Day 3 – India and Bhutan Tour

Stop the press, what is that?

On Day 3 of the royal tour, Kate Middleton continued to be an agent of chaos by wearing flats.

Kate'sFlats

Screen grab from Daily Mail

After remaining faithful to her character this tour in high-heeled court shoes and towering wedges, Kate Middleton busted out out a pair of Xpresso flats.  The flashing I anticipated but sensible shoes?

EmilyAndrewsKateinFlats

Of course, they didn’t work with the maxi dress by Glamorous but chaos rarely coordinates well.

I actually like this dress maybe because it reminds me of some of Laura Ingalls’ dresses who I still totally want to be when I grow up, except obviously with electricity and WiFi and restaurants that deliver and yoga pants and cable… I wouldn’t have made it five minutes on the prairie.

LittleHouseonthePrairie

While Kate was meeting with street children, they wanted her to draw her house so she did.

EmilyAndrew'sKateDrawsHouse

Since the structure is obviously neither Kensington Palace or the ten bedroom country estate, Anmer Hall, I think it’s safe to assume Kate lives locked in a shed either at her parents’ house in Berkshire or on the Anmer Hall estate.  Still, it’s probably bigger than my apartment in Manhattan.

One of the kids helped Kate color it, not realizing Kate lives in a world of white and beige.

Prince William and Kate then had lunch with the Prime Minister.  Kate wore this Alice Temperley dress:

RebeccaEnglishAliceTemperly

Honestly, I couldn’t stop looking at her boobs in this dress.  I can’t tell if this is the result of the absence of a bra or if this is the result of one of Kim Kardashian’s boob tape tutorials gone terribly wrong.

Kate paired it with the debut of custom Kiki McDonough earrings.

KateKikiEarrings

Supposedly they commemorate Charlotte’s birth, but her birthstone is emerald, not green amethyst or green tourmaline.  Kate already has emerald earrings as well as Kiki McDonough green amethyst earrings so it’s a curious choice.

While royal photographers and correspondents took a bus for three hours to Kazrianga, the Cambridges, their luggage and entourage hopped a private plane.

EmilyAndrewsPrivatePlane

Between tour tedium, the long hot bumpy transportation, and sleep deprivation, I wouldn’t be surprised if the royal correspondents and photographers start spilling some less flattering Cambridge details or their social media updates tomorrow afternoon are just all F-bombs and random quotes from 12 Monkeys because there are some things even liquor can’t hug away.

Once in Kaziranga, they were welcomed by Assamese dancers and a three year old child stomped on a pair of Kate’s wedges which made many go awwww to cover up secret jealously that the kid got to live the dream.

VictoriaMurphyAnnaSui

Kate’s Anna Sui maxi dress reminded me of Brady Bunch curtains.

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72 thoughts on “Day 3 – India and Bhutan Tour”

  1. Two theories about the house photo

    – She didn’t want to draw her palaces,country mansion, the two large homes her parents have recently owned so she drew the one she lived in as a child.
    http://i1301.photobucket.com/albums/ag119/KikiLaShrew/Waitherine/2645BBEA-B547-4687-BAE3-B75DC0A0734A_zpstqwmhv8s.jpg

    OR

    -As you pointed out her hobby seems to be destroying the monarchy or in other words Waity is her name and subversion is her game. The sneaky little sloth in dowager’s clothing is showing us the small little shed where she was born. And by born I mean where secret mad scientist Carole Middleton lobotomized the Kate last spotted modeling for Really Wild Clothing outside of Blenheim Palace in order to turn her into the WaityBot beta edition before subsequently replacing her with increasingly lighter versions. However Carole seems to have fallen into the trap many tech companies have faced because at this point her creations gets lighter and more expensive while seemingly increasing glitches therefore decreasing usability.

    – Glad I’m not the only one horrified by how her boobs looks. Flat yet droopy. It almost looks like she is wearing one of those awful strapless bras which are basically a band of material whch provide no shape. I also think it is because she ruined another dress as she has no concept that she has no eye for fashion and can’t just change what she pleases on a dress and expect it to retain its integrity and overall feel. She tends to want to hide the fact that her legs are very short compared to her torso hence this dress. Unfortunately by raising the waist it creates an allusion of “My my boobs have fallen and get up!”

    1. Kiki, I agree with you and Lola on the boobs issue. And you nailed the problem. She wears her waist bands too high, so it makes her boobs look droopy. To me, she looks out of proportion the other way; her legs are too long and her torso too short. If she wears high heels, she shouldn’t raise her waistlines. Also, if she stopped wearing see-through clothing she could wear proper bras and have nice looking breasts.

      We’ve seen a lot of boho-chic on this tour. I wore a lot of that in the early 90s, but I never thought of it as “Indian”. I feel bad commenting on her clothes, but there hasn’t been much else to comment on.

    2. Thanks for the laugh Kiki!

      I couldn’t take my eyes off her bosom in this green monstrosity of a dress but didn’t want to be first to mention (make fun of) it.

      1. Thank you. But this your kingdom(queendom?) where I merely am thrilled to spend my self imposed exile from my previous home.

  2. Dear God what is the point of this tour and this couple?
    All that money and you can’t build in a support bra when you add “modesty panels”? You can add “modesty panels” but you can’t add a slip? You go to a conservative country and wear a dress that requires “modesty panels”?

    I agree, home is Bucklebury or the house before. Not Amner, KP or the cottage in Wales. It may even be the farmhouse she and the love of her life, the Ironic Wildlife Preservationist, shared while skipping classes in their final year at St. Andy’s.
    Great post Lola! Good to see you again Kiki! Miss you on RD!

    1. Thanks temi!

      I don’t think there would be a way to add a support bra into this dress because of the material and structure. I think Kiki was right about it looking so odd because of the jacked-up waist line. I don’t understand her fixation with her torso. She has a long torso, I have long legs, who cares, it’s not like either of us belongs in the Hellboy Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense because we don’t fit in with the Normals.

      1. Kate wants to have long legs too Lola, that’s why she has Tasha butcher her clothes as she thinks moving the waistline will give that impression.

        But no Kate, it doesn’t, it just means you have clothing that fit badly – I can’t think of a better example than the red Alexander McQueen with the hacked up waistline.

        As for the twee modesty panels? if Kate had worn a flesh tone slip like loisted below then her clothes would fit better:
        http://www.theiconic.co.nz/smooth-touch-slip-211740.html
        http://www.myer.com.au/shop/mystore/modal-slip-usow13034-153886690-177160330
        or even a Nancy Ganz Sleek Slip Dress http://www.smithandcaugheys.co.nz/ProductDetail?CategoryId=138&ProductId=34858&Colour=Nude

        It would be easy to hide a bra underneath so we wouldn’t be looking at her sock puppets too. I’m sure they must have these products in the UK, if not then Tash could get the products sent from New Zealand?

        Sorry about the rant but I hate the way Kate wears her clothes, they are expensive items and Kate hacks them up and gets them to be poorly fitted. She may as well be wearing stuff from the rag bag, and then giving the money she would have spent to the charities she’s visited.

  3. DM has overdone the fault-finding, latest article, most comments are supportive and defending her. Such short memories and lack of concern about her laziness and greed.

    1. You’re right. But all that matters is the clicks. Meanwhile, there’s little outrage about DM headlines about female celebrities “showcasing” or “putting on display” various parts of their body, like when they are wearing normal clothing and doing normal activities, insinuating they are trying to get everyone to stare at a part of their anatomy.

      1. Sorry Lola, can you clarify your last sentence, brain not working too well as I can’t be sure what you mean.

    1. I often see comments on DM about the site manipulating the comment section. I’ve noticed with this tour a dip in interest going into it. Having been following along, I can attest to it being boring beyond words. DM might be trying to stir up sympathy for Kate just to get clicks. They get more hits than any other news site in the world and they want to keep their ranking. The press is first and foremost a business.

  4. Love the Laura Ingalls comparison, the dress is spot on. Another day, another racked up cost to British taxpayers for what? Lola, I’m trying to find an quantative good from this trip so far, do you have any specifics on money raised or if the dynamic duo going on safari to see black rhinos helps other than the public being more aware the nature preserve exists? All I see is an expensive effort to bolster their “work” numbers. It’s not work riding in a jeep to animals. I guess I could count my last trip to Animal Kingdom in Fl as work if so.

    1. I don’t really see the point in this tour which I touch upon a bit in the next post. Papers have been mentioning the lack of crowds and general interest. Piers Morgan skewered William as a conservation figure, the photos of him bottle feeding the baby rhino pushed him over the edge.

      1. I’m glad Piers called him out on that. I don’t always agree with Piers but he’s absolutely right on this. I’m still really disappointed that Will didn’t make a speech and puzzled over it because it would make this a little less vacay and more substance. We can’t depend on Kate for any type of substance except being an embarrassment. That amazes me too. She almost seems more confident since she’s flashed. I go back to when you related about her flashing in school for popularity; maybe it’s a serial compulsion.

  5. I just realized something about Waity and I am kicking my own backside for it.

    She assumes designer clothes are the best and it automatically make he look money.

    Hmm…

    1. Someone, somewhere made a comment that I have read recently:
      “Kate dresses like a lottery winner”.

    2. When Kate was first married, she used her newfound status to get meetings with the designers, the reason she dressed better in the beginning is because the designers would style the outfits for her. Then the novelty wore off. I think its about status more than anything else, anyone with any kind of genuine love for fashion wouldn’t allow such butchered tailoring.

  6. That house must have been Waity and Willy’s shag shack in college.

    Ahhhhh now we see the Waity cheerleading team of schleppers and wannabe “stylists.” All Waity clones in tragic suede shoes, wedges of doom, and clothes. You can’t make this up.

  7. Between you, KMR and RD I am managing to keep my sanity during this tour. But I am reaching the end of my rope. I’m tired of seeing their all expense paid vacation. Because that’s what it is, there is nothing diplomatic about whatsoever.

    And I’m very close to having a ceremony officially adding Kate’s tribute to India dresses to the list that includes any dress of hers in lace (the fancy green number included) and blue coats.

    A little birdy told me that there are photos showing Kate’s undies in the fly-up from the front, but they won’t be revealed because they were taken by the favored Cambridge photographer and the affianced to stylist of the hour Tash, Chris Jackson. Can’t say who told me so please don’t ask.

    On the boob front, Kate doesn’t really have boobs any more so I find it incredible that she can make them look so bad. Her bras are probably a B cup sliding into A territory so it’s not like she would have a lot of fabric up there adding to the heat factor. I think it all goes along with the flashing of the bare backside in a tribute to William. Kind of like the mullet hair style, business on the outside, party underneath. If this fact was just kept between the two of them it would be one thing. But since she shows no qualms in sharing with the whole freaking world it gets tiresome and nauseating.

    Just a quick question in closing, would it kill William to touch his wife at some point during this tour other than to guide her into a building? It’s like it was forbidden. They want to be soooo normal but they act like robots with each other.

    That’s it, actually looking forward to the end of the tour so these two can go back into hiding. I’ve seen enough of them playing, I now only want to see them in work mode.

          1. royaldish.com
            and
            http://royalgossip.forumprofi.de/

            Be warned though – they’re completely yin; no yang! 😉

            I’m all for a bit of gossip and a laugh but I think these sites – especially the second one – cross the line a lot of the time.

            Why do I still read them? Because they seem to have the best photos and insider goss … very few other sites compare.

          2. Lola’s moderation system ate my original comment 🙁

            Check out ‘Royal Gossip’ too (won’t let me enter the link) … Royal Dish and Royal Gossip have a whole heap of photos that you won’t see anywhere else, as well as some great insider information (take it with a grain of salt though, who really knows who these people are, and in more than a couple of cases the posters seem a little … “unhinged”).

    1. Thanks for the info re the photographer Lisa!

      How embarrassing for Tash that her boss flashed her undies at her boyfriend!
      *cringe*

    2. I got the same info about Chris Jackson which will be in the next post once I muster enough interest to finish it because OMG I can feel myself going numb with boredom.

      1. I love reading your posts Lola and thanks for surviving the boredom to report back to us. It seemed this tour went on for ever, but didn’t really achieve anything, did it?

    3. Lisa

      He’ll be forced to touch her and they’ll be doing some sappy cow-eye gazing at each other at the Taj Mahal photo/PR thingy.

      Haven’t been online looking at the shenanagins for a day or two but I’m assuming they’ll be there before they leave.

  8. Confession: I hired that young boy to step on her foot as I could not be there in person to do it myself. I had also given him a small pouch of common sense and charisma (cleverly disguised as fairy dust as Kate is quite ditsy and wouldn’t know the difference) to sprinkle on her but the RPO’s were beginning to get suspicious. I’m however not discouraged. I have a few more people strategically placed to gave Kate a clue or two when the opportunity knocks. *Crosses fingers and hopes for the best*

    1. i hope you also sent the earth quake over to knock some sense into the two of them! Though it did land a little off the mark and into Burma!

      1. I was hoping seeing the poverty and struggle in India would have some positive effect on these 2 nitwits. I’m wondering now if the earthquake will shake some sense in to them. Sadly, I’m not convinced…

    2. I know you’re being funny but … did you see the DM article about the ISIS woman they’re worried is following them about? I don’t wish harm on anyone but they really do need to be careful.

        1. Ditto although a part of me thinks if they were in serious danger, they’d already be home by now.

  9. Kate’s full length red dress reminds me of the ‘gowns’ that Indian women of my mother’s age wear at home.

  10. I’d say the new Kiki earrings in green were her push present she picked out(like the eternity ring) Not a big fan of the gemstone choice.

  11. Random thought time from me 😉

    Victoria Beckham (along with David, of course) were guests at William and Kate’s wedding, so it would be fair to assume that they have (had?) some sort of friendship.

    So why doesn’t Kate purchase some of Victoria’s gorgeous dresses to wear to events? I absolutely love most of Victoria’s creations and if they were within my budget I’d be buying up large. Even if Kate couldn’t see anything she liked off-the-rack, I’m sure Victoria could whip something up for her.

    I shouldn’t say this (in light of Emilia Wickstead being a Kiwi [like me]), but her clothes tend to wear Kate, rather than Kate wear them. And Temperley London always seems to look a bit dowdy on her. Jenny Packham’s creations look a bit blah; and I’m not a fan of McQueen at all.

    Also, if she sourced her outfits from Victoria I’m sure she could negotiate freebies in turn for the priceless marketing her wearing them would offer.

    That’s just my two cents’ worth.

    I’ll be back to read Lola’s wonderful post after I’ve eaten my cornflakes and banana 🙂

    1. Hi T
      I would want to see what Emilia Wickstead’s clothes looked like on someone like Princess Madeline as I’ve come to the conclusion that if Tash and Kate have been fitting the clothes themselves then we probably have no idea how Emilia wanted them to fit?
      And IMO Alice Temperley designs clothes to fit her body type. If you have the same body type them they will look great, otherwise…

  12. T, I have wondered for years why she doesn’t wear VB designs. She does a very tailored, pared down look, though has been known to work in the odd Peter Pan collar and girly touch. Which our girl would be ALL over.

    Have you ever seen anything as truly hideous as that bedazzled blue costume she busted out for her first night? Whose bloody idea was that? Ugh, Tash it’s time to step aside, Posh- you’re in. The good little (bad) girl next door shtick is soooo overdone. Stop clutching your crotch, grab his and give it a good twist and then get empowered and BE something!!

    1. Thank you Cookie 🙂

      While dreaming of a Lotto win one night I scoured Victoria’s website and fell in love with more than a few garments that she was offering. Her designs are just gorgeous! And Kate would definitely rock them.

      Reiss also do an ‘okay’ line of dresses but they’re a bit hit and miss for me … Victoria seems en pointe all the time (well, she designs things I like at least; I’m sure not everyone agrees).

      Their staffing set-up sounds a bit like a consultancy firm I used to work for. As in, you might be employed as the Receptionist, but should they have a need for an Accountant for a day then you’re it! You can do it! Come on, you can count! Hmmm … as in, Tash is really only a PA; she probably has an interest in fashion but that’s not enough. I have an interest in soap dramas but I’m not going to become an actor in one.

      1. PS: If I was in charge of restructuring the Cambridge’s staffing set-up (which I think is needed), I would:

        * Consolidate the PA roles – William and Kate can share one; this makes two positions redundant (Sophie, Rebecca and Natasha all have these types of roles in some form, shape or manner). Get rid of the always-unprofessional Rebecca, sour Sophie (is that her name?) and Natasha and get someone in who is capable and experienced.

        * Get rid of the hairdresser – Kate goes to a salon from time to time anyway, so she’s not needed. Besides, how hard is it to brush your hair and style it neatly?

        * Get rid of the assistant to Jason, as well as the overall comms person … just have one comms person, but don’t have that as Jason (he looks like a little boy lost). This person can also take over the letter writing that Rebecca does (badly).

        * Hire a dedicated tailor. Someone who can go through Kate’s wardrobe and remove all the unflattering pieces, modify the okay-looking pieces, and add to the great pieces. And make new outfits as the need arises (but not a new outfit for every occasion).

        * Hire an additional nanny to assist Maria, who seems like the most overworked one of them all.

        * Hire a professional lady-in-waiting to accompany Kate and William on their joint, and separate, occasions.

        * At the house, hire an overseer of domestic staff and then get rid of surplus roles – they should only need one cook, one kitchen hand, two cleaners and two drivers.

        1. I clearly need to drink more coffee … the PA roles would be consolidated from four/five down (not three) to one … as William has his own personal secretary/assistant (or does he have two)?

        2. Since W+K’s workload is so small, it is hard to justify that number of staff. Their need for PR Plus is due to the need to clean up the messes as well as paint W+K as decent people; that’s a hard job because they are ghastly.
          Yes to any assistance for Nanny Maria since she clearly does the bulk of the care-giving to the children.
          Yes to the household staff + gardener. Not sure about a cook and kitchen hand: Kate looks as if she rarely eats, William is not often home and his go-to meal is cheese on toast, the kids are on basics.

        3. T, did you know that Rebecca has her own assistant? She’s the dark haired girl in the photos of the three staff doing the hike today.

  13. I really want to give her a thumbs-up for wearing flats, but all I see with them is these: http://www.dancewearsolutions.com/shoes/lyrical_and_contemporary/321.aspx?gclid=CLmW3o7AjMwCFQUMaQodVHEF5A

    Also, I agree with others that her choice of outfits (“these fun and colorful patterns remind me of India!”) is both contrived and more than a little condescending. I’ve disliked almost everything she’s worn. She’s does appear a little more engaged than usual, but all I have to do is go and look at how other European royals comport themselves on tours, and I’m reminded that she’s still operating below the bare minimum.

    Now I wish I could think of something clever to say connecting bare minimum to the flashing (which, honestly, was inevitable), but I’m at a loss.

    1. Hi melete! 🙂

      Ugh! Those shoes are hideous (both the ones Kate wore as well as the ones in your link). They reminded me of what women of a certain age around here (where I live) wear with their capri pants and jerseys casually draped across their shoulders.

      I’m more horrified by the scruffy moccasin-style shoes she wore on her most recent outing (the safari) though. Those things look overdue for the dust bin. Seriously – would it kill her to get some cute suede boots that cut off just above the ankle? Those jeans or leggings – whatever they were – were several shades of hideousness too. She just has no idea.

      My current workplace has a clothing guide for casual Fridays – “Would you find it at Country Road?” – which seems to work well … I’m thinking that Kate should follow suit and pay this site a visit:
      http://www.countryroad.com.au/shop/woman#

      1. I’m pretty sure she borrowed those flat shoes from someone. They’re just not fitting her usual style and they don’t go with anything she’s worn.

        They really do look like middle age ladies footwear for nipping out to the store in.

      2. Oh yes, Kate would suit Country Road. I wear the brand too, my wardrobe is like a mini Country Road!
        And that’s a good way to have a clothing guide, very subtle as I know some people struggle with the right clothing for casual Fridays.

  14. I know Indian women who are amused and insulted in relation to all the long patterned numbers that Kate is wearing – that is not what professional women in India wear to work or at home in 2016. Despite the recce that her staff did they seem to have only seen a limited strata of society there

  15. Not sure which is more insulting to her hosts and their religious and cultural sensibilities – the pseudo hippy dippy “ethnic” fabrics and modest dresses, or the spray on jeans which, in true exhibitionist Kate style, reveal a lot more than we need or want to see.

    1. The spray on low cut jeans should not be seen on anyone who is out of school and particularly in a country where women are modest in their dress. Loose trousers would have been the way to go.

  16. So far all of her dresses have made me think of Vera Bradley purses. I do like the red maxi dress. It reminds me of a granny dress I had back in the ’90s; it paired perfectly with my generic Doc Martens.

  17. One thing that is really driving me insane are the idiotic commenters on the DM who keep saying she has to wear these boho dresses and had to add that horrid wrap to her evening wear because of the culture in India requiring women to always keep fully covered. Apparently they failed to notice that no other Indian women around are dressed like Kate and that none of the Bollywood actresses were wearing dresses they could later use in 50 years when they are the grandmother of the bride.
    Now excuse me I need to go check out tumblr. I’m in the mood to see syncophantic Waity fans attack each other over allegedly stolen edits like they are persecuted artists when in reality they just saved photos off the DM then used the free filters which come with their iPads.

    1. Kate’s wardrobe choices have perplexed me, although I did like the Glamorous maxi dress she wore yesterday (I’m thinking of ordering it but I’m not sure if my large chest with the lace-up front would look too Halloween pirate wench on me… I’ve already got a Dread Pirate Roberts Halloween costume which can be transformed into the Dread Pirate Julia Roberts with the right wig and hooker boots) and the original version of the McQueen which has wonderful possibilities for styling, none of which she took. There’s only been one official nod to her host country (Jenny Packham beading in India doesn’t count since it was probably really a cost-cutting measure). The rest isn’t her style, nor is it Indian.

      1. Well it is a pity that Chutney does not put as much preparation into her charities and official visits as she puts into her clothes hair and makeup – even though her choices for all three generally do not meet the mark – just goes to show that one might have an education but still be an empty vessel

      2. I hate the fact Kate wore that red dress since I rather like it. In fact, I feel a bit ashamed to confess that I’ve actually ordered it since I’m not the one to order things because a celebrity or a royal has worn it. Time will tell if I dare to wear the dress outside of my house, that has to do with the exact reason you mentioned! Finding a maxi length dress that is actually full length for someone my height is so difficult though that I couldn’t resist. I fully agree with you Lola, it really isn’t Kate’s style and it just feels too artificial to have her parading around in boho chic pretending she’s blending in with the locals.

  18. Lola I don’t know what you do IRL but it wouldn’t surprise me to learn you’re a stand up comic. Tears are rolling down my face this week as I belly laugh at your blog. “The kid got to live the dream” roflmao

  19. Kate sure is good at making an extremely expensive designer dress look cheap and tacky. That’s a rare talent. Ugh, those flats. So hideous. And they clash horribly with the dress.

  20. Just a follow-up in case anyone was interested in that red dress (and I know no-one is): It’s fab and I love it. Not really obscene on me which is good but what I did not expect was for the fabric to be slightly see-through and sort of crepe polyester. Now I am totally convinced Kate had hers made shorter. I am 5’10.5″ tall and the dress is floor length (57 inches) for me which is very, very rare. I actually have to wear high heels so I won’t step on that hem! I bet the belt was there to cover up the fact a seamstress altered it. Glamorous is also offering a dress in petite size (52.5 inches) which is according to them meant for people under 5’3″.

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