Here’s the story of Our Fair Waity…
On Thursday, Kate Middleton had an event at the V&A Museum in London. She opened a wing or a can of tuna or something… I mean at this point, does anyone even care?
The event scarcely showed up on my Twitter feed even though Kate had a new outfit and everything, suggesting most of us have been dulled into a glazed state of apathy by the future Queen Consort.
The £1,790 ($2,700 USD) Gucci dress was, as always, an absolute waste of money because it was too tight and ill-fitting on her. The retro tweed mini dress, which could have been cute on its own in a proper size, was paired with block heeled shoes and nude tights making it all so Marcia Brady.
No word if Kate was able to get Davy Jones to play at her senior prom.
At the event, Kate unveiled a plaque.
If a plaque is there, but no one unveils it, does it even matter?
I doubt it. It looks like people were putting their cigarettes out on the plaque in the days leading up to the unveiling.
The fact that these plaques are out, hidden on the day of the event, then revealed seems rather silly. Unless Kate suddenly makes an elephant disappear like Harry Houdini did in 1918 at the Hippodrome Theatre, I don’t really care what she’s got behind a curtain.
Kate not only continues to sleep-walk through her role, she seems to have a sensitivity chip missing. Gucci doesn’t mix well with public criticism of the recently released Royal Household Annual Accounts and fury over Tories cheering at the 323-309 vote squashing a pay raise for firefighters, police and nurses while the reluctant royals get a nice pay boost.
Kate has shown up in new clothing to all but one of her recent events. The Queen didn’t even wear a new ensemble to her own birthday celebration on June 17th out of respect for the somber tone of the nation due to recent tragedies (neither did Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall), but Our Fair Waity was beaming at Trooping the Colour in brand new bespoke McQueen looking like a bright pink marshmallow Peep.
Then of course there was Kate’s new bespoke white lace McQueen dress at Ascot on June 20th that closely resembled the one she wore the previous year except this one was a bit more bridal and revealing.
In an interview Kate gave for a BBC documentary on Wimbledon that will air on Sunday, Kate provided some strange soundbites on which the Daily Mail reported. Kate reveals her mother’s crush on Roger Federer, her father’s gaffe with Tim Henman, the apology note she wrote to Andy Murray when she couldn’t attend Wimbledon in 2013 and how before she was married she used to have to wait in a queue for hours to attend Wimbledon. WTF? In what way do embarrassing stories about the Middleton family and reminders about Kate’s royal perks babbled with faux-poshness benefit a Wimbledon documentary? It sounds like it might be time to put Grandma Catherine in a home.