The Yarn Doll Duchess

On Thursday, Kate Middleton had two events.  During the first, Kate met with former drug and alcohol addicts and screened three of the three minute short films from the Recovery Street Film Festival.  The second event was the screening of the film A Street Cat Named Bob about the journey of a homeless recovering addict and an injured stray cat as they rescue each other.

Kate wore a white dress by Self-Portrait, deep red Gianvito Rossi court shoes, a Mulberry Clutch and a poppy pin.


Basically, Kate looked like she stood in front of a mirror, said “Bloody Mary” three times and then stole summoned ghost bitch’s look.


The wind appeared to be even more over Kate’s growing doily dress collection than the rest of us because it attempted to physically rip the dress off her body.  This still is screen grabbed from the video Emily Nash posted on Instagram.


According to one weather source, November weather happens every November in London.


The dress didn’t look much better indoors.  Kate looked like one of those yarn dolls.


It’s surprising the film’s star, Bob, didn’t take to Kate more, cats are supposed to like playing with yarn.


Bob flicked his tail back and forth while Kate stroked the top of his head.  As anyone who speaks cat knows, that’s a feline warning sign that kitty is not in his happy place, cease and desist all activity or it’s about to go down.  Reportedly Kate asked Bob’s human if the feline film star was purring or growling.  To Bob’s credit, he resisted shredding the doily dress but he’ll have to work on throwing a proper diva tantrum if he hopes to make it in Hollywood.



49 thoughts on “The Yarn Doll Duchess”

  1. Yarn doll duchess!! You think of the funniest nicknames!! Sometimes I wonder if she doesn’t own a mirror… does she even see herself? She looks wretched like this with that mop of hair and billowy curtain fabric dress!!

      1. So somehow I stumbled across this atrocity and how regrettable it has been.
        The atrocity is not the dress – it’s the petty, vitriollic, petulant troll that authors this pathetic diatribe and the army of opionionated peasants that stuggle with their relevance to the world.
        Do something productive with your existance you oxygen and kilobyte thieves.

        1. Small world, I just received criticism from someone else in very close proximity to you which is especially curious when my silly little blog doesn’t often get this type of negative feedback. Must be something in that New South Wales water. Maybe you’ll run into each other at the Top Fuel Cafe and can split some chips. Perhaps you should do something more productive with your time than lashing out at us. The only thief is you, trying to steal a little bit of harmony from this wonderful group of readers who enrich both this community and the world. I’m fresh out of fucks to give, however, so it looks like this wasn’t a terribly productive use of your oxygen.

          1. The opinionated peasants are who the royal family works for. They hold zero political authority. They are ceremonial figureheads funded by taxpayers. They need the “peasants” not the other way around.

    1. I always think to myself, ‘does she not have any gay friends?’ She needs a sassy, gay friend who will tell her the truth and stop her from leaving the palace in an adult sized baptismal dress with an up to the kooka slit.

      1. It looks better on Paris – it fits properly and suits her petite frame. Mind you – Paris is inside and has her hair up so you don’t get the wind effect of billowing dress and hair.

        1. With the Cubs winning the World Series and Paris Hilton being more demure than royalty maybe the end times are truly upon us…. oh wait it’s Kate and it’s been a month since her last almost flash.

  2. It’s the vintage look that is supposedly so popular with aristocrats at the moment. She wants to show she’s in that circle. And maybe she pulls out long, flowy, white dresses when she feels threatened, (Meghan Markle?) to subconsciously trigger wedding memories in William? I dunno…it’s an ugly dress, basically.

  3. I can just picture the scene:

    “And what shall you wear for this evening’s engagement, Ma’am? It’s a typically cool and windy November day.”

    “Oh, I think I’ll go with my trademark flowing locks and white gown. Look, I have a spring-time dress that will look ever so glamourous in the breeze. And a new wiglet, direct from virgin Indian scalp. Oooh. I think I made a joke! See, I do have a sense of humour.”

    “Yes Ma’am. If I might point out that the thigh-high slit threatens a repeated exposure of the royal hoo-ha.”

    “Yes, Tash. The operative word here is almost. That’s high fashion. I was in Vogue, remember? I know these things.”

    “Very well, Ma’am. Will you be wearing knickers tonight? It might get chilly.”

    “Oh, I suppose. And suede shoes, too. Red, because I’m sexy.”

    “Yes Ma’am. And they’ll match your poppy broach.”

    “Oh, I hate broaches. They get stuck in my hair. ”

    “You could wear your hair in an updo.”

    “Oh, Tash! You have a sense of humour, too!”

    1. “Oh, I hate broaches. They get stuck in my hair. ”
      “You could wear your hair in an updo.”

      graymatters – Waity’s poppy brooch was hidden by her hair at the Remembrance Day program at Albert Hall, which caused many DM commentators to wonder why she wasn’t wearing one. When told that her hair was hiding it, the responses were that she should have worn her hair up!

      Good call!

  4. This was a very welcome laugh after being bashed all day with story after story of Harry’s fling. Kate doesn’t really seem to dress with any regards to actual weather reports. Someone should just build her a little bubble so she can walk outside without being assaulted by the elements.

    As for Bob, I once crossed the street when I saw two cats circling each other with their ears flat to their heads. I wanted to be no where near the fight that ensued. Kate could have been cut to ribbons by that kitty. I’m so happy he was very tolerant with her. Although he may have made alterations to that dress that would make it better.

    Dare I say it? I miss the inept Kate outings. Ms. Markle is pulled together, humanitarian minded and can speak well blah blah blah but until it’s confirmed or there’s a ring on it I’m going to attempt to not pay much attention any more. It may mean completely avoiding most social media or just scrolling right by the stories, but I value my sanity more than knowing how many members of the BRF she’s met to date.

    That being said, I wonder how someone like her would affect Kate. Would she pull herself out of her doldrums and get to work because she’s got competition? Or would she curl up like a pill bug and just roll into a corner never to be seen or heard from again. I’m sure on the outside they’d make nicey nice faces at each other but I don’t see a friendship like Diana and Sarah had regardless of how much Meaghan looks like she could be a branch on the Middleton girls tree.

    In our dream for Harry to find someone with anti-Kate qualities we have conjured up Meghan Markle. I just hope it’s all worth it and if not it goes quietly away and we can get back to our normal, whatever that is.

    1. Hi Lisa, If the Meghan / Harry romance goes anywhere, I do not see Kate making any further effort to work. IMO, as far as she is concerned, all of her work was done prior to William putting a ring on it, and now that she has produced the heir and a spare, she can take it easy from here on out. The public kissy faces will be nauseating, and you know that in private Kate will lord over Meghan (or whomever Harry weds), that she will be queen one day and they will not.

  5. She had flashing withdrawals after her relatively flash-free Canadian holiday, excuse me, working tour. It is indeed an ugly dress (yarn, but at least it did not cost her father-in-law thousands as most of her ugly dresses do. Naturally, Rebecca English tweeted that she ‘stunned’, and not in the wtf is she wearing way.

    Bob is cute – ginger kitties are the best!

  6. This dress is a sad bad mad long straggly haired sister of the outfit she wore to the garden party in Canada. Is she going for a sexy mommy/ nighty up nighty down bait and switch to keep Wills on toes? So hard to tell, but sadly I think this is her fashion sense showing. Ooopsie. What’s that saying? You can give a horse a shit ton of money and lead it to the most amazing talented design houses in the world but you can’t make it….drink?? Something like that. Anyway- India memorial wreath laying 2.0 (without the dirty look)

  7. Cats instinctively know the real deal from the fake. I commend Bob on his refusal to bend the paw. Kate asking the difference between a growl and a purr? This is all she can ask? What a numptie.

    I’m more curious about the gathered crowds. Are they paid to be there? It was a nippy November evening and the usual practice of dragging school children away from classes to provide the illusion of interest in royals would not have been an option. The unconvincing ‘whoa’ from one lone person as Kate exited the car reminded me of those poor souls who are paid to whip up audience enthusiasm at the taping of TV shows. At any rate, Kate did not acknowledge the gathered crowd so I’d guess she knew they were not the real deal either.

    The blowy dress… this woman is so obsessed with her body and letting everyone see it; if turning up naked was an option, she would take it.

    1. That’s strange. I wonder if she was the only member of the press they let in or if they changed their mind about keeping the press out. Thanks for the heads-up, I’ll take that part out.

      1. Maybe they needed one press member to document so she could get two engagements in the CC out of this outing.

    2. I think Emily… Someone… tweeted that the press was embargoed from the first engagement because of “security”. It does seem odd. I assumed that any press embargo would be in place to provide anonymity to the addicts and other people the Cambridges visit in pursuit of mental health. That would actually show some sensitivity.

  8. Somehow she reminds me of a witch in that picture with the cat. The stooped back, belly pushed out, and the hair mop covering half of her emaciated body in ill fitting clothes– simply awful.

    1. If the Meghan/Harry romance is true and Ms. Markle continues to garner press, I have no doubt that Kate will move heaven & earth to get pregnant. If William will not cooperate, then I expect pictures with stooped posture to accentuate her stomach, belly rubbing, etc. in order to fuel speculation. And of course some leaks to the press from “sources”.

  9. I was hoping that Bob would grab at the swinging mass of hair and pull the wiglets and extensions out.

  10. So Weightless was going to an event to publicise the work of Action on Addiction (or ‘Addiction on Action’, as Kate pronounces it) and potentially to draw attention to homelessness (William’s big cause) so she wears a brand new, white, split to the thigh gown so that’s all the press comments on? Other than struggling to identify basic animal noises (and surely Charlotte has a toy that teaches just that sort of thing lying about) did she say anything about addiction?

  11. Ugh Just so ghastly … always wanting to dhow knickers she is one sick girl child … dress is awful for an outing to film premiere again doily dolly strikes again
    just love Dear Lolas Take on the night events
    very witty and funny

  12. That dress was inappropriate on several levels and she seems to give mixed messages with it The thigh high slit blowing in the wind says look at me, but her body language says awkward, closed & lacking confidence. She barely acknowledged the crowd.

    Even if that dress was the right choice under other circumstances, why is she wearing daytine pumps with it? A gown at a movie premiere should be worn with an evening shoe. A deep red velvet ankle strap would have been gorgeous. Her wardrobe is perfunctory, just like her.

  13. That dress with the leg showing, shows how incredibly long waisted she is, with really short legs, in other words it doesn’t do her any favors !!!

  14. Thank you for the laugh! Bob’s reaction to Kate is perfect. I speak Cat as well and Bob was not happy and did not like her. Bob is smart. I like Bob. 😀

    This was actually a fairly minor wardrobe malfunction for Kate and I get the vibe that she absolutely intended to display her legs and flash as much as possible. I think it’s a compulsion and that she has some sort of mental illness that makes her flash her body inappropriately and repeatedly. I think there’s some underlying issue that motivates her flashing, but I can only speculate… At this point, without wearing a floppy tent in windy weather, she is so dull that she wouldn’t be noticed. She’s been wearing a lot of boho mumu style dresses and it’s not a good look, elegant or flattering. She reeks of insecurity and desperation, imo. Not a good look at all.

  15. I love that Bob knew she was a faker. Has she never been around cats at all? Because it sure looked like she’d never touched one before. And that ‘dress’, I think it must have come from Queen Victoria- her night gown!

  16. I will admit that I came here today because I desperately needed a laugh. Your witty humour is like an antidote to all the frustration and sadness I’m feeling today.

    So thank you.

  17. This may not belong in this thread exactly but it’s not regarding Harry or Markle either. Saw this on another site, with link to d listed.

    I’m just finding these figures beyond OBSCENE!

    With all the increased worry and fear now and of course ongoing poverty and struggle for so many, I just can’t!!! All vestiges of respect for KP have completely evaporated! I find this totally unjustifiable! PLEASE someone HOLD. THEM. ACCOUNTABLE! This is NOT ok! Too many needs in the world and real pain, for this to be slid under the rug unnoticed and unchallenged!

  18. Lola please look in to Princess Claire of Luxembourg. this month she & Prince Felix welcomed their 2nd child & 1st son. Thanks!

  19. Dear Lola ~ Thinking of you and miss seeing a new witty post pop up from you. Sending positive thoughts and bests wishes that you are happy, healthy and doing well.
    My Onyx sends doggie hellos to Nightwing.
    Take care.

  20. Lola, why so quiet?

    Are you struggling, like many of us, to make sense of the recent election?

    I understand if you are because I am.

    Speak soon.

  21. Dear Miss, Lovelolaheart, I see you have closed the Meghan post. I apologize if my posts got a bit too salty at times. The sheer volume of articles on a couple that have never even been seen together just intrigued me. That KP office issued a letter that was so out of character from anything in the past. I know William released one but it was about his young children not a 35 year old actress with a public blog. When reporters quoted directly from her blog in their articles, for example. where in MM said her Mom had dreadlocks they were slammed. Articles going back to 2013. call her black. . So many different stories about when & how they met etc added to my curiosity. When anew acquaintance of my oldest daughter who worked for years in Toronto as a bartender shared some info from their friends still living in Toronto about Miss M it shed a lot of light for me on her and her methods. The fact that her friend Lindsay’s, (who has a blog too and got her wedding dress comped thanks to bridesmaid MM…. father is a lawyer for Norton Rose Fullbright just make the whole thing slimy to me. At any rate. my ranting is done on the subject. Thank you for blog! I wish you the best! PH & MM too!

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