Back to the Future Heir & Hair

Lately I’ve  been a little  quiet on the topic of Prince William and Kate, there are only so many ways you can describe beige paint drying.  The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge seem far less into the whole being royal thing than the ninety-year-old  monarch who endlessly shows up in my Twitter feed at various engagements.   But here’s a  little catch-up.

Queen Elizabeth II has said, “I have to be seen to be believed.”  According to an April 20th Telegraph article, the only color “she avoids is beige, which does not allow her to stand out in a crowd”.   In contrast, Kate appears to go to great lengths not to even stand out on her own beige couch.  Except of course when it counts.

On Saturday June 11 at Trooping the Colour, Kate managed to make her way  to the front of all the royals waiting to join the Queen and Prince Philip on the balcony.


When  Kate stepped out on the balcony, she wound up causing a pile-up as she vied for a  prime spot.  Prince Charles had to take Camilla by the hand and gently ease her to the side.


Because what’s the point of going to Trooping the Colour if you can’t be seen  on the balcony?


Kate’s efforts not to be obscured because of royal protocol paid off for her.


For the Trooping  the Colour celebrating her 90th birthday, Her Majesty wore  a nuclear  green coat and dress by Stewart Parvin and matching Rachel Trevor Morgan hat.


It was the hue equivalent of the toon-killing Dip in Who Framed Roger Rabbit and the vat of chemicals  that turned Red Hood/Jack Napier into Batman’s nemesis The Joker.


That’s kinda badass.  And the Queen did go a little Her Royal Honey Badger on William on the Trooping the Colour balcony, reminding William that taxpayers do expect to see members of the Royal Family.


At the Order of the Garter on June 13th, royal-watcher Jennifer @Chic_Happens_ noted that after five years, Kate was finally taking standard royal precautions  against  the elements.


Given how long it’s taken, did perhaps the Queen have a stern word  with the Serial Flasher?

Her Majesty is known to take a laissez-faire approach to running her family.  With the revelation this week that scandal-prone Andrew took a £5,000  helicopter ride to play a round of golf with the World Bank president (added to the Court  Circular the day after the press inquired about it), the Queen really needs to go full-on honey badger with certain members of her family.


One of the Queen’s black patent leather loafers should be aimed at the heir to the heir. At a June 22nd EACH charity gala, Prince William could barely hide his boredom.


EACH-2While Kate still can’t hold a wine glass properly, at least she didn’t look like she deeply resented children with life-threatening illnesses for making gala attendance necessary.

The event was part of the efforts to raise £10million for a new hospice in Norfolk launched in November 2014.  To date, only a quarter of the goal has been reached.  In contrast, a May 27th CNN article indicated Ben Ainslie had already reached £50 million of the £80 million target for his bid to win the America’s Cup.

Both William and Kate looked like a lifetime has passed since Kate  last wore the blush pink Jenny Packham gown she had on at the EACH gala back in 2011.


How hard  is it being royal?  It’s not like the Cambridges do a whole lot of royaling  anyway.   At the Battle of Somme tribute, they looked like a couple that sits on porch rockers with blankets tucked  around them as they forecast the weather by the aches  in their joints.


They are 34  years  old, the same age as Anne Hathaway and Eddie Redmayne, William’s Eton classmate.


In this screen grab side-by-side, the picture of Anne was taken one month  after she gave birth.


Kate is a fashion pendulum swinging in between sexy and elderly.  At the Battle of Somme tribute, Kate sported a hair net which have only been worn by cafeteria workers and fast food employees in the last 80 years.


On Wednesday Kate glammed it up at the National History Museum, presenting the Art Fund of the Year award.  She wore a  stretch jersey dress with mesh insets by Barbara Casasola.


I love this dress and thought it looked gorgeous on Kate.  Not sure what the two buttons are, maybe Kate had panic buttons installed on her bum.


This level of cling on me would provide the kind of visual horror that would forever haunt anyone who happened  to see me in it.  This dress is not cellulite-friendly but on Kate it looks great.

The off-the-shoulder dress had a  front zip which added both an element of  sexiness and sportiness to it.


According to Rebecca English’s Daily Mail piece, Kate accessorized with a pair of pink heels that were so high, she wobbled in them.


And  these were some of the expressions Kate wore in the pics from the same article.


I would take this entire blog down in exchange for whatever pharmacological grab bag Kate’s got her hands on.  I mean drugs are bad, kids, stay in school.

Kate was back to what she does best on Thursday, sitting in the Royal Box at Wimbledon and meeting celebs.  The Sun has a photo from her Venus Williams Snapchat video, pics of some of the celebs with whom she rubbed shoulders as well as an amusing comparison between Kate and Sansa, listing Kate’s occupation as “Mum of Two”.   It’s always refreshing when the media doesn’t try to pretend she does much in the way of duchessing.

Hope all of you are having the loveliest of summers! Thanks to all who have inquired about me.




54 thoughts on “Back to the Future Heir & Hair”

  1. Hi Lola! I can see why you’d take a break from all this blandness. Kate is boring me to tears these days. I haven’t liked any of her recent sartorial adventures lately. I thought she looked awful in the white knit dress, and those 4.5 inch heels are cringeworthy. Why on earth would anyone wear such high heels? I don’t get it. Anyway, it was good to read your post and I’m glad you are doing well.

    1. I agree. Hated the white dress, with a capital H. When I saw it, I let out a gasp and then a guffaw. After that, I might have hissed.

      Otherwise, Kate’s boring. She has the remarkable ability to be completely unremarkable. I rather hope the monarchy has a short shelf life since she and William are the future.

    2. That white dress was a desperate cry for attention. And if Kate was aiming for a sexy look, she failed. She is a plain Jane.

      1. Yes, cringeworthy to be sure. That mesh was so bone-tight fitting on the backside and royally inapprop – HM POW-DoCornwall must had a word with lazy whiny bill.

        Photos suggest the 15 years countdown.

    3. Vava, I am a mean little fat dog hoarding ugly lonely insignificant little woman from a state that some people have either never heard of, or assume is so primitive that we still hot foot it to the outhouse if nature calls. Therefore, I so wish that Kate had fallen on her smug face while wearing those ‘hooker’ heels. Hope I’m not thread jacking but any ‘modesty’ in that hideous outfit was blown out of the water when she attended the air show. Guess the withdrawal pains from her flashing addiction was too much to handle. Skin tight, show it all wasn’t cutting it, she had to show off those legs to all the men and women, I mean 2 kids and by golly they’re going to know she’s still a ‘hottie’.
      In reality, I have dogs that I adore and are well taken care of. I have been very happily married for over 45 years, and we do have indoor plumbing, and while I think that horses are magnificent animals the last time I was on the back of one was years ago and now I admire them from a distance.
      In any case even if Waity had fallen on her face the layers of makeup would have cushioned her fall. And Wimpo might have slapped a law suit on ‘hookers are us’ for making such a dangerous shoe and allowing it to be given to his dear sweet innocent demure pasture mate.

  2. The two buttons attatched to the dress are for start and stop. She needs activating before appearing in public.

    1. Bahahahaha!!! Oh my, I just snorted ice tea across the room!!! Too funny (and true) MrsBBV!!

  3. Good to see you back here although I’ve been following you on Twitter.

    The balcony scene was an entire show in its own right. Kate was bound and determined not to get shunted aside this year. No hiding behind HM’s hat or standing childless while William soaks up the glory. Front and slightly off center with Diana 2.0 and HM is lucky she kept her distance. I’m afraid Kate would have tipped her over the balcony to get the prime spot if she thought she could get away with it.

    Kate’s off the shoulder number with her super high heels were strictly for her own pleasure. Or maybe also to entice William later on. She went from looking frumpy to fab pretty quickly. Guess she didn’t care of the reviews of her looks at the Battle of Somme. I’m pretty sure those buttons are attached to a corset/garter combo. What I can’t understand is how someone who has the seemingly unlimited access to money she has can’t manage to buy undergarments that don’t show under her tight dresses. Seriously she would have been better off with full Spanx than what she had on. And considering her hair the next day at Wimbledon I’m thinking full on wig the night before. May I also thank the gods of would be fashion disasters for never letting us see Kate in a Herve Leger bandage dress. This is probably the closest she will get to that look and it’s not a good one on her.

    Hope all is well with you and Nightwing and please don’t stay away so long next time!

    1. Don’t jinx us please! She might show up in the tightest and shortest bandage dress royally possible.*shivers in fear*

  4. The comparison of the photos from 2011 to 2016 are unbelievable. Neither one of them looks very happy, and I’ll bet he is no joy to live with. Is it all the “demands” of royal life? Neither one would probably know how to handle (let alone juggle) what most of us “commoners” endure on a daily basis. Working, childcare, keeping a home (and all the things that come with it), and that’s just the basics. No one to clean, cook, and no nanny. The poor royals………..

  5. I was so very happy to see your new post – I’ve missed you! But I totally get why the Beige Bomb would not inspire you to new posting heights. I’ve enjoyed your Nightwing pics on Twitter and I hope you both are staying cool.

  6. HaHa! Great post, inclusive of all her skeletfullness’s desperate attempts at fashion!
    Well, you had me at watching beige paint drying!
    Nightwing is such a gorgeous boy. Praise indeed from a cat mum.

  7. Thanks for such a great post Lola, certainly worth the wait!! I do have to say that after an appearance by the reluctant royals I so look forward to your witty observations! I can’t think of one post that has failed to get a hearty laugh from me!! On the other hand I can certainly understand that it must getting boring for you trying to cover a couple that offer so little.

    Seeing the photo of W&K at the ARC event and photos taken at the EACH gala really highlight how much they’ve both aged and how unhappy William seems whenever he’s around his wife. Another cautionary tale about getting what you wish for.

    1. Me too. I’ve very much missed Lola and since I don’t twitter or tweet or instagram or do anything involving more than the basics of the electronic age I’m very happy to see this. I kept looking at the site waiting, waiting. No offense Lola, I love you dearly, but while I was waiting I went to work, came home, did laundry, took care of my dogs, my husband, my grandchildren who are spending time with us, went to Church, did some gardening, dusted, vacuumed, and stuff such as that, so guess I’m not a good true blue waity.

  8. “Both William and Kate looked like a lifetime has passed since Kate last wore the blush pink Jenny Packham gown she had on at the EACH gala back in 2011.”

    THANK YOU! Her wearing it in 2011 was hands-down my favorite look of all time on her, and when she wore it again it was shocking. It looked like she’d aged 20 years. She seems much happier in engagements without Wills. Hmmmm.

    I respectfully disagree about the sexy mummy Halloween costume she wore to the Natural History Museum. I thought it looked horrible on her and not great on the model, either. She did have her Miss America hair going full tilt for that appearance.

  9. So glad to read your comment, as always witty and well written. Please don’t stay away so long next time, only you can make these boring, beige bummers amusing and palatable!

  10. It could be Chopper is saying to himself, how long before she bolts will it be 2017 or 18, please dear G-d, just get it over already, lets see what I can do to tick her off this week, make her ask herself why did I marry this dolt, may-be I should parade my mistress closer to home ? Some days I feel incredibly sorry for her, but most days I don’t , I really just want to see the Midd’s packing !!! They make me want to barf!!!

    1. Unfortunately she will never bolt. The Midds have schemed too much and spent too much time, energy, and $$ getting Chopper to put a ring on it (THE ring!) for Kate to give up Carole’s dream of seeing her daughter as queen consort.

    2. I couldn’t agree more, Msthang, however I don’t think that waity will ever ever trot away. I think it will have to be William’s decision since the ‘Buckleberry Hillbillies’ are shameless, oblivious, and tenacious. And I don’t see William summoning the energy to do anything but hide out, play with his whirlybirds, play video games, and settle for the status quo. I haven’t an ounce of pity or sympathy for waity, she knew what wimpo was like and simply waityed out the other women upon whom wimpo attempted to bestow himself. I’m holding on to the hope that the repulsive Middletons might be rooted out and a massive disenfection might be carried out (and I do mean massive) when Charles makes it to the throne. Waity chooses the clothes she wears, and I’m reasonably certain that among her other issues, she’s an exhibitionist. Short shelf life for exhibitionists I think, and from the pictures I have seen lately people are less than impressed. The Middletons most assuredly do bring out the urge to barf!!! I can’t even bring myself to read the DM as often as I used to. When the sister of a ‘royal’ is front page news things are going South. I’m sure the other married ins have family but only the repulsive Middletons are in the news, posing and showing off. The siggys are pathetic. (signet rings). If and when the dirt starts to fly I hope they don’t decide to grace the USA with their odious presence. We don’t need any more snakes and slime.
      They’re the laughing stock of Britain, no? Or am I just so disgusted that I see it that way. I haven’t an iota of respect or sympathy for the passive enabler either. If you’re going to call yourself a leader, the **l e a d **.

  11. Is it me but at events she massively isn’t interested in, such as the commemoration of the Batltle of the Somme, Waity looks like she’s aged 20 years. But at events she is interested in she’s all fresh faced and hair?!

    1. Not just you – I totally agree!

      Miss you Love Lola -you always on target’ and well written with multiple royal protofail l (gosh, pushing POW out the way , for spotlight on lambridge kids at Trooping – HM next?). May not be a bad idea for the Firm protection place between waity middleton and HM, POW and Prince Henry senior royals – what a mess….). You never to get us quickly swallowing or risk choking!

  12. Lovely to see you back with us and in fine form – you cheered up a cold wet day in wintertime Sydney. I know not to have a mug or glass in hand when reading your observations least I make a mess I thought the white dress might have potential – but not with a g string underneath – the same can be said re her appearance at the air show. The new earrings did not grab me either – she would have done better to wear the diamond hoops with the pearl drops – particularly since her hair was down. She seriously needs a good stylist – not a flunky on staff.

  13. Back at KP, their media adviser Nick Something has left. According to the DM, he left because of his relationship with Harry’s assistant(but he dated Messy Deacon for 2 years). I’m not buying that line. We’re all aware of the staff exodus whose list increases every year. So what do you guys think?

  14. When he fires off his CV to prospective employers, I wonder if working for these two dumbasses will go against him because he’s not had much success.

    1. Yeah, there have been some real PR bombs on his watch. I understand he can only do so much with two unwilling clients but it still reflects poorly on him, especially Kate not attending the barracks parade because she doesn’t want to set up “expectations” that she’ll attend every year but then shows up at an event a day or two later with freshly dyed hair. And of course, William goes on and on about how he can’t work too much because he needs to be there for his children, like no other parent would love to be able to spend time with their children instead of having to work for a living…yep Jason has had a tough time with these two. But do have a tough time feeling too sorry for him, if he choices to stay then it’s his own fault.

      1. Oh geez, I can’t spell this morning ” but I do have a tough time feeling…….if he chooses….”

      2. Jason should have left ages ago; if he’s such a hotshot PR guy, he should be long gone from that silly job by now. Jason has two fools for clients who hijack whatever strategy he devises. For reasons past understanding they think they know better and/or are determined to stir themselves as little as possible. Why bother working for such dumb people? It would hardly do his reputation any good.

        1. Jason will do like the guy who left recently did and secure a position before he turns in his notice.

          And I have no doubts he’ll get another job as there are people who will hire him just to say that they have Prince William’s former publicist on their staff. A lot of people don’t see the gaffes like we do.

          1. Agreed. Wonder if he’s waiting to see if Helen Clark (former employer) gets the UN Secretary-General’s job and move back to her?

    2. I do not think so because he can ride his work with Harry and play dumb with Willnot and Cannot.

  15. I was pleased to see the return of the Packham dress; it’s truly lovely and has held up better than its wearer, unfortunately. So thin and haggard. On a related note, Kate needs more curves for the Casasola. Sometimes the Daily Mail shows pics of models in the same outfits Kate wears, and she always looks like a skeleton next to them. You are more likely to see bones on her back than cleavage. I feared the Casasola would fall off of her. Though she might have liked that. As for the old lady’s couch coat and hairnet, well, I firmly believe hairnets have a place on every food worker’s head and nowhere else, because who likes finding hair in their food? Now, if she wore some sort of a snood (, at least that would be an exciting risk. And the coat looked like something that smells like mothballs.

    As for the Queen, well, I like the color green to a fault, she can wear whatever she wants and get away with it because who the heck else is still working a full-time job at the age of 90? She’s a senior spitfire, and anyway who can blame her for going nuclear while trying to keep her family in line? That’s another full-time job in itself.

  16. So great to read your recent take on events Lola .. Missed reading your articulate writing ..
    Its so true Waity is so boring … They both are so irritating with their childish and arrogant ways its beyond all belief what they get away with …

  17. I’m visiting in the UK at the moment and happened to be at the Royal Air Tattoo that they went to. Didn’t see them at all but that’s for the better, I heard they were looking at the Red Arrows. I’ve happened to mention how I see W and K as lazy, self centered and insincere to a few people while in conversation but they all think they’re quite busy and serving the nation well. These are intelligent people by the way…there must be something in the drinking water here…just crazy!

    1. The intelligent people are probably very busy themselves and have neither the time nor inclination to look closely at what the BRF gets up to, let alone William and Kate. They assume that occasional photos in the news equates to ‘serving the nation well’ when a more forensic look reveals something else. So, the PR works as it is supposed to.

  18. Photos released of the Air Show visit with comments generally : 1) George more gorgeous 2) Kate’s dress and shoes so inappropriate for the event. Nothing new there.

    What about William? Last year here in Australia, a male morning TV host, in a silent protest of the scrutiny his female colleagues were subject to, wore the same suit every day for a year and no-one noticed. Do you think Bill’s constant wearing of the blue jacket/suit has a hidden agenda or it’s simply too much effort for him to have a choice of outfits.

    1. Ah, but William did wear a pair of his newer slim line pants that showed far too much of the royal jewels than we needed to see. They both have their own forms of flashing.

      1. I looked at the picture again. Was it for real (ewww) or just a crease playing tricks on us?

        1. Sadly that was not a crease playing tricks on us. Ever since he’s switched to this slimmer profile pants he’s been a bit overexposed at times.

          1. I think both William and Kate play a ‘commando’ game whenever they go out. Tee hee, aren’t they clever, naughty … or maybe they are just a pair of dicks. No-one is going to call them on it, because, you know, royal.
            If the kid looks miserable it’s because he has two losers for parents.

      2. Not just Wills. Harry has given us a bit of a show as did Edward this last week in Scotland.
        Maybe they all go commando.

  19. I missed you, Lola! Your blogging always beings me to squeals and tears laughing. Definitely & hands down my favorite Kate blog on the interwebs!!!

  20. I have had enough of this woman and her chopper husband…. at Wimbledon she is wearing a dress that costs £2.3k GBP – that is more than I take home in terms of salary a month on a good job! They have no idea how out of touch they appear to so many here in the UK….
    Since the beginning of June we have seen her a dozen times and her husband even less, some may say they have a young family to attend to but also want to appear normal — normal is going out to work five days a week and not having a full quota of household staff to help — appearing even more out of touch…
    I don’t buy the thought that they are going to Rio for the Games…. its two weeks if they go for the whole thing not including the Paralympics (I’m not being discriminative here but they didn’t show any support for the later whilst they were being held here in the UK so doubt they would show a hint of support for any other games) — would they really risk taking their young children who could become susceptible to Zika? Would they really show how great a set of parents they are by leaving their children back at home for two weeks whilst they head out for a non particularly taxing break in the sunny climate of Rio – lets face it the media would undoubtedly have little access to them whilst they are there so you wouldn’t be able to call it an ambassadorial tour…..Would they really risk the third pregnancy and child with Zika?

  21. “Kate is a fashion pendulum swinging in between sexy and elderly. ”
    True, so true! Good to see you, Lola, its been too long! Yes,she either looks like a Granny or like she’s about to jump out of a cake. There’s no in-between with this chick.

    And God, yes, they are a boring couple. But then, the most boring people are usually the most bored people too, as you pointed out with those pics of Whiny. He always looks bored. Hell, he looked bored at his own wedding.

  22. Good to see you writing again, Lola. I love your comment about them being like beige paint drying. That is the best description of these two I’ve ever read. I watched the video several times and can’t believe Kate pushed her way in front of Prince Charles like that to claim a primo spot on the balcony. I’m surprised there aren’t rules or rehearsals about who stands where. Prince Charles and Camilla should have been next to the Queen. I hope she got scolded for such blatant narcissism.

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