Pippa Middleton’s Wedding

On Saturday, one of the most famous bridesmaids of the last decade got to be the bride.  Pippa Middleton, also known as the other Wisteria Sister, married hedge-fund manager James Matthews in lavish royal-adjacent fashion.

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Pippa looked beautiful and blissfully happy, reminding us why we all love weddings, even ones we think we don’t particular care about until the media gently reminds us that apathy is not an option.

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I wasn’t particularly a fan of Pippa’s custom guipure lace gown by Giles Deacon and the Maidenhair Fern tiara.  With the lace, high collar, and molded feel of the bodice, it was a little too Victorian Wonder Woman as interpreted by Zack Snyder for my taste.

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But of course, after seeing how jacked Pippa’s arms are now, I wouldn’t say that to her face.

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The Daily Mail has a multitude of articles with a vast amount of photos of the wedding, including one in which you can sort of see Meghan Markle being driven to the reception by Prince Harry.  Her absence from the church ceremony almost overshadowed the bride on social media as royal watchers wondered if there would be a royal wedding in the not-so-distant future.

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Kate served as an unofficial bridesmaid to her sister, doing some flower girl and page boy wrangling. There’s a great photo of Kate shushing the kids that made the cover of the Sunday Express.

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Kate also helped with straightening her sister’s veil and dress.

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In quite a few photos, Kate appears to be looming behind Pippa like acid reflux.

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After the ceremony, Prince George had a little mini meltdown.  Reportedly, it was in response to Kate scolding him for stepping on Pippa’s train, but who knows.  He could have been cranky because he’s three and at a wedding.  Princess Charlotte had a couple of moments of being two at a wedding but she was two like a pro and quickly recovered.

The Duchess of Cambridge’s style is always soooo mother-of-the-bride and this dusty peach Alexander McQueen dress which she paired with a Jane Taylor hat and Kiki McDonough earrings was no exception.

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It’s totally WKRP in Cincinnati and not in a good way.

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I mean, come on, the actual mother-of-the-bride, Carole Middleton, looked more youthful.

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Although Carole and Kate both went so heavy on the blush, I couldn’t get Judy Collins’ version of “Send in the Clowns” out of my head.

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Send in the clowns
Don’t bother, they’re here

Seriously, the ladies of the Moulin Rouge didn’t wear that much rouge.

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Hey sistas, soul sistas, betta get that dough sistas

I noticed Kate’s rings were doing an awful lot of slipping.  She was wearing her eternity band so they shouldn’t have slipped that far up towards her knuckle.  Hopefully she’s okay.

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While the wedding wasn’t a royal union, the taxpayers still have to pick up the tab for security because of the attendance of the second, third, fourth and fifth in line to the throne.  St. Mark’s church was closed on Friday evening for security sweeps, as were various roads, including the one taken by James and Pippa to the reception in a Jaguar, doing a royal-adjacent wave to those who had gathered to wish the newlyweds well.

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Congratulations to the happy couple!

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64 thoughts on “Pippa Middleton’s Wedding”

  1. I thought she looked lovely, I would love to see reception pictures and her second dress as well as Chutney’s, but everyone was saying it was a half million dollar wedding, and all I could think of was at least a million,which is basically average for celebrity weddings. That looked like 50,000 dollars worth of flowers at the front of the church, and they were really gorgeous. Chutney had a lot to do herding 6 toddlers and assisting with Pippa’s veil. Is it just me but I think her and Chopper are on the outs!!!

    1. Thank you Lola and welcome back!

      Waity was god awful as usual sporting double fits in McQueen suit that was badly tailored for her bones. The deep v also show a really bony and aging chest lime a over 70 her old sagging skin look.

      Only waity middleton would be such a sick way of speaking to a three year old, even if he step on Pips 40k gown (compared to the now 700,000 est cost of this circus middelton mess!). Waity telling off the royal kid to ‘shut up ‘ in public and her manic panic attack, seem so over the top.

      Lets see if this snowflake will keep up the work with royal duties and charities to the people giving her 7.5kearrings and McQueen gown to middleton private event – instead of the lazy useless, waste of space her and bill middleton are.

  2. Wow, for a Swedish girl that is a lot of money.

    So why didn’t Pippa afford some hairdresser to do a more nice updo than that flat helmet? The poor husband would have needed some haircare also.

    I also am not to fond of the harness bra thingy she is wearing. Also not very fond of the thinness. A womans body is more beautiful when it is not completely dieted to be flat as a stone.

    But the couple did look happy!

    I am soo happy to get your posts Lola. Miss you terrible.

  3. Hi Lola and Nightwing!

    Great post and just a short comment to say that Carole was not only heavy on the blush, she seemed to have gone heavy on the botox and fillers too.

    1. The high neck and chest area was too heavy with that material especially, for her boney frame – manly arms.

      The really blank out Meghan and what she wore. Almost as if Prince Harry sneek Meghan in. Meghan’s no show was overshadowing pips on the news, blogs. How is this royal protocol – this is not a formal official event. its just pips carol middleton , wanna be hangers on climbing ….and Meghan already attended a wedding with Prince Harry, so this is Middleton ban, to only sneak her in the Reception.

      Carol pips middleton using her brother to fund the Wisteria sisters/boyish gross looking james czar (before whiny bill) didn’t bother to invite their bank Uncle Garys wife nor was he and his family invited to ‘I am a Prince’ property of thE Reception!

    2. First thing I noticed, too- Carole’s face looked fresh with fillers.

      Kate’s rings were probably slipping from the cold weather. My rings do that, too. (And her draped blush dress looked like a fancy nightgown for a retiree. Not chic at all.)

    3. Carole Middleton is now suffering from Pumpkin-head-itis. But what can you do?

      You go to the Doctor, tell him you want to look young , like a spring chicken, he hears ‘I want to look like an Autumn vegetable’.
      You wake up, scream. He looks at your face in satisfaction saying, ‘Job done’.

  4. Lola, ya know you would think with all the plastic surgery, she has had done, she would have had her tata’s done in her youth,before she married Chopper!!!

  5. Welcome back Lola! I wasn’t a fan of anything except the flowers for this shindig. The top of the dress kind of reminded me of Maggie Gyllenhaal’s white lace Chanel she wore to the Oscars a long time ago but the Chanel was much better. The bride and groom looked happy so I hope that continues for them.

  6. Kate, 1940’s styles looked awful at the time and still do. She looks demented but good on her for not upstaging the bride. Pippa’s dress fits beautifully but the high neckline and (shudder) cap sleeves ruin it. Good for displaying the Popeye arms though. She still looks like Wallis Simpson.

  7. I thought Kate’s dress looked dreadful. The colour washed her out. The clown blusher OTT.

  8. Say what you want, but I’d be crying too if I was forced to wear those hideous costumes. I’d never do that to my kids

  9. I tried so hard yesterday not to click on any links but in the end my weakness got the better of me. Thought Pips looked lovely. That’s about all the nice stuff I have to say, well Pips and the flowers round the church. A wide angle view would have been good but we only have the pap shots, for the real goodies we will need to buy the magazine! Anyone know who she sold out to?

    Now for the snark! There’s sooooo much… What on earth has Ma Middleton done to her face? Who chose those ridiculous page boy outfits? Poor George, but then he is used to being dressed that way. He’s obv not used to Kate though – it was telling how uncomfortable he was. What about Marshmallow James and Donna Air? Something very uncomfortable going on there. Why was Uncle Gary’s wife not invited? Why was his daughter (Pip’s cousin) not a bridesmaid? WHERE WAS WILLIAM? So intrigued by the story he never pitched for the reception. What was Roger Federer doing there? And so bummed to miss out on seeing Princess Sparkle. I really only clicked to see her. And how awful was Kate! Looked bad, acted stressed and cross and got her manic grin / scowly droopy cheeked and slouched posture in Every. Single. Picture. You’re not the bride Kate. Take your 1940’s cosplay and go stand at the side.

    Anyway Pips looked lovely. Hope they are happy and go away and are never heard from again and I can read actual (sort of) news in the DM from now on. This past month has been tedious.
    Love that you are back Lola – missed this site so much!

  10. Well, if you can’t be royal, be royal-adjacent! When I saw the coverage of this nonevent yesterday, I was so hoping that you would weigh in. I think Kate has finally found her life’s calling: royal hoverer.

  11. So terrible that Caroles only brother was only allowed at the church abd his daughter was supposed to be a bridesmaid and to be told that they hadn’t been invited to englefield house for champagne canapes plus not even bern invited to bfast in the greenhouse ..plus his wife of 5 years not even been invited ..This family are so up themselves manipulaters in enth degree.
    plus spencers girlfriend was told she was not invited as not a socialite only a celebrity and was girlfriend of short time unreal.
    This was a total show off wedding to have the two in limelight pipps camera action play. .and her sister like a limpet clinging to limelight ..
    have no time for these money grabbing headlines they are very strange lot ., its all about money and them self promoting constantly in media ..
    they have certainly brought BRF into a celebrity D list situation
    and what on earth has the mother done to her face so puffy .
    sorry if she is ill but it looks like to many fillers and botox .
    its looks like a puff ball .

    1. +100
      Totally agree to the threads.

      Waity middleton with the thousands spent on high designer suit – costly bribe earrings – had double two set of boobs in photos with amateur kiddie makeup.

  12. Yay, it’s over! In the immortal words of Homer Simpson, “Let us never speak of this again”.

  13. It’s been exhausting having to navigate real news around the daily updates of Pippa Middleton’s wedding plans. Given the bride and groom are approaching middle age or have past it (in his case) this whole affair read like a very young woman indulging her 4-year old princess self: it’s all about me, me, me! Didya hear me?! MEEEE!

    Aesthetically, the flowers were lovely, if in danger of suffocating the church. The children were dressed with a Gainsborough vibe in mind. Guests behaved well as props. The bride prim in her high-necked lace, knew where all the cameras were, as per usual. Her ‘demure’ looking back to the cameras as she entered the church was particularly calculating. She’ll never go away.

  14. Kate wasn’t even making eye contact with any of the kids in that obviously posed Shush picture. Unless there is a hidden kid looking at her, no other child was.

    Her looming behind Pippa was also pretty pathetic… let Pippa have her day because it’s not like you didn’t have yours. She isn’t unfamiliar with photo lines so it’s not like she didn’t know that she would be in the shot with James and Pippa.

    Also, boob flaps, that was a pathetically fitted dress. But maybe she has lost a lot of weight since the last fitting. I didn’t notice the ring almost loose on her finger, but yikes that is not a good sign. In any case her blush looked like a Charlotte put it on for her. She can’t do her makeup properly and needs to get a professional.

    As for William the father who could be bothered to even pose with his kids in their attire or help his wife wrangle kids, yeah something is going on there. Another blog suggested that perhaps Harry was invited to be William’s babysitter and I am inclined to believe that. Especially as once Harry was going to get Meghan then suddenly William is nowhere to be found. Maybe he was pouting since Carole has been too busy to make cheesy toast for him.

    I thought Pippa did look her best, even if that means a bit too orange and a bit too thin, but I suspect she will be the one who enjoys married life the most, despite the lack of title.

    1. Seriously, the last time I saw such a heavy, powdery makeup job was at the wake of someone who’d died of liver disease with severe jaundice.

    2. That’s what I noticed. None of the kids are looking at her and she’s not looking at them. That was for the cameras and probably thought the pose made her cheeks look even narrower! She was going with doting but firm loving sister but came off all shrewish. If she ate more she’d be less cross, ask all those irritable models. The blush was indeed clownish, ridiculous.

      1. It was not just the ‘Shush’ photo that was staged. Kate deliberately separated Charlotte from the bunch of kids and this is where the pics occur. She was not interested in the other very young 2.5 year old, or the other kids at all. The pics of her looming far too often behind the bride and groom, like a third wheel, was just pathetic. Pips had her own game going on too. These two are are really only fit to be mocked.

  15. I’m mostly just so pissed at how Kate treats George versus how she treats Charlotte. So telling how she was trying to pose for the Mother of the Year awards, despite Maria being in her Norland uniform nearby. Charlotte licks her flower basket, Kate fawns over her. George maybe steps on Pippa’s train, Kate lectures him to tears. Ugh. That poor boy.

    Pippa looked lovely and blissfully happy and in love, so did James. May they have a long happy marriage!

    1. I realize that Charlotte is the 2nd coming of St. Diana, but I am surprised that the apparent future King!George!VII! is not the favorite, especially considering how focused Waity is on titles.

  16. I thought Pippa looked lovely. While I am sick of lace thanks to her sister, I’ll give her a pass since it’s her wedding day. She and James look really happy together.

    Kate’s dress is one of the ugliest she has worn. The color does absolutely nothing for her. Personally, I thought she was going for a grandmother of the bride look. Really, if you are not suffering from a life threatening illness, you should not look older than your own mother. About the design of her dress, I saw on another site (not sure which one) the suggestion that it was a mix of two separate McQueen designs. Bodice from one with a pencil skirt and then a shortened skirt from the long green gown that Kate wore to a Sports Banquet. Kate needs to stop this nonsense of having designers take bits and pieces from different designs and putting them together for a bespoke version. It doesn’t work.

    1. The dress also showed just how scrawny she is with the rib bones and chest bones being so noticeable. Kate was never that thin when she was fit in university and does not look healthy anymore. It is ageing and has to play a role in her anxiety and control issues. Someone should get her help because she is clearly not a well adjusted 35 year old.

    2. I read that when Pippa was a child she said she wanted to get married in tennis whites. Her form-fitting dress reflects that.

  17. Sue, it must be really hard to fit long waisted individuals, the designers always seem to always fit her waist up under her chest to give the illusion of long legs. I reckon they can only come up with so many looks, that said, my mama always said you do the best with what you got.

  18. Pippa looked happy and pretty – amazing what a decent makeup artist and a slightly more fashionable dress can do for a Middleton. The lace was a bit stiff and her torso looked mega long, but overall so much nicer than Waity. Other things I liked? The heart-shaped flowers held by the sprogs.

    I also really enjoyed the weird dynamics and chemistry – James trying to hug Donna Air? She’s not a good enough actress to pull that off convincingly (as anyone who’s seen The Mummy can testify). The case of the disappearing Chopper pilot? Willy was mentally checked out on the way into the church and in no way interested in helping out with his own kids. Did he scoot off early and miss reception in the glass marquee with posh portaloos?

    I also enjoyed Waity spending thousands on the most beige, putty, bland-o outfit in history. Floppy and wrinkled and bespoke. Great work.

    Overall, great fun!

    1. When I read that I got the picture in my head that William has a new mistress he was eager to go to….

  19. Did not appreciate having to see Waity’s frighteningly bony chest in that awful dress. Also, did she forget to wear a bra? Sorry to be so blunt, but in some photos you could clearly see her nipples. Ugh.

  20. I have to admit Pips did look good; I was surprised. I wasn’t however at the horrible way Waity looked. Could she have picked a worse outfit? What is wrong with her??? Ma’s face looked like it was ready to explode she was so bloated with botox.
    I felt so sorry for Georgie, he missed his mummy, I mean nanny Maria.

    1. Mummy, er, Nanny Maria was there, in all of her Norland uniformed splendor. But that would ruin the narrative of Kate as supermum, so there were no picture of Maria engaging with the little ones.

      Agree with the rest :
      Pippa – beautiful!
      Waity – horrible
      Ma – filler/botox central. She looked like Queen Letizia, or, to be honest, almost all of my maternal female relatives over the age of 45.

  21. It’s lovely that you are back writing again! Astute and funny as always.
    Wisteria Hedge did look like a very happy bride!

  22. I agree with people’s assessment of Kate’s dress. In observing all the pictures of her lately at various events, the poor thing desperately needs some sort of stylist to advise her. She’s no Diana when it comes to fashion sense. I mean, really, did she even look in the mirror before she left the house???

  23. It seems since Pippa’s engagement that she has appeared both happy and relaxed, content if you will and on her wedding day, she looked serene and radiant, not like she’d merely triumphantly married in to lots of money! James also looked very happy and proud of his bride. The best man also said in his speech that Pippa made James very happy.

    So I was surprised to see the distance between them and their unhappy faces in the report about them transiting at LAX. Tired is one thing, after a big wedding, all the planning etc. But no doubt they were able to sleep comfortably in First or Business class despite the length of the flight. It seemed like more than mere tiredness. I’m wondering whether it really was more a marriage of convenience? I’m sure they’re genuinely friends with each other but are they truly madly in love?

  24. I’m afraid I’m not buying it with Pippa and James Matthews.
    They were together years ago, she saw lots of other people afterwards and now she’s gone back to him.
    My guess is that the Middleton money is low and by marrying him she’s guaranteed herself a life time of cash.
    I recon they’ll divorce after 5 years and she’ll take his cash with her.

    1. Genetically, I don’t think Middleton’s can let go of money once they’ve attached themselves to it. Pippa has made no secret of her desire to live well on some man’s money rather than earn it herself. It’s in her DNA.

      Time was running out for Pippa. In her twenties, she had both youth and the cachet of being royal-adjacent. But as relationships faltered, writing opportunities failed, and she became better known as a predator, choices narrowed.

      If she makes James happy, good. Who knows what makes Pippa happy? Maybe she’s cottoned on that a man who adores her is worth more than ‘stuff’? I’m not holding my breath. She took up the charity route eg marathons a couple of years ago on the advice of William as the way to re-invent herself as wife material to the society set. Since the Middleton’s have no track record in charitable work it is difficult to move past their insatiable thirst to consider they care about others

      I’m not convinced by the pics at LAX; video would have given a better idea of dynamics. All I see are two ordinary people waiting in line, probably tired even after flying First or Business Class and the previous days/weeks. With nothing to sell, no knowledge of the camera, no need to smile.

  25. But it would be even harder for her to find a willing partner for a second marriage if she did that….

  26. Kathryn i agree with you! I hope it does not happen James Mathews does not deserve it. J.M. comes across as a decent guy.
    The daily mail has pictures of Prince George in a car on the way to wedding & he is not wear a seat belt! Please find the link, because i am not great find the link. I am not from England so is car seats for children not required

  27. I am so done with lace. I would be thankful if I never saw another lace dress again.
    Pip looked happy, so did the groom
    But she really needs to put some meat on her bones. She looks older due to her extreme thinness. As for her arms… I am all for strong women…but muscles, lace and flowers is not a good combination

  28. The good: Pippa’s dress was lovely, much more so than Kate’s Fembots poking out boring gown. The children were adorable (I’d keep an an eye out for the rascal with the fingers). Eugenie’s beautiful dress. The flowers.

    The bad: Pippa copying Kate’s wedding, down to the exotic vintage car, with Pips and Jim waving to the unwashed masses. The guests’ attire – almost all looked like they were going to a trailer park wedding.

    The ugly: Kate’s monstrosity of a dress. I had an exact copy from Talbot’s in the 80’s, and I threw it out – too awful for charity. No William around. The spitfire and the light show. Too New York bar mitzvah tacky. My daughter had a gorgeous wedding in D.C.It was perfect with beautiful flowers, great band, fantastic food, and best of all: we knew we were going to have 200 pluspeople, so we searched for a venue that would fit all the people our family, the groom’s family, and especially daughter and son-in-law wanted, within reason.

    1. Lola, I missed you and your wit. I hope you are on the road to better health. I always feel great after reading your blog, and the funny and profound comments of your “gang.”

  29. Well we are certainly sick and tired of seeing about this completely obscene publicity given to nobodys really,..
    after what has happened in Manchester complete atrocity then we see a picture of the greenhouse with trees up and down it well the guy she married is a billionaire and he paid for it and the middlebums got so much free 50 range rovers provided to ferry guests , free spitfire , and so much more was donated but it was so pushed into our faces about how much it was all costing well in these austere times think its disgraceful in uk when people like this constantly go on about money and wealth its totally just so obscene .. If weddings have soared into the enquiries that daily fail are promoting then brides will have to have deep deep pockets to spend 56,000 pounds on champagne alone
    This publicity has not endeared them to the Great British Public .
    it has come across as tacky tacky ………

  30. I thought Pippa looked good – but would have liked to see a different neckline on the dress. The flowers were beautiful, and the bridal couple looked genuinely happy. What is up with Wills ? Generally you see married couples together at some point during a wedding . . . . and he didn’t go to the receptions ? Perhaps he had an afternoon work shift to turn up to ??? 🙂

  31. Agh.. again today we are barraged with pictures of ostentatious tacky wedding and now its wedding favours in darn mallows really surprise …. thought they would get free promotion somehow… in daily fail.. we are totally sick of all the pictures in paper especially when we have terrible atrocity in Manchester and other more headlines rather than going on about this over the top in your face wedding .. The world events happening are more real time and much more important than giving this money grabbing woman headlines she is not Royal just related thats all

  32. I totally agree with Daisy. I live in Manchester and the events surrounding the bombing at the Arena, killing children,teenagers and adults is horrific.
    I couldn’t believe the DM was posting about marshmallow wedding favours supplied from Boomf bankrupt brother.
    Manchester has stood together ….The vigil last night….The one minute silence today at 11am. The Queen coming to Manchester Childrens Hospital today to visit the injured children and the staff who have worked over and above their alloted shifts.The first responders were magnificent.
    I could go on, but I’m sure all you lovely posters have read in the press all the updates.
    So, no I’m not interested in in Pippas’s wedding favours.
    Sorry for the rant,but I love my city.

    1. Isnt it so good to see how many flowers etc have been laid in Manchester.. Everyone so helpful with the atrocity that has happened. So pleased you agree Matmat.. The people that were out to enjoy the concert and to be massacred in this cruel way its so awful… have really been upset by this awful event … and I did get really cross with paper going on about rubbish mallow favours when we have had this happen ..
      I think its about time the papers printed whats important not darn garbage about how much the wedding cost its all about materialistic things with the middle trashians .

      1. Thank you Daisy.
        To prove Manchester will not be defeated by this atrocity…..the weekend was The Manchester athletics and The Great Manchester Run.
        Thousands lined the streets to watch both these events. It was a triumph for Manchester.
        I can’t post pics, but there are lots in the British Press.

  33. Matmat, I am so very sorry about your countrymen and teens and tweens, my prayers go out to you all!!!

  34. A quiz for me to determine which Middleton sister I am showed up on my FB feed, since they are evidently “taking the world by storm”. I did not take the quiz because any result other than, “you are far too kind, smart, confident, and unselfish to be either of these twits” would be unacceptable. And I didn’t want a bunch of “Why Princess Kate Is Our #Goals” b.s. clogging up my feed.

    1. I took it for shits and giggles and apparently I’m “a total Pippa”, that is, “a laid-back fitness buff who’s a total trendsetter in her own right”. LIKE, TOTALLY!

  35. I’m seeing a ridiculous number of stories about Pippa on her honeymoon etc in DM Online. I’m sure part of it is contractual, she’s got deals with various companies in return for publicity, maybe to pay off some of her recent expenses. And she’s probably about to launch a new business that she wants lots of attention for.

    But as hard as it must be to live in Kate’s shadow, if I were Pippa, I would be so embarrassed at the lengths her PR team have gone to and the desperation she is showing by sanctioning or inviting a lot of it.

    Most of all, some of the phrasing in the articles is incredibly cringeworthy. I suspect she’s sticking up 2 fingers at aristo types who treated her as if she didn’t measur up but all this is overkill! Just be happy with the life you have chosen, Pippa and live your OWN life! Seriously, the fact she takes this embarrassingly OTT PR approach, the girl must have very thick skin! I just don’t know why she thinks ANYTHING could be worth the mockery she’s making of herself, her husband and her family.

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