when Domhnall appeared to be desperately scanning the crowds for someone to call PETA.   There was a marked difference between Domhnall’s body language this year with William and last year with Kate.



Even for a pathologically lazy duchess, skipping this engagement is baffling.  Proving to the public she is unwilling to participate in tradition which is the whole reason the monarchy still exists is a poor strategy.  Slighting those who serve their country is unforgivable.  Voluntarily dropping out of an event with attractive men in uniform is just stupid and against almost everything I personally hold sacred.  I think Kate  has a scheduled engagement today maybe, opening some shop for EACH or burning down a children’s cancer ward.  It’s kind of hard to pretend to care about a public figure who can’t be bothered pretending to care about the public.


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78 thoughts on “Prince William Does Disappointing Kate Middleton Impression”

  1. Exactly!! Gorgeous puppy, handsome uniformed men – this would be an awesome event. What the eff is going on with this woman?!

    1. I don’t know but I will happily travel to London once every year to take care of that for her. And I would bring Domhnall treats because OMG, he is so freakin’ cute.

  2. Again Lola you have summed this up so articulately. .
    its so disgusting that Lazy Katy has not done the duty for these hardworking men in uniform .. What this arrogant child woman is so not understanding this is what she signed up for when joining the BRF… No she thinks its a constant fashion parade.. so why arn’t this pair kicked out and told to go work for their own living
    they wouldnt last two days ….This is so disgraceful especially for the regiment..

  3. Love your post as always! Right on the money and great pointing-out of Will’s manic play on Kate. Maybe he should have wore court shoes. The excuses are ridiculous, especially when if they were living at KP right now with Amner as their 6 month home rather than permanent, Kate could have done this event and then home to the kiddies for shamrock fun. I have a hard time believing she’s really such a doting mother so it’s at headshake level. RIP Jason

  4. She’s disgusting. Run Jason Run if you haven’t already done so.
    Your career is going down the toilet

  5. All snark aside, I honestly think that Kate has an increasingly serious mental health issue, possibly post natal depression which nobody knows how to deal with, least of all her clueless husband. Her brittle demeanour at recent and rare public appearances has been very obvious and when she isn’t remembering to use her rictus fake “keen” smile she just looks very detached and unhappy. William has all the empathy and patience with her predicament as you might expect from a man child who’s only experience dealing with an emotionally needy, insecure manipulator was trying to keep his mother reasonably sane and he resents having to do it again.

    The BRF’s solution to dealing with members with serious mental health problems is to allow them to hide from public scrutiny ( see Duchess of Kent) so perhaps we shouldn’t be too puzzled why the same thing seems to be happening with Kate.

    1. I wonder if she is fed up with the realities of life in the fishbowl with Prince Charming? No matter how compliant and accommodating she has been, Kate is a woman like any other who finally reaches the end point of taking everyone’s crap. Maybe William was upbraiding her about this and that on the shamrock thing, and she said, “Do it your damn self!”

  6. Waity is simply pointless, william should have dated more, the midds fake happy family plus cheese toast from scarole really made him that blind,, !!!!

  7. Yeah something is going on that’s for sure…Jason should be sending them out and PRing the crap out of these 2…but nothing. I don’t think she is preggers…william says no to anymore it sounds. Maybe that is why she is keen about mental illness all of a sudden. I’m shocked. That puppy looks so cute –so sad she botched something as simple as attaching some shamrocks!

    1. I think Kate is at home because of the fact she only eats once a week so her legs don’t carry her today. Staying thin is hard work you know…

  8. I thought William looked happier sans Kate.

    The dog definitely looked happier!

    BTW, did Nightwing want shamrocks too after seeing Domhnall with his?

      1. They’ve always done better solo, dual engagements make both tense up even more than usual. William did fewer angry fist clenches on St. Patty’s Day. Not sure why there were any at all, though, that engagement is pretty much as easy-breezy as it gets and there’s always a convivial air to it.

  9. You are on fire this week with another great post. Those pictures of Whiny are just scary – I guess a uniform doesn’t really make a man handsome. But seriously, if Kate has some mental illness, why not just suck it up and disclose it rather than risking all of this negative publicity?

    1. Thanks, Jennifer! William is one of those rare exceptions where a uniform doesn’t automatically increase sex appeal. I don’t think Kate is mentally ill, pathological laziness isn’t medically recognized.

  10. Great stuff, Lola! I loved that post!
    The teeth baring manic moment is truly terrifying , he looks as if he is about to take a bite out of that small child!
    Even in uniform he looks like a buck eejit!
    What a bloody plonker!

    1. He does have a bit of an over bite and huge bunny teeth…not sure why he is reluctant to get to a dentist given how the are suppose to be high profile…kate certainly fixed her teeth.

  11. “Ugh.” … That’s all I’ve got.

    Lola, someone commented on the latest Kate (opening the charity shop in Norfolk today) article in the Daily Mail, that the Middletons split last Autumn. I’ve always had my suspicions they’re no longer together as Carole seems to be doing a lot more things alone with Pippa, Kate and James, plus the pictures she is seen in with Michael (such as at the tennis) look very staged – he looks miserable! – but I haven’t heard anything officially. Have you?

  12. Well, I think I sorted out the real reason as to why she couldn’t attend the shamrock giving ceremony. She had to wash her hair ! No, really. She had her hair done. t’s quite evident in the pictures from her school visit today. I I suppose this is why she wore the big gray hat for the Common Wealth service. She looks like she had some subtle highlights put in. What a disgrace.

    1. I’m actually mentioning the hair thing in my next post. At least Kate had a good reason to be so disrespectful to the Irish Guards, she had to get her hair done.

  13. PS: William reminds me of a former boss I had. He’d scheme and plot behind the scenes to get rid of people he didn’t like or who weren’t performing and hit them with a nasty surprise out of the blue. I think he told Kate she wasn’t going to do this event … or, more likely, he probably told her not to worry about doing this event … because he knew it would make her look bad. He probably had her comment about not wanting to be seen to give out the Shamrocks every year made up, and leaked to the press. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I suspect there’s something big going on behind the scenes with this lot.

        1. Are you sure Ben shouldn’t be looking out for Larry Ellison’s henchmen trying to bore holes in the bottom of Ben’s boat as well?

  14. Bouncing wiglet -on -a -stick gait. That’s gold, Lola, gold!

    I think the BRF is purposely shutting out the world and simply ignoring any and all press and doing what they will. After all, they are the BRF, and no one is going to dictate the terms on which they choose to live their lives. Hasn’t it always been this way, most especially with the younger generations? Bred in the bone arrogance and the belief they are divinely chosen.
    There very well may be some issues with Kate. Post partum possibly, but even the amount of stress from being part of the whole push/pull life. Yes, she knew what she was signing up for…on paper and through innuendo. Certainly not what it’s become. No way in hell any able minded person is saying “ya, sign me up” to this ratf**k. This may be wildly unpopular, and I astonish myself by feeling it, but I do feel sorry for her. It was all fun and games and looking like a Barbie Doll and a love affair with the press and public at first. This is hellish, I’m sure, and I lay it at William’s door at this point. Just stop hiding behind the walls of your castles like you’re under siege from the very people who pay for the security on your family holidays. People just want the truth. And it’s a good thing to appear human, right?

  15. Workshy Willy’s smile is more of a grimace than a smile. There’s even a photo of him jutting out his lower jaw like Waity.

    Waity spent way more time getting ready for her photo op at EACH today than her meagre visit of 35 minutes. It astonishes me how she is able to act as if everything is copacetic with the public. How does she do that without tranquillisers? It was another useless appearance.

    Where IS Jason? Why are there no leaks, not sightings of anyone, no gossip about what’s happening with their PR or anything else? Why would anyone be loyal to the likes of them?

    I wish this post-partum speculation would die. She seems to have no problem looking chirpy when she’s hanging out at Wimbledon or with Ben Ainslie. Her one mental health issue is that she is pathologically lazy and yet that is less acceptable than depression to excuse everything about her. SMH.

    1. I also doubt she has postpartum depression or there’s anything wrong with her that wasn’t a problem before she got married. During the Waity-ing years when she was encouraged by the Palace to be seen doing something, she would express interest in working with charities and then wouldn’t bother calling them back or returning their phone calls. Kate’s just not into that whole effort thing.

      1. I’ve come to the conclusion that Kate is just too self absorbed to notice anything that doesn’t affect her directly.

  16. Why would HM condone Kate’s appalling absence from St. Patrick’s Day? I would think somebody high up there would have some say—unless they’re all off their meds and are spinning out of control.

    1. I wonder that as well. Until I remember that her maj protects her fave, Andy, at all costs from his perverse lifestyle. If she can do that, then why would it stop at Andy.

      Having now seen how she covers up, having seen the corruption and entitlement across the entire family, I hope it all takes a dirt nap after she does. I think her maj only cares about her lineage and keeping it alive and she certianly doesn’t care about how it’s done. They are the British mafia, IMO.

      1. British mafia sounds like it–oh that’s great! But you’re right, Will is her fave too. Not surprised if she’s enabling that lazy twerp.

      2. The Queen’s priority is to keep her family’s privilege and status intact at any cost. It’s dressed up and sentimentalised as duty, tradition, and providing stability to a nation. But it’s self-interest writ large, pure and simple.
        It truly baffles me that people buy the ‘royal’ narrative; surely the concept belongs in the remainder bin. Why should the forelock be tugged to anyone, let alone to a family that, despite immense privilege and opportunities, spectacularly under-achieves?
        The latest William-Kate debacle serves up a big dollop of stupidity and arrogance to the public. This manipulative pair keep upping the ante in the disrespect they show the public. I have better things to feel sorry for than these two; they are the nasty result of being over-privileged, not being held to account, and never being told ‘no’. Being really stupid doesn’t help either.

    2. It seems that the Queen tries hard to understand the women who marry into her family, to a point. And then when some of them don’t assimilate into being suitable Royals the Queen steps
      back and allows these folks to self-destruct by their own hands. It really is an excellent method of management. If you notice, then, the erring women end up leaving the Royal family by death, divorce, or being shunned. Really, the Queen’s approach is brilliant.

      1. Ohhhhh, that is very very interesting Wallis. I can totally see that from this dysfunctional family. That will also send Carole into a tailspin straight to the loony bin.

      2. What a fantastic perspective! Yes, I could definitely see that being the case … and yes, it is brilliant.

      3. Her Majesty has a laissez-faire approach to familial matters and is said to give people enough rope with which to hang themselves. I’m not sure if it’s the best strategy with the Limpet, though, the clinging is strong with that one.

  17. Hello Lola,
    I have been reading your posts and think they are witty and mostly likely too close to the truth for the Cambridge couples comfort.
    I too wonder where Jason is, although most likely he is doing a “Where’s Waldo?” impression and is right where he always is – banging his head against his desk because while they may listen to his counsel, they never really hear it.
    As far as Kate goes, I doubt she is suffering from much more than lazyitus and ego. She has a chronic case of both and has been called out on both by Queen Elizabeth herself year’s ago.
    Although, I do have to wonder if the ever present presence of Carole has worn extremely thin, setting nerves on edge and Anmer is feeling just a little small.

    1. Thanks, Elizabeth! Carole’s presence has caused tension with staff, but Kate has been called a Mummy’s Girl since Marlborough and I think Kate wants Carole around, she appears to be stuck in adolescence. I don’t know how William feels about the omnipresent Carole, but it’s been suggested to me he’s not home as much as one would assume (where he actually spends his time remains a mystery to me, though, and is something I hope to one day discover the answer to). William’s circle finds the level of Carole’s involvement in their home life which predates Anmer Hall to be strange.

  18. Wouldn’t it have been a nice option to take Prince George along on this venture, so the public could actually have see him as more than a generic Kodak cute kid, and he could have pet the cute doggy into the bargain?

    1. That would have been an amazing way to get back in the public’s good books. And George would love it too, I’m sure – what kid wouldn’t?

      #VoteSnugglesToReplaceJason 🙂

      1. Aww, thanks T! I suddenly find myself entirely willing to give up any and all morals or personal principles for a much fatter paycheck!

    2. Alas, the Cambridges don’t seem to want the people to form any kind of bond with the future king (I don’t think George will ever be king, though). William is too much of a control freak to allow George at this kind of engagement, especially since there are people there with cameras.

  19. The deal was this: Kannot has two kids as Willnot said she had to do. After the two kids, she would have 5 years after the birth of the youngest child to stay at home and be a part of their very young lives. She would be required to appear at engagements that included HM or where she and Willnot were repping the HM. All other appearances were at her discretion, not the BRF’s. And so she picks and chooses her engagements leaving Willnot to fly his medicopter, perform investitures, and make nice-nice with the troops. It’s simple. After Charlotte reaches age 6, the public appearance will be renegotiated. In the meantime, Kannot gets to travel to some far-flung countries on ‘official’ business and mingles as little as possible in the UK. What a deal!

    1. Is this a guess or something you know to be fact? If the latter, did TQ and POW agree to it or just William?

      1. Oh, it’s just a guess but it sounds plausible.
        I should have put the at the end of the post.

        1. It’s not that far off. It’s pretty well PU lush ed wills made negotiations with his father and grandmother for less royal work with the idea that when charles assumes the throne he/Waity would step up the royal responsibility. This way the Cambridges don’t Steele Chuck and Cam’s thunder before they get to the throne. Keep in mid charles is the guy who became jelouse of Di for her popularity. He is not going thru that with his son. They are exposed just enough I suspect. It also give Will the time he wants not being completely royal…to raise his kids.

          1. I can’t imagine the queen and Charles agreed to £10m renovations, only to let them hide away in Norfolk avoiding the inevitable.
            The whole eaaa + raising kids business is complete nonsense.
            People work and are away from their kids everyday. Not to mention, all of the other royals seem to have managed it just fine.

            It boils down to William not wanting to do royal duties and wanting total privacy.

            People who believe there is an agreement and the Cambridges will step up are only kidding themselves.

            Even, William doesn’t see his son as the future of the monarchy, he thinks he’ll bum around Africa when he is older.

            1. What Kip said.

              There are so many clues in interviews given by William in the past ten years that say in no uncertain terms that he is doing this his way, avoiding his duties, and anyway the oldies can keep doing the duties because he is off living his other non royal life.

              There is no indication that an agreement has been reached. There is a lot o evidence that William always meant to live like this. It’s inexplicable to people, so plausible excuses are forever being created by the public to excuse it.

              The often used excuse is that Charles doesn’t want to compete with William, but that doesn’t make sense because Charles needs his own heirs to be popular in order to solidify his own reign. He isn’t as popular as he should be or even once was, so if h heir is equally unpopular, why would the public keep the monarchy when all they have to look forward to is more unlikeable monarchs?

              People also don’t see what a human reaction to Diana’s popularity Charles had, and simply beat him over the head with it as if they would have done better.

              Think of the circumstances. Imagine you are raised as a the most important person after the Queen. As near a diety in human terms as it’s possible to be. Prince of Wales from the time you were 3yrs old, everybody acquiescing to you, be they relations or the public. Even the difficulties in your life eg being bullied at school, women dating you etc are all predicated on your being THE most important person in the world after the Queen. No one ever counter-balances that view. Perhaps if he had attended Eton as his granny wished, he might have had some measure of balance since he would have met other princes, crown princes, extremely wealthy scions to counterbalance his sense of his own importance.

              And when he went into the world, crowds celebrated him as the most important person in the world.

              The point being that until the grand old age of 32yrs old, Charles was brainwashed into thinking he was the most important person in the world.

              Diana was a reality check on that view. To make matters worse, she didn’t have a talent that could explain her popularity.

              Nevermind that his popularity was also based on nothing, the only counterbalance to his own importance was talent. Famous or popular people that he met had a talent and that’s why they acquired fame.

              Diana’s popularity came from the public, not from spin doctors or media. It was and remains baffling. As baffling as Kim Kardashian’s fame when compared to Cate Blanchett even though they are both in entertainment.

              Until that point, Charles had never considered his own fame. And for the first time had to hustle to make people like him even with the title.

              It must have been as irritating for him as people are irritated by reality stars gaining fame without much work when others are working so hard and for so long for nought.

              And worse, crowds would act visibly and vocally disappointed to see him rather than Diana. Going from adulation to people telling you they are disappointed to see you isn’t something anyone can react to with grace.

              William was brought up the same way, but William had a measure of reality by attending Eton and not being as exposed to the adulation as Charles was.

              Charles’s reaction wasn’t a good one, but who would react positively in those circumstances? However, even with his negative reaction, he became a more considerate person because he finally realised that his position couldn’t be taken for granted.

              Something that William has yet to realise. Even with the Eton education, he thinks *he* is always right. He considers himself a prince before anything else. Nevermind that this is a made up thing upheld by disney fairytales. Being a prince, he thinks he is above others, and he has yet to experience his own Diana reality check.

              1. What Herazeus said.

                Also as a side note, despite Princess Diana’s popularity, the royal hierarchy is always maintained by staff. Charles always had top billing in their marriage behind Palace walls. Diana becoming a worldwide phenomena wasn’t just something Prince Charles struggled with, Princess Diana had problems coming to terms with being so publicly adored but then always coming in second at home.

                William surrounded himself with yes friends long before he started hiring yes men. Then he married a yes woman who came with a yes family. When his reality check comes, I imagine Prince William will react the same way he does when real check arrives, he’ll just ignore it with the assumption someone else will pay.

  20. Read somewhere online thst they had a leak to say Carole was now always at Anmer calling shots.. and her husband nowhere to be seen … rather questions if they are still the united family they are always pretending to be ….
    thought waity looked awful at charity shop opening way to short a coat when she was bending over showing all her legs again they are so thin she looks very frail type of thin skin and bones..
    and its not from hard work thats for sure
    Princess Anne was at Cheltenham Races with Zara and they looked so smart and were not even shown on television and they work so tirelessly all the time
    They are not given the credit they deserve from media for all their achievements. .

  21. Once again, if they want to seem modern and to endear themselves to the taxpayer, why not bring one or both children along occasionally? I bet Prince George would have liked to meet a nice pooch like Domhnall.

    1. The Swedish royals do the “kid meeting the public” thing really well. Victoria and Daniel have been taking Estelle with them to engagements for years. Even Madeleine introduced little Leonor to their guests at the children’s tea party she held at the palace a little while ago. It would have been fine to take George along on St Paddy’s Day. George would have seen the soldiers in uniform, could have handed out a few shamrocks and it would have made for brilliant photos.
      Maybe next year

      1. Crown Princess Victoria and Prince Daniel balance public and private life better than any other royal couple in my opinion. They accommodate public interest and prepare Estelle well for royal life while also allowing her to have a happy childhood. I really wish they would teach classes on raising royal children.

  22. They both really think that they are above the public opinion about their pampered lifestyle and just living the lazy life ..
    making excuses about wanting a normal life … we think they should have all the privilige taken from them until they prove that they are worthy of having title and position
    It really has brought shame on the word monarchy as they are not the same as other members of family that have a constant workload

  23. Hi Guys,

    I’m a long time lurker and this is my first time commenting. I’m from over at Duchess or Diva.

    Are we sure Jason even exists? Has anyone seen “Jason” in person? I’m asking because I’m certain no PR in existence could allow the madness that the Lamebridges have shown us in the past few weeks. Maybe Jason is a name Kate calls Bill to spice things up in the bedroom. So then when he needed a fake PR name Jason seemed like the natural choice since he already answers to it. Then they had to make the fake PR american so that no one in the UK could confirm they never heard of him or that he doesn’t really exist. Guys “Jason” has to be William. Wills has been doing his own PR all along.

    Obviously, I’m grasping at straws but there can’t be any other explanation. No one PR could really be this terrible at their job, could they?

    Btw Lola, I really love your humour.

    1. Thanks LEMB and welcome! Oh, I’ve wondered myself if maybe Jason is an actor hired to play their Communications Secretary, but supposedly he’s real. The fact that we’re all musing alternate theories shows just how far off track the Cambridge train has gone.

  24. Gosh the Daily Mail have a well written article about Waity saying she is failing as a Duchess .. Have they all just realised this
    this is from the beginning she is an absolute fool…who cannot talk properly in public…
    so pleased she is being openly critiscisied now in media
    they deserve no place in monarchy as so lazy ….

  25. I thought I would add just read that William is quoted as saying he doesnt care what the public think .it will not change the way he does things.. He really is arrogant if he thinks the public will put up with their extravagant and non working life..The other Royals have managed tbeir children and Duty to our Country witnout all this privacy issues he is constantly moaning about.As far as Waity is concerned she needs to be told you waited all these years to get into this BRF so get on and work for your living not constantly be a scrounger on tax payers money
    Roll on A Republic and get these over bearing pair of fools out ..

  26. IMO the BRF are silly to let this be dragged out any further, sack the lazy duo and start salvaging some reputation before the poor Queen and Duke of Edinburgh depart this earth. For all their faults, they’ve been very hardworking. What humiliation they endure at the hands of this selfish pair!

  27. My first visit to your blog. I think I’m in love. Love the humor, don’t miss the fawning, stalkerish obsession (I think you know to what blog I am referring…).

    1. Thank you so much and welcome, lawgirlNYC! I hope one day I do get to fawn over Kate doing something warranting praise since that would mean the people of the UK are getting some value for their money, she just hasn’t done anything gush-worthy in my opinion as of yet and the bar of expectation is set pretty low this point.

    2. You should go back and read prior blogs. They are all good. Some are so funny I laugh from the first paragraph to the last sentence.

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