Sorry Cats and Kittens, I fell asleep last night while prepping to write Day 3’s post. This thing is a walking coma.
Prince George and Princess Charlotte are even more bored with it than we are and attempted to drag their parents aboard the private jet that was waiting to take them to Germany yesterday. Fuckity bye!
Sorry, Poland. The littlest Cambridges are so over you people.
Don’t get too cocky, Germany, George was already tired of you upon arrival.
This tour has all the excitement of a couple of Benadryl. I can barely feel my legs. I don’t understand how the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge can travel to all these wonderful countries and make them look as flat as painted scenery from a grammar school play. That’s all these tours seem to mean to them, new scenery for their family photos.
This is a cut and paste of Wednesday’s Royal Tour Itinerary directly from the Daily Mail tour coverage because I don’t feel like putting more effort in Prince William and Kate’s tour than they are.
WEDNESDAY 19TH JULY
Arrival in Berlin and official welcome
Visit to the Brandenburg Gate
The couple will meet survivors and tour the museum before walking through the Memorial itself.
The charity supports young people from disadvantaged backgrounds
Bellevue Palace Gardens
William and Kate will meet with the Federal President
Queen’s Birthday Garden Party, Ambassador’s Residence
William will give a speech at the event held in honour of his grandmother
I don’t get the sense William and Kate have any appreciation for the historical significance of some of these places or really for anything at all. They certainly haven’t provided much in the way of sound bites to suggest they are active participants in this tour. Had Charlotte not been given her first official flower bouquet, there wouldn’t be much to report other than Angela Merkel asked Kate if she spoke German and Kate responded sorry, no.
Kate didn’t even bother to learn a few key German phrases? Don’t most people learn to say at least a few things when traveling to a country with a native language different from their own? Kate couldn’t squeeze in a few hours of Rosetta Stone in between all that nothing? According to @WriteRoyalty on Twitter, Kate worked a total of five hours in June.
Kate’s Wednesday attire for the day events was a cornflower blue Catherine Walker coat and another fucking lace dress. It reminds me of something she once wore to a wedding but I don’t care enough to look for it. Basically, Wednesday’s look was a slightly cornflowerier version of things we’ve seen a million times.
And the whole hairnet thing, enough Amanda Cook Tucker. It’s not retro cute, it’s a lazy shortcut for a lazy client. Kate already dresses like she’s a hundred, no need to give Grandma Catherine nursing home hair.
Kate got rave reviews for the red Alexander McQueen dress she wore to the garden party celebrating Her Majesty’s birthday. It’s cute, but the dress isn’t all that, I think people are so tired of lace and cosplay frocks, they’d applaud her for wearing anything in the normal human range.