Kate Middleton, Serial Tour Flasher

Prince William and Kate Middleton will be departing on Saturday night for their royal tour of India and Bhutan and will arrive on Sunday Morning, a little before 11am.

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There was a handy little guide on Twitter with the time differences broken down:

RoyalTourTimeDifference

This will be Kate’s fourth official royal tour since joining the Firm five years ago.  Kate’s first foreign solo tour to Malta was canceled in September 2014 because of Kate’s special brand of Hyperemesis Gravidarum and the brief December 2014 trip to New York City wasn’t considered an official tour.  To date, Kate has yet to officially represent the UK on tour without having a major wardrobe malfunction.

This post will be dedicated to Kate’s biggest international flashing incidents.  For all who do not want to see Kate exposed, please abandon blog.  Even if you think you can get through this without hearing the lambs scream, you might want to get a set of pearls to clutch just in case.

Kate’s long history of premarital flashing has been well-established.  At Marlborough, Kate was known as Kate Middlebum for pulling down her pants to moon boys in a bid to become more popular.  During the Waitying Years, she continued to hone her exhibitionist streak to the point it was common knowledge that she did not wax or shave her bikini area.

KatePreMaritalFlashes

Since marriage, Kate has been protected as a member of the royal family by the UK press.  Some of Kate’s lesser so-called Marilyn Moments have been published with the far more revealing snaps never seeing the light of day in accordance with the gentleman’s agreement the press has with the British Royal Family.  Abroad, there is no such deal which is why when Kate leaves the UK, the public gets to see a side of Kinky Kate that gets buried by the antiquated practices of her own country.

Canada & US Tour- June-July 2011

Newly duchessed, Kate arrived on July 7th at the Calgary airport with her hubby of two and a half months, Prince William.   Kate’s lightweight primrose yellow Jenny Packham dress was no match for the strong gusts typically found around aircraft.  With her hem lifting, Kate reached instinctively to save her extensions and not her modesty.

KateCalgaryHair

Kate met with a child, Diamond Marshall,  who had cancer and wanted to meet a “a real princess”.  To be fair to Diamond, her first choice was actually Aurora at Disneyland but Kate was going to be in the neighborhood so proximity played a factor there.  But Diamond did get to give Kate presents.

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Kate didn’t seem to mind who she flashed at the Calgary airport.

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Just as long as they were there to see it and they were men.  Oh, and that kid with cancer.

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South East Asia & South Pacific Tour – September 2012

The tour had some eyebrow raising fashion moments, like the golden embroidered Alexander McQueen dress  that showed a bit too much décolletage at the Malaysia State Dinner.

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Then there was the culturally insensitive knee-length Beulah London dress Kate wore to the Assyakirin Mosque which should have covered her legs in their entirety.

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To be fair, Kate seemed to be copying Princess Diana who wore a longer dress than Kate but also didn’t get it right.

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Minor points,though, since earlier that morning at breakfast William and Kate were informed that Kate had been photographed sunbathing topless during their pre-tour secret getaway to France for which they ditched the closing ceremonies of the Paralympics.

katetoplesscensored

Laurence Pieau’s defense of publishing the photos can be seen in a video contained in this Daily Mail article.  The editor notes, “I won’t hide the fact that there are far more intimate pictures that exist that we haven’t published and we won’t publish.”

On the way home from the nine day South East Asia & South Pacific Tour on September 19th, the Cambridges passed through Brisbane where Kate struggled with the lightweight floaty Project D Penelope dress.  The wind introduced itself to Kate as soon as she got off the plane to politely let her know it was there.

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The ensuing dress mayhem wasn’t a sudden windjacking, Kate was aware of the gusts, this wasn’t her first airport in a flimsy dress,  and yet not until the wind had already lifted her skirt to the sound of the approving shutter clicks from the photographers behind her that she attempted to make any real effort to keep her dress down.

At this point,  the back of the dress is up and yet her arms are still forward.

KateBrisbaneDressUpArmsForward

Then Kate finally grabs the back of skirt to try to keep it down.

KateBrisbaneFlash

That bit of white beneath the hem of the highest lifted part of her dress is the white thong Kate was wearing.  Strangely, after surviving one wave of the mothereffing Wind Apocalypse trying to tear her flimsy dress off her body while photographers snapped away, she started smiling and playing with the tie of her dress while the wind continued whip her dress around her legs like she was eight-years-old.

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Afterwards, Kate changed into jeans and a white top to continue the trip home.

KateBrisbaneJeans

The damage, however, was done.  Several media outlets went with the headline “Royal Tour Ends on a Bum Note”.

Nine days later even more revealing topless and bottomless photos from France came out.  Rumors suggest that most intimate of photos were not published.  Nothing erases memories of a tour like seeing someone naked, even if it’s a bit blurry. and the tantalizing prospect of some true royal naughtiness emerging some day.

New Zealand & Australia Tour – April 2014

With articles proclaiming Kate’s wardrobe would be more duchessy, with longer hemlines and weighted skirts, mere seconds into the tour, Kate managed to flash the press while winds lifted up her red Catherine Walker coat and revealed a small pair of bunched up white knickers.  Royal watchers noted she still didn’t wax or shave.

KateNewZealandAirportFlash

While at the Blue Mountains engagement, another flimsy floaty dress around a helicopter gave Kate a bum flash almost identical to the one she had at the Calgary Airport.   Local and amateur photographer, Diane Morel, took the photo which wound up in Bild and other outlets around the world.  But not in the UK because of the antiquated gentleman’s agreement that prohibits them from publishing embarrassing photos of their own royal family.

KateBareBumFlash

Kate wasn’t done yet.  A few days later she hit the trifecta at Adelaide and gave the disadvantaged youth of Adelaide an eyeful of duchess boob.

Kate wore a low-cut Alexander McQueen peplum top with a light nude plunging padded push-up bra, the bottom of which can be seen in this photo.

KateCleavageFlash

Kate did a lot of leaning over that day to talk to children and as part of the events.

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And apparently, Kate’s plunging padded push-up bra shifted around on her a bit.

But the crowd seemed enthusiastic.  Everyone thought it was going well.

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Well, a lot of the excitement was over the boys getting an eyeful of duchess boob.  At one point when she was seated, the boys were peaking down Kate’s plunging top, one kid there got a particularly sneaky shot of Kate’s bits with his camera phone and posted it on Facebook.  His Mom made him take it down and a local new station that wrote about it also quickly took their story down as well.  I guess they wanted to spare her the embarrassment not realizing Kate is a repeat offender.

Despite the time, money and great care that goes into planning these tours, each to date has been marred by at least one Kate wardrobe scandal, undoing in one snap all of the laborious logistical planning executed by the Cambridge’s extensive staff.  The last tour the public was promised a more regal modest duchess but even the best laid plans are no match for the flashing tendencies of Kate Middlebum.  She seems to be growing more prolific in her exhibitionist ways, so there’s no telling what the upcoming tour of India and Bhutan will hold.

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99 thoughts on “Kate Middleton, Serial Tour Flasher”

  1. Oh my, between this post and the DM article calling her out about her clothing, I’d be amazed if her advisors didn’t package her up head to toe in clothing for this tour.

    However, as it has already been publicly noted that Kate is in charge of her wardrobe for this tour I’m expecting more of the styling we were allowed to peek at during the cheese cracker and juice reception.

    I wonder if William has given her the “If one skirt blows up on this tour I’ll….” talk yet. If so it’s no wonder Kate’s been looking even more like a wounded puppy lately.

    Clutching progressed to gnashing the pearls between my teeth so I’ve already ingested nearly two strands of pearls from this tour and it hasn’t officially started yet.

    Looks like the gloves have come off publicly in the media Kate. I wish you luck and look forward to hours of entertainment.

    On a more serious note is it wrong for me to snicker throughout writing this comment? The human being side of me actually has moments of feeling sorry for her. Then the side that realizes she chased this lifestyle down and spends millions of pounds maintaining it kicks back in. I’d love to see her pull this tour off flawlessly but, sadly, I don’t think that is going to happen. *Sigh*

    1. It’s going to be very hot during this tour with a few 97 degree days so it’s possible we’re going to see more short flimsy dresses. I wonder if the Queen is covertly having 50lb weights sewn into the hem.

      It’s natural to feel bad for Kate at times, she’s a human being and I think the majority of people who follow her believe she has potential. I put bars over screen grabs of her on the French balcony because for me it’s still on the line, even though they should have known better and likely William did have some awareness of being visible from the road.

      Kate has a long history of flashing, though, going back to Marlborough with a couple of teachers confirming off the record Kate was a mooner (they couldn’t go on record because the school told all employees they were not to discuss Kate’s mooning).

      Once or twice is an accident, fourteen is exhibitionism.

      On the bright side, pearl powder is used in Chinese medicine and because of its benefits your skin is going to look fantastic!

  2. In Adelaide I believe Lola caught a picture that was released of William clearly repremanding katey. It was after the flashing if butt yet again, someone must have told him cause she was seen looking like a reprimanded child doing her crotch clutch and yet again pulling at her hair looking at the ground while dear Wills scowled at her. No Wills can be nasty…as I understand he’s not very patient and quick to be a hot head. That might explain why kate always looks concerned/worried/attentive to Wills when he is reprimanding George. Have seen that expression on her and her put her hand on Wills shoulder 2 or 3 times now…as if to remind him to steady, they are in public, the kid is a baby only. It happenend at the Christening and on the balcony with the queen I remember. Unfortunately no one like na midd is around to remind him to not take katys head off, she’s only an airhead.

    1. From what I remember, the conversation at the helicopter happened before they walked across the field (before the flashing).

      1. Either way she looked like he was giving her an ear full and he was displeased. But her actions clutching her front of her dress ..her body language was as if she had been caught flashing so I’m surprised if it is before.

  3. Well, the Queen of Bhutan is far more beautiful than Kate, and one must distinguish oneself somehow…….

  4. She’ll probably cause an International Incident flashing. Then harry will be sent next year to sort it all out !!!

  5. I think we’ve seen enough of her body to last a lifetime. Hopefully there will not be any flashing on this trip. I’m going to be most interested in the personal dynamics between these two, because they aren’t really very good actors.

  6. I was just sitting down to my breakfast when I checked your site and ack, I get an eyeful and detailed description of the nether regions (including hair) of the future Queen Consort!

    I hope she finally listens to public opinion and puts weights in those skirts. It can’t be difficult or expensive to do so I don’t know what her excuses are for these mishaps.

    I always loved how Diana wore clothes that mirrored the local customs wherever she went (especially when Catherine Walker designd the clothes). India has such beautiful clothes with vibrant colors, Kate could really wow us if she followed Diana’s example, fashion wise. Otherwise I don’t see the point of the visit. There doesn’t seem to much substantive activity on the tour, good pictures might be all we get out of it.

  7. Lola, I have a question. Are BRF ladies forbidden from wearing pants? Working with children and any moderate physical activity in a visit seem to necessatate pants. Also, separates add more functionality to your wardrobe.

    Also, Why don’t the Cambridges do more substantive work? Harry helped move debris and/or build a home in Bhutan. Prince Charles seems pretty knowledgeable on topics he speaks about, so I don’t get why the Cambridges are only shaking hands and doing walkabouts. Just curious as to your and your reader’s opinions, as an outsider.

    1. A high-fashion jumpsuit might be just the thing for Kate, stop her from flashing her lowers. Maybe she can’t control it.

    2. There are plenty of pictures of HM, Camilla, Anne, and Sophie wearing pants while working, Kate wants to show off her “amazing” legs.

      William and Kate’s tour is how they want it to be they help with the schedule that is why it is all fluff and Harry gets sent out the next year or 2 and does all the work.

    3. There’s a common misconception that Kate “has” to wear skirts and dresses because of Her Majesty.

      Her Majesty has only worn pants to one official engagement, but has appeared in public in pants on numerous occasions and wears them frequently in her private life. The Queen feels there’s a certain way she should look at events but has nothing against pants. She’s not a fan of jeans, though.

      Pants would be a wonderful option for Kate but she seems stuck in a jeggings mindset. Kate has a long torso and for some reason, she seems to favor very tight pants or dresses. Kate doesn’t stray from things she thinks she looks good in, there’s very little variety in her wardrobe despite its volume, she just buys new versions of things she already owns.

      Harry was working in Nepal and extended his tour to rebuild a school that was earthquake damaged (Bhutan is part of the upcoming tour for Prince William and Kate). It’s obvious Prince Harry truly cares about helping others while the Cambridges seem to be resentful of their role as public figures. Prince Charles is far more intelligent than he is portrayed as in the press and genuinely cares about helping people. I’ve watched old interviews of him and been shocked by how far ahead of his time he was.

    4. I just got a little giggle because “pants” means underwear in the UK. Maybe Kate got confused and thinks underwear is a Royal no no, hence all the vadge shots. Tee hee.

  8. Thank you for the post Lola!

    I can’t for my life understand why a grown woman shows off her private parts for the public to see. I never knew anyone with that behavior amongst schoolfriends, coworkers etc. And here we have Diana’s daughter in law doing this. And why why why doesn’t the queen do anything? Or anyone else?
    Sorry all for venting so strongly, I am shocked and nervous about this tour.

    1. I am with you Cecilia, never have I ever seen a anyone who flashed anyone.
      I think the Queen advised Kate to weight her hems, but Kate is stubborn and (I believe) is one of those people who hate to be told anything so when advised she gets the “You can’t tell me what to do attitude” and ignores advice.
      I remember an article directed at Kate about weighing her hems – they even used a look-alike and showed the effect of different amounts of weight. Still she refused.
      Kate is an exhibitionist plain and simple, she likes to show off her body parts and I believe she will continue to do so.

  9. They will definitely be another flashing episode, after all thats how she caught wills eye, she stil behaves like a booty call not a wife!!

  10. I am not going to defend KM behaviour! In this situation Bill has every right get angry with lazy waity! If any one exposed themselves to children, they would be charged as child molesters & put in prison! I am not a doctor so I do not know, if KM has a mental disorder? I am not accusing or labeling, maybe is something that they do not want people know? If we new what it is we would be sympathetic. How bill could have married Kate is beyond me! William made a big mistake! I hope KW do not go on this tour, Beatrice & Eugenie should take over the tour! Cellia I agree with you 100%! I am far from perfect, I would my hardest to succeed in my royal! I am not bragging about myself. WK are the laughingstock of the world! rant over.

    1. I have to agree with you. William, like everyone else is not perfect, but can you imagine how many times they have had conversations about her flashing? It must be incredibly
      frustrating to have the same behavior occur over and over.
      These two are both stubborn and grew up being their every wish ans whim catered to; it may be simplistic but it seems to be a battle of wills and so far, Kate is refusing any advice on her wardrobe.
      In the debate over Kate’s wardrobe, I side with anyone but her. She appears to ignore advice, refuse guidance, and put little or only a brief passing thought into the appropriateness of her outfit to the venue.

  11. I see your point re showing the various incidents of Kate’s kilt-lifting, but there is a line between decency and not, and I believe you crossed with the red dress, and noting on the unshaved nature of her privates.

    While showing bum is one thing — and you can see those all over the world on the beaches — showing the front part is an affront. This is a fun blog, and I hope you can keep it in good taste.

    1. Oops! You must have missed reading the warning that Lola provided at the beginning of her post.

    2. Also, that photo of the red coat/dress blow up is out there in the public domain. It’s not like she dug it up from some nefarious site.

    3. It is Kate herself who crossed the line on decency, and let photos of her private parts pop up on every google search on her. Lola is just discussing the topic. Kate has been going on for 10 years or longer with feeding the press and world these photos. We cannot pretend that we have not seen them.

    4. Normally pubic hair isn’t a topic I particularly enjoy discussing (like when I read an article and it mentions a historical fact like how in the 18th century locks of pubic hair were treasured souvenirs from lovers, I think, “Eww gross”), but in this case, I included it because Kate Middleton is a part of the British Monarchy’s history (possibly its final chapter). This post was really about showing what Kate has put on display as an official representative of the United Kingdom and the British Monarchy on taxpayer-funded tours. Normally it is not spotted on beaches around the world, and that’s why it’s unfathomable that so many people have seen Kate’s.

  12. Lola how spot on you are on every occasion!
    I had the very dubious pleasure of being on honeymoon with those two. Her, no manners, rude and him passable but a distinct lack of anything remarkable except her rudeness, extraordinary.
    I was predisposed to like her but what a disappointment and subsequent events have done nothing to alter my view.

    On a brighter note I loved Nightwing in his special ears, adorable. He is a gorgeous pooch. Gerry

      1. Hi Harla, just a fluke. We go to North Island in the Seychelles every year and they were there, arrived the same day. Spoiled our holiday as we were under constant scrutiny by their protection officers and the navy.
        Gerry

    1. How were you on a honeymoon at the same time? Just coincidence? I am so curious… did you see them often and what did she do that made her rude, no manners? If people see the real her at times, I wish the true stories would come out:(. Sorry for all the questions. I just like details from people who have met them and not the fawning articles. Thanks

    2. Thank you, Gerry. I’d love to hear details from your honeymoon as would the rest of this community. I hope you’ll decide to share some of your encounter with the Cambridges with us!

      1. Hi Lola and you lovely people out there.
        We saw them every day on a very small island, up close and personal abut she never once said good morning, just tossed the ringlets and turned her back. I was brought up to be polite and gracious to all, never look down on someone and don’t let anyone do that to you, so I was shocked by her ignorance.
        He was friendly but awkward.
        As you do we tried to respect their privacy and to stay out of their way as much as we could possibly manage but her rudeness was palpable. We were joined later in the week by a gorgeous American family and their South African guides all of whom were shocked by her behaviour. Dragging him off so they didn’t have to speak to us, looking askance at anyone who had a camera.. If they had not wanted contact with anyone else why did they not go to a completely private retreat.? We relish privacy too but not rudeness.

        Gerry

        1. Wow, that is rude. Just a simple ‘good morning’ would have gone a long way.

          I was first row in the crowds when they visited Auckland and she was all smiles and light conversation, but she seemed to be somewhere else in her mind … she just seemed a bit robotic.

          I don’t like William AT ALL. He just gives me a really weird vibe … even when he was a little kid he seemed to be full of himself.

          Harry, on the other hand, is an absolute delight (met him after a Powhiri [Maori welcoming] on his recent trip) – but a true people person and just a lovely, lovable man. He would be far better suited to the role of King one day.

        2. Wow. I don’t understand Kate. If I was in her position and on my honeymoon, I would have walked over and greeted everyone, gotten names and sent over food. Maybe even pose with the families for photos. It would take less than half an hour, be gracious and bring a lot of joy to people who like to meet famous people. As their honeymoon and lifestyle is paved for by the taxpayers, its the least she could do, out of gratitude. If Kate had to get a job and support herself, she’d be homeless within a week. She’s a welfare Queen and that’s as Royal as she gets.

  13. Lola, Your sense of the absurdity that is Kate Middleton is always fun to read. Your writing is excellent!

  14. OMG, Lola, I absolutely love your posts. This one was quite eye-opening! I hadn’t realized Waity had done that much flashing, my goodness! I’m amazed no one at the palace has had a word with her about her wardrobe snafus. And it’s interesting that the French paper that printed topless photos say they have more revealing pics that they haven’t shown! Ooh, wonder what they’re of? Maybe the couple making some royal whoopee?

    1. Supposedly there are photos of Kate and William having sex. I’ve never seen the photos so I don’t know if it’s true, but allegedly there are photos of Kate performing oral sex on William and some very grainy pictures of them having sex indoors where you can tell it’s likely them and get a general idea of what they’re probably doing but it’s very fuzzy. One thing of note about the rumor is that allegedly at one point, William was looking out at the road and must have decided what they were doing in plain sight wasn’t smart and he pulled Kate up and they went inside. For me those photos are on the line of invasion of privacy but I found that part of the rumor interesting because it suggests William was aware they might be visible from the road which means there was no expectation of privacy. But again, I didn’t see the photos and there are a shocking number of people who claim William is a shape-shifting reptile so you never know (I mean about rumors in general, I’m positive William isn’t a shape-shifting reptile… if he could assume other forms, why would he intentionally choose to look like Prince William? Makes no sense.)

      1. So not only were they apparently ‘doing it’ visible from the road but presumably their security detail and staff were around as well? Classy!

        Well we all know Chutney gets off on flashing in public but this takes things to a whole new level.

          1. Which is why Kate is a more suitable name than Catherine…?
            Great post, as always; couldn’t stop snickering. Is that mean? I can deal with the bum and tit flashing but had to avert my eyes when it came to the red coat, or rather what was underneath it. At least over breakfast on the Sabbath.
            Some people have an insatiable desire for attention and Kate is one of them. She really does get off on her body. I have concluded that Kate suffers from arrested development. She still thinks she’s young enough for this to be considered cute, but not so much. Those days are well behind her. It all just smacks of being a teensy bit desperate.

      2. Seriously? How stupid can be they? Anyone famous should know better. They are lucky those photos where never published. The ones they did publish were pretty tame, which from the sound of it, was lucky. Being as famous as they are, they should know they can never be too careful.

      3. Whoa, so those very naughty pics are “out there” somewhere. I wonder if they’ll ever surface. That’s a terrible invasion of privacy, but who has sex in view of a road? Guess they didn’t think first. I wonder if Waity really does have some flasher tendencies- I couldn’t figure out why she would want those ugly, pointy chest cones on her wedding dress, now I’m thinking this was her way of showing her booblets without actually showing them?

      4. Hi Lola
        Thanks for the run down on the fly ups. That warning was probably necessary as even though I was aware just how much we got to see of Kate it still is going to give me nightmares tonight. It’s beyonme why her mother didn’t take her aside and tell her to stop flashing her private parts? Carole must have been aware of the flashing at school? I’m sure the teachers would have told Kate’s parents? As for the rumour of open air sex,it doesn’t surprise me as Kate appears to be the sort of lass that will offer up sex whenever, where ever if she feels her man’s attention is slipping. Thank heavens William pulled that little side show inside. I feel for the staff and the security who had to view any of this!
        In my mind Kate’s worst flash was in that short spotted dress at a wedding, Kate was pregnant but was more interested in saving her hat and hair and laughing than saving her modesty and stopping us from seeing what only her midwife should be seeing.
        Thanks for the post and I’m sending a virtual hug to Nightwing which I hope you can give him.

  15. For some reason I’m dreading her footwear and dear lord, spare us the sight of her gnarly hooves unshod.

    1. I don’t think she’s heard of pedicures. When she wore those hideous open toed Stuart Weitzman hooves in Australia her feet looked liked they had been doing the gardening.

      1. Unfortunately Kate’s feet are the result of years of abuse and neglect. Back in 2012, when Kate went barefoot for a judo event, a podiatrist broke out the extensive list of Kate’s foot issues:

        http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2190187/Kate-Middletons-feet-Experts-advice-Duchess-Cambridge-toes.html

        Since then, Kate’s feet have aged rapidly and she doesn’t appear to take care of their health. Feet can be very high maintenance, mine are exhausting.

        1. She needs to invest in one of those Scholl thingymajigs that buff your feet and nails up beautifully! They also sell a great range of products to keep your feet looking their best.

          I go to see my Podiatrist once every six months; it’s money extremely well spent and the feeling is amazing – it rivals that of a facial.

          Of course, if Kate wore sensible shoes – not ridiculously skinny heels and pointed toes – her feet would thank her.

        2. I have hideous, gnarly feet, but that’s because I was a ballet dancer. Kate doesn’t have that excuse. My feet would scare small children, but I still take great care of them and refuse to wear heels due to how it throws off your alignment and messes with your posture. Unless I am literally on the beach or swimming, I keep my feet covered. Or in a dance class that requires bare feet. A muslim friend of mine invited me to mosque with her family and i brought a little pair of white socks to spare people from my feet! I think it’s a nutty religion personally, but i always do everything i can to be respectful of other’s beliefs, especially if they’ve been kind enough to invite me to a family event. I don’t think Kate thinks about other people and what might make them uncomfortable. Both she and William are narcissists and lacking empathy or compassion for other people. Which is why you frequently hear stories of them being rude and selfish, but never about them going out of their way to be thoughtful and gracious.

  16. Their previous tours scream “culturally insensitive”, especially the Malaysia one. Seriously what is it about foreigners and their ignorance about what is and is not appropriate clothing for the places they intend to visit? How hard is it in this era of technology to simply search and find out before you visit? I don’t get it.

    1. There’s one dinner/reception on the 10th (Bollywood stars, it’s a charity fundraiser). From the little I’ve read about it, it doesn’t sound like a tiara event but I could be wrong. On the 19th, there’s a reception for British nationals in Bhutan but I doubt there will be any major bling there either. There are only 22 events total for this tour, one is the flight to Agra, two are wreath-laying, four are wildlife-related, there’s one private audience and one private dinner with the King and Queen of Bhutan, a garden party, the six hour hike and a few other day events.

  17. Three points:

    a.) WHAT boobs?

    b.) When she gets to the Taj Mahal, she might as well just do a naked centerpiece photo spread for Playboy. You know, all classy-like, just like Diana would have done it. In fact, I think she should even splay herself over the very same bench. “Here’s to love!” quoth she…”of meee!”

    c.) Kate is a trendsetter, is she? Then I guess bush really is back. That means I can hit the snooze button once or twice more on certain days, so uh, thanks, Kate. I know you’ve done it for the sisterhood.

    1. Actually, Playboy doesn’t do nude pictorials any more. The February 2016 Playmate was the last. I’m probably more up on Playboy than most because for some strange reason, whenever I can’t figure out the answer to something, Hugh Hefner appears to me in a dream and provides it. It’s truly bizarre.

      Actually the bush is back. Kathy Lette proclaimed it so last summer. I’m starting to think I may read too much. Maybe I should take up scrapbooking or drinking.

      1. Another one bites the dust? That’s really pretty sad in my opinion. Now naked women in the most disgusting poses imaginable are just a click away, so why pine for a forbidden fruit, why take in the female form as studied and rendered by a professional photographer? Hell, let’s even give up on the whole “I only read it for the articles!” spiel. In a way, with her Cheeks for Free! mentality, Kate has done her own bit to kill the centerfold. More chaotic amateurism ahead…oh goody.

  18. I sense she will be pulling a lot of Mary moves with overpriced crap that she chooses because it looks ethnic yet actually has no cultural significance to the places she visits.

    I wonder how she is going to hold up in the heat though? Maybe her exercise addiction means she will be able to handle it better than expected.Although fainting would be so very Diana of her.

    I also wonder just how many times they will get it wrong. One would assume they would be on their best behavior but given their inability to listen my predictions:
    – Kate avoids eating in India and merely belly dances around William in one of Pippa’s old Halloween costumes unaware that she has the wrong country in mind.
    -We learn that the tour is mysteriously following Jecca’s honeymoon stops.
    -Kate asks poor children if they dream of a being cast in Slumdog Millionaire 2. William asks if they relate to Bend It Like Beckham.
    -Kate wears a full on burqa circa Afganistan 1999 both to meet the Bollywood film stars and whenever in the presence of Queen Jetsun to avoid looking like their 70 yr old grandmother two weeks post death. Kate fans claim it is honoring their culture, facts be damned!
    – Kate and William finally get she needs to stop copying Diana so at the Taj Mahal they switch it up with William appearing in Diana’s Taj Mahal dress. Kate sobs because his legs are now better than hers.
    – Kate asks the King of Bhutan if he prefers living there or in Graceland. William asks Queen Jetsun for her autograph for Charlottte because she loved her in Mulan.
    -To smooth things over Harry has to star in a Bollywood movie and live in Bhutan doing charity work for a year.

  19. So, I don’t see how boys at the Australia event with the low cut pink top were able to get pictures. Wasn’t their security around? Although, obviously none of them have leaked.

    I think it’s funny people are upset about the extreme close up photo of the red coat. I honestly can’t see anything since it is so blurry (which I am fine with). I guess I don’t see what the fuss is about other than it shows her dress flew up again.

    I know you only covered flashings from Royal tours, but there are so many more times she has flashed just at engagements or even personal events-remember the wedding when she was pregnant in the super short black and white polka-dot dress? She once again cared more about her saving her hair than her dress. It goes beyond tours which just shows how much Kate really does love showing her body. 🙁

    1. Their security should have been a little more on the ball. It’s fairly easy to take a covert pic because everyone has their phones in their hands anyway these days but they should have spaced out the line and not let more than one boy near Kate at a time. The article I read by a local news organization about it disappeared in something like fourteen minutes. They might not have been on the ball, but the reaction was swift when they figured out what was going on.

  20. Another great post Lola, even if it was a bit disconcerting to see many of Kate’s faux pas in one place. I am convinced there will be at least one more to add to the gallery before this tour is over.
    It is always interesting and amusing to read your take on the duchAss. I hope we are treated to many more of your musings, observations, and thoughts in the future.

    1. Thank you, Elizabeth. I wonder if she’ll go four for four. I watched the arrival and the beginning of the tour on Twitter. I haven’t gone to bed yet, figured I’d soak it in, then get some rest, and write about it tonight.

  21. Lola, I look forward to your daily reports of this India/ Bhutan tour.
    I don’t know their full itinerary for this tour, but attending a cricket match is not a very serious engagement. And neither is meeting Bollywood stars. Also, as an Indian, I don’t understand this fasciation/ interest in visiting in slums.

    1. I’ve been watching along, haven’t gone to bed yet because I wanted to experience it as it happens. I’ll cover the first day later on today. Nothing that I’ve seen as of yet has been serious.

  22. OMG she is playing cricket in a granny dress and the 5″ suede wedges of doom–with that mop of hair looking all frizzy from the heat/humidity. I have no words… God she is just so clueless. The other photos I’ve seen –she has major bitch face going on. She is AWFUL!!!!!!!

  23. All I can see is curtains. Curtains of hair, curtain material being made into dresses, curtains on the future of the BRF. Sad really.

  24. I’ve not seen all her prurient pictures in one place before. It’s rather overwhelming and shocking. It’s hard to believe no one read her the riot act for such a long time, if they ever did. All we need now is the sex tape.

    1. Why do you think she never gets read the riot act with her absolutely disgraceful behaviour in the position of duchess representing our Royal Family..
      both of them are really disgraceful..
      All they do is spend tax payers money on a glamourised holiday

  25. Gosh Lola spot on as always I had forgotten how many times waity had flashed her private parts to all and sundry to the world absolutely disgraceful … Again in India playing cricket in high wedges where maxi dress has blown up showing her legs just above the knees.. Why oh Why does this silly stupid girl child have to jump about with cricket bat in wedges …. how ridiculous does she look…
    certainly not Royal she never will be …. just waiting for next stupid thing she does …

  26. When the children were trying to teach her a few words of Hindu she totally rolls her eyes and blows off the older lady. Also, just doing a little dot connecting here–Pippa and Czar Nicky, er, James–were in India- maybe a year ago-??? I just thought it was odd at the time because they are more the Mustique, St. Bart’s type. I’m just wondering if this was a “scouting” jolly paid for by the poor taxpayer. It’s strange to me that they were in India, and now Waity’s in India…

  27. I’m so pleased Kate read my comments/suggestion about wearing her hair up in a chignon – she has done so at the gala tonight where she’s wearing a blue dress and looks incredible – very princess-like. I approve!!! 🙂

    1. PS: That paisley dress she’s wearing (playing soccer) – gorgeous! I really like her wardrobe choices thus far; she’s really outdone herself. Go Kate!

  28. Great writing lola! Stumbled onto this site while trying to learn about the duke and duchess who are on a seemingly purposeless visit here. Slums-poverty-bollywood-cricket the stereotypist guide to India. Out of curiosity- doesn’t Kate have a stylist or Google or a mirror? The red dress looked like it was made out of the Taj hotel’s bedsheet collection and the blue dress looked like the nightgowns worn here. What is noteworthy is the negligible coverage of the visit in local press. Not even cricket god Sachin Tendulkar could make these two interesting or newsworthy. I don’t think anyone here is interested in having them back unless they are bringing back the Koh-i-noor with them or at least Coldplay.

    1. What you said X 1000 Anu. My thoughts exactly. Day 1 of this totally purposeless -and very expensive- tour—and ALL there is to talk about are her clothes, terrible shoes, and the hair curtain. That’s it, there is nothing else to discuss. They’ve said nothing of any importance. However Bill Middleton did reveal a couple of interesting things in his speech: he can’t even watch a SINGLE Bollywood movie before his tour ( so, like Waity, ZERO preparation). OMG. And he just unwittingly revealed to us that India was at the top of Waity’s travel bucket list. So, yep, it’s a vacation on the taxpayer’s dime. Oh, and he says after 5 years and 2 kids they are FINALLY in India—like it has been some kind of epic struggle they’ve had to endure to get Waity to India. The only thing Waity has been reported to say is she fears she might miss her children. I think its all so disgusting. If they can’t do charity work in their own country, then these “holitours” should not be allowed. They are just doing photo-ops in fancy clothes, and getting a 5 star vacation/tour. That’s it–it is nothing more than that. And they just continue to get away with it……. but I’ll say this, these two look like total idiots on the world stage. There is no way they will ever be King and Queen.

      1. anne- lol- the hair curtain 🙂 Waity’s shoe monstrosity must have dug trenches on the pitch. I pity the groundsmen who have to lay it back now. I read that this visit is being undertaken at the request of the British government, which makes me wonder what the British government was going for- getting the Indian film industry to come and shoot movies there? It certainly seems like a taxpayer funded vacation as of now.

    2. Ha! I’m glad I’m not the only one who hated the red dress. It’s actually a trimmed down version of the monstrous Erdem curtain gown. Too busy, too big patterns for her slight frame, and too big hair.

    3. Anu, I thought the same about stereotyping on this tour. I’m a great lover of all things Indian and have spent the last 15 years learning about your fascinating, incredible country. I’m fortunate to have made several Indian friends here in Alabama USA who have indulged my passion. One of the nicest things ever said to me was that I may be American, but my heart is Indian. I wonder about the feelings of ordinary, man-on-the-street Indians regarding W&K, being representatives of the former colonial rulers.

      1. Nice to know BamaLynn! I don’t think the man-on-the-street Indians know or care about W&K. It was actually Sachin Tendulkar’s involvement in this royal drama that put the dim spotlight on this tour for us. The British Raj ended a long time ago and we have come a far way from those times. But if the purposeless W&K are representative of the UK now- well- best wishes for the country 🙂

    4. Anu, thank you for your post and welcome to the site! It’s wonderful to here how this tour is going from a local perspective because if you look at most media it’s a hot ticket.

      William spilled the beans about Kate’s travel wish list and honestly I didn’t expect more from them. They barely have a full brain between them and to give them any heavy lifting with visits and real life situations would have been incredibly taxing for both of them. Not to mention it would have opened the door for even more ridiculous comments on their behalf.

      I’ve just come to accept this of them and not expect any more. It’s too depressing to see you good thoughts and hopes stomped on every single time.

  29. Isn’t there a full or partial frontal photo of her changing out of or into a bathing suit out there somewhere?

    1. There is but they aren’t very clear.She is switching bathing suits from the black and white one to the blue one with a towel over her shoulders.

  30. I appreciate that she didn’t bow to muslim dress codes as a representative of a Christian country. It will be interesting to see her handle religious issues in such a volatile time.

    1. There is no such thing as a Muslim dress code, lol. Especially not in India which is made up of many cultures/religions. That’s like saying there is a Christian dress code. No such thing, but there are some cultures and or/tribes in countries (including Christianity) that adhere to dress code. (such as Mennonites, Amish) It’s the same with any religion, there are sub- groups who’s culture may or may not have a “dress code”.

  31. Sigh…I have a question…what is it that Kate finds so hard to grasp? Day 2 – She has on a prim and proper looking white dress with starchy collar but the two pockets are drawing attention, in a country like India, to her breasts! She always does things like this, a kind of covert flashing or suggestiveness! Some respect perhaps Kate…a country where there have been women raped and treated like dirt. For womankind overall, don’t play these games, dress like a woman who has real self respect!

  32. Just so your are aware……Day 2 and we have a flash. At the Indian memorial to the war dead no less. cream skirt blew up and the War Dead have a full frontal.

  33. I’m sure it doesn’t come as a much of a surprise to any of us who have been following her “career” that she managed to flash the photographers on day 2 of the visit. I am willing to bet some of those photogs we’re in “direct line of fire” so to speak and got an eyeful of the royal underpinnings (which I am hoping she was wearing). Since she clearly has no intention of having the hems of her dresses weighted and has lost so much weight herself that a brisk gust of wind could easily lift her off the ground even without an umbrella, I fear there will be many more of these “Marilyn moments” to come…

    1. While I’m not surprised – a friend and I had an over/under on how long it would take Kate to flash- I do have to give her props for flashing at a war memorial. That’s a level up, even for her! Well done, Kate.

      P.S. -Old lurker but new commenter to this blog. Lola, your writing never fails to make smile.

    1. Thanks for the link, I was just prepping tonight’s link, you saved me a search! That little bit of white isn’t her undies, it is actually the bottom of the dress’ lining which also whipped up. When Kate wears hosiery like she was today, she doesn’t wear panties. The hosiery is super-thin so it doesn’t look like she’s wearing hosiery at all (well, except her legs are that dated sparkly-shiny). I’m pretty sure Herazeus knows what brand it is, I’ve actually been meaning to ask her.

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