Cosplay Kate

On Friday, Kate Middleton briefly united fans, critics and the media by wearing a Jenny Packham gown to the Royal Variety Performance that pretty much everyone agreed made her look like Elsa from Frozen.  Check out where Elsa’s hands are, did Disney animators and Kate go to the same princess training school?

Elsa

It’s one of those dresses that doesn’t look terrible from a distance but upon closer examination reveals itself to be sparkle chaos, the sequins, beads and crystals creating a glittery crustiness that haunts you like a grey hotdog from a street vendor.

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The madness is mesmerizing, there are clusters that sort of resemble butterflies, hanging embellishments that look like they could be tassels or dangling crystals or maybe a secret SOS message to an even more secret lazy royal advocacy group that she’s being forced to duchess against her will.

I for one am here for Cosplay Kate as long as it’s not all Jane Austen and lace. The next time she plans to flit off to Mustique, she should dress up as Mystique for whatever pre-flight engagement she has.

A Tweet by Jason Manford revealed that sitting there while being entertained had taken its toll on Prince William and Kate.

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William’s divide and conquer strategy so they could get out of there in ten minutes would have allotted 24 seconds with each performer, assuming both the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge did their equal share, which doesn’t sound like a lot of time because it’s not.  In The Princess Bride, Inigo Montoya’s famous line, “Hello.  My name is Inigo Montoya.  You killed my father.  Prepare to die,” took approximately 8 seconds so technically both the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge could have introduced themselves and delivered a very succinct mission statement about revenge twice in 24 seconds, with 8 seconds left for a handshake and to advance to the next person.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the plan for the modern monarchy involves a tee shirt canon and a moving walkway like the one at the Tower of London to minimize the amount of time the future king and his consort are forced to spend with the commoners.  Both William and Kate can zip past a waiting group as they fire customized tee shirts at them with “Fuck off” on the front and on the back something like, “These shirts were so expensive, your taxes have been quadrupled and all of you now live in a yellow submarine.  By yellow submarine, we mean a cardboard box dogs have peed on.  But seriously, peasants are gross.”

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68 thoughts on “Cosplay Kate”

    1. Another very funny lovelolaheart blog. And for anyone comparing Kate’s dress to Elsa’s in Frozen (my friends with young children get a rabid look in their eyes, foam in their mouths and trembling of limbs at the thought of having to hear the title song from Frozen one more time) should be happy that at least Kate wasn’t wearing a mermaid dress a la Arielle. Or Belle’s huge yellow gown.

  1. This dress has too much sparkle..she dresses either too short or too much boring colour or too many buttons & the list goes on…..waity always misses the mark!!
    Get out katie!!you are not fit for that role & u can never be!!!

    1. Lol!!!atleast then her brain must be thinking about something(considering her brain is empty all the time!!)

  2. Hey guys!those who want to know about real waity please check out “walk on by”album in “lulu in the palace” facebook page…

      1. Lovelolaheart, the press were literally kept on the other side of the “pond.” Is this symbolic of the distance between Great Britain and the United States, or the distance Harry and Meghan intend to keep from the press?

        1. The sunk garden is not very big. It’s mostly the sunk pool that you saw and a tiny pavement running all round it. The plants are on graduated ‘steps’ above that. There was literally no easy place to stand to give the press enough distance to take good full body pictures without putting that pool between the 2 groups.

          It was an awkward choice, but perhaps if they’d chosen the gardens of Buckingham Palace or Clarence House, it might not have looked as if they wanted that physical barrier between them and the press pen.

  3. Thank God for Harry and Meghan! No matter what you feel about her, she has way more charisma than Cathy.

    That and she brings some edginess to the Royal Family. Good times for all!

    Ta ta forever Duchess of Cambridge! Stay home!

    1. Temi! Love seeing old RD names here….now if only my beloved FutureCrayon would appear! I eagerly await the first Meghan/Cathy appearance because of how deranged Cathy acts when she needs attention.

  4. Meghan may not be perfect but she is definitely better than waity!Atleast she worked for her living.People will like her more than waity & I wonder if gradually she will have less coverage of her charities so that waity is well received by public!!
    Buckingham palace surely plays cheap tricks!

  5. I am sooo happy! Kate will get serious competition! I mean, a proper human being gets to be princess. Kate the robot will have no chance against that! She will probably loose more weight and become invisible…(and that is sad)

    1. There is plastic surgery, and then there is PLASTIC SURGERY. The former are Kate and Meghan, who both were pretty/cute as children and young adults, and their nose jobs were subtle. The latter are people who one would never recognize in before and after pictures.

  6. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant! Lola you always make me laugh on a rainy day!

    Now that I have met Harry twice & helped implement his first Invictus Games I expect an invite. On second thought I look horrible in hats, so I will just have to wait for proper tea after a honeymoon. 😀

  7. In their engagement interview, Meghan was charming and articulate. I was really taken aback at their natural ease, not to mention their obvious affection and dare I say, desire, that was clear from their body language. Such a welcome change from the frosty dissociation of the Cambridge consorts. I think Kate has just struck out. Or to put it more positively, there is most definitely a new girl in town. I look forward to seeing how they will follow up on all the causes they both say are very close to their hearts.

    1. Meghan was really impressive in that interview. I know she was an actress and had media training, but she came off as genuine and you can see the affection that Harry and Meghan have for each other. Such a difference from the awkward William and Kate interview. Now I won’t rip Kate for being awkward in her first post engagement interview, but seven years later she hasn’t really improved and that’s why people are complaining.

      I hope Harry and Meghan live up to the expectations they have created.

      1. Nic919
        The question could be regarding their future, will the Press build them up only to knock them down.? The need to keep the money flowing from coverage of the British Royal Family, surely must be more secure if the positive/ spin is focused on the ultimate couple ie William and Catherine.
        Oh well, time will tell.

    2. Meghan looked beautiful at the interview, with very toned arms, great make-up minus the spray tan. She is articulate, at ease with the camera, knew when to look at Harry, and made a few stumbles, the most baffling was her statement that she and Harry will spend most of their time abroad, including the Commonwealth countries, trying to change the world according to their own agenda. Change. Plus, we could hear about their numerous holidays, trips, and holidays. It was hysterical when Harry said they had to arrange their relationship around Meghan’s work schedule, and neither said anything about Harry’s work, as it is no -existent. Plus the hand clutching, holding on for life.

      I look forward to this marriage. It will be very interesting, to say the least. Much happiness to the couple, and I wish this snapshot of joy today will last for their entire lives. Who doesn’t love a wedding?

      1. I was practically hyperventilating throughout the interview which is so unlike cynical me.

        I was prepared to judge the usual things, had a list of good/bad things that mean good/ bad royal, but was completely unprepared for them as a couple.

        It’s how Sofia and CP in Sweden won me over. I was rwady to be super judgey until i saw their wedding.

        I’m a sucker for love. I blame disney.

        ‘Tale as old as time….’ tralalalala

        I hope they don’t let me down.

        On the other hand, honest self-reflection tells me that WK didn’t let me down. I’ve been too hard on them when i should have stuck to my original ‘they are hopeless’ assessment.

        At their engagement photocall, i shuddered when she revealed the ring of doom. Bad mojo that ring.

        The interview left me cold. Plus it was riddled with obvious, straight up lies and obsfucation. She couldn’t string a sentence together.

        And mostly i felt pity for her because the news headlines were mostly about Diana and Diana’s son getting married. Kate seemed to be an afterthought in her own story.

        Then the engagement PR took over and i thought i shouldn’t judge. Give her and them a chance.

        Wedding was cold. Make up over done, cone boobs.

        Wierd handholding of bridal bouquet and partner’s hand. As if they didn’t want to touch each other at all.

        Then came the 180 housewife bollox.

        So i’ve been fighting against my original assessment all this time. Lol.

        1. Herazeus,
          I love you’re take on them. I myself have been thinking since the engagement announcement and what not that Harry’s relationship with Meghan will really draw out and make more noticeable the coldness, and even the fakeness of W&K’s relationship. It will cause it to appear to be an absolute fraud,a cover for who knows what and for who knows why. Who knows why, because no secret beyond some form of terrorist attack seems worth pulling that type of a faux relationship for that long. Just my opinion.

          1. Excuses are made that they aren’t / weren’t in the first flush of first love, but shouldn’t they be in comfortable togetherness borne of a 16yr relationship? They are as awkward as if they just met, and just as cold.

            Btw, that tweet about their conversation to get away from the theatre pronto is so obnoxious.

            They can’t hold it in long enough to do a good deed? Jeesh, have the good manhers to be publicly gracious and keep the obnoxious conversation and strategies at home.

            1. I don’t think William respects Kate and it shows in how he speaks of her and treats her. He ignores her more often than not and when Harry was there she would gravitate to him because Harry is generally respectful to everyone. Not everyone has to be into PDA, but William lacks basic courtesy. Kate puts up with it because she wants the dresses and trips, but on some level she doesn’t respect herself for wanting more and William doesn’t respect her for it either.

              With Harry and Meghan in the scene it will become even more obvious how disrespectful William treats his wife and that it is not because of royal protocol.

              I still think his refusal to wear a wedding band is symbolic of what he thinks of the marriage. Phillip, Charles, Andrew and Edward all wear a wedding band, even if it is with their signet ring. William can’t be bothered to inconvenience himself doing even that.

        2. Herazeus, please you, of all people, should recognize when any royal says in the same sentence “hit the ground” and “boots” they ain’t talkin’ about even walkin’ (I love any Sinatra I can get) they are thinkin’ about takin’ a vacation.

          To grab hold of the three musketeers and d’ one must speak in their language:

          1. I am keenly aware that there is an avalanche behind me , while I lie about skiing in France, and thus now understand what the very strange word “work” means today.

          2. I finally figured out what the strange American word “hustle” means, other than the oops disco song – while diving in the Maldives, hustle to get back to shore, since sharks don’t wait for bait.

          3. Running is terribly tiring, unless I see a Prince ahead of me – and time behind. Ouch!

          4. Sailing with Ben is a *sigh* unless you are hauling two skippers in training and a little mate – but can still dimple. And put up the sails – must not waste gap year on a yacht, Ahoy, matey.

          5. Ball boys and girls. Tennis.

          1. Lol.

            Now that i’ve had a few days to engage critical brain, i see the obvious PR.

            1. Commonwealth, coz we are magical now i see where Harry got his ‘i’m a magical prince’ new persona in newsweek. (Bow down!)

            2. Roast Chicken, coz we are so normal tralalalala

            3. Proposal whilst cooking said roast chicken in our cottage, coz we are so normal and not fancy at all (steady on. Methinks they protest too much)

            4. We knew, we hooked up immediately, no need for date nights coz WE ARE IN LOVE (okay!! We got it)

            5. Our love is magical, all our family and friends said so (i heard you the first time, or is this the infinity time!!)

            6. Diana (the magic word. Stop trolling MM. She’s perfect. 20yrs dead people think so)

            7. …but we are normal. Live in a cottage. Cook roast chicken. Took country walks. (No one mention the frequent flier miles + security + the legal threats to IPSO to gag UK media + the Harry specific changed Botswana privacy laws)

            8. And definitely don’t mention the fact that Harry went to Botswana to work NOT to fly in his new squeeze for a week’s nookie under the stars.

            9. Did i mention the love that overcomes ALL the obstacles, work, trolls, media?!

            10…..but privacy.

            1. Roast birds all the time, no? Turkeys, chickens, no Thanksgiving turkeys, basting red- skinned curry chickens, fires with birds, shooting birds, skinning birds, frying, roasting chickens, fowls, hens, turkeys.

              Will Kate lend Meghan her fur hat while at Sandringham, to shoot more birds? As an American, and literally in our blood, Americans do not need shooting lessons.

              Question: If Harry took Meg to Africa, spending days and nights in incredible resorts, for a week-long third date, “vacation” not including Harry’s week at South Africa’s beaches, cough, saving rhinos, cough, what did he do for the fourth date?

            2. 11. Now we know what Harry was doing with all his time for the past 18 months, “work” be damned. He was holed up with Meghan or travelling to hole up with her. Every. Two. Weeks. “For 4 days to a week”. For 18 months. She worked and he did almost nothing. This is the future.

            3. Hera:

              I know everybody always tells you the same thing but now it is my turn: I LOVE YOUR INPUT!

              Color me cynical because I still think Sparkles views herself as Diana 2.0 and still seems so rehearsed and fake (i.e. tucking the non existent hair around her ear).

              Ugh, I am a biracial women but I would never identify myself as such. I see my curly hair and my nose and my caramel skin and I just say like it is: I am black. However, Sparkles is very afraid to say that or does not identify herself like that and just uses that label. That is fine by me – to each its own. However, as an American, I can honestly say that I only have meet like 3 ppl that identifies herself like that and that is because they have issues reconcile their culture, but again, that is my experience to each its own.

              Nonetheless, what really irked me about the interview was how she thinks she is oh so well prepared for the job lol Talk about ego. I lived in England for four years and that was not enough time for me to still understand and submerged fully into the UK culture and that is understandable and OK but with Sparkles oh my she is so ready, blech.

  8. All of the loose dangles on the dress made me nervous, as if they were little icicles about to melt, and then there would have been no dress at all, and a big puddle on the floor. If they had made a pattern, who knows what it would have been, maybe naughty bits, knowing Kate. I couldn’t look at it for too long, which is a shame because I loved the color.

  9. It’s not like Kate is doing something historical, and whatever dress she was wearing would be memorable. She rarely wears the same clothes more than three times. So the value of her clothes, should they be ever auctioned would never amount to anything much, maybe the original price since it was worn by a Duchess..

  10. Sorry for asking this in the middle of other topic..
    Can someone tell me how to read sarah whalen’s blog.I’m unable to open it

  11. Can’t wait to see Megan give Kate a run for her money. The lazy one has her work cut out for her. Willing to bet she gets pregnant again next year this time with triplets to keep from actually having to work. She had better start scheming already.

      1. Hmmmm, Msthang, whatever negatives there maybe, their chemistry and strong wattage power cannot be denied. It hits one like lightning. She

      2. Sadly, engagement royal duties are normal. We are so used to Kate’s lack of work that MM looks as if she’s doing something extraordinary.

        All royal ladies are trotted out for royal duties almost immediately the engagement is announced. Even Kate. She was trotted out in December 2010 after November 2010 announcement.

        All are greeted with huge crowds and enthusiastic goodwill. Beloved for their potential rather than their disappointments, not to mention the recently televised engagement interview in which they all promise to work for Britain and can’t wait to meet the public blah, blah, blah. Exception Kate on promising to work too hard, but she managed to squeak that she understood that she was expected to work and that was enough.

        Kate did 4 engagement period engagements. One in each country. Famously she told a fan that her engagement weight loss was part of the plan.

        She tossed pancakes at another. Wore and exact replica of one of Diana’s suits at another, and kept poking people with her umbrella at the forth. And that’s all I remember about her 4 engagements. It all looked so promising. Especially with Palace PR in overdrive telling us that she couldn’t wait to start working.

    1. Resident Idiot, I’m sorry I am one of the skeptical ones, I think MM will be wonderful at first, but then I give it 18 months and she will be seduced by the title without the since of duty. Her best friend said, she thinks she is Diana 2.00, will see how committed she’ll be and how wonderful, would it surprise anyone if she set her sights on Gingerboy in her youth like Chutney. Boy the perks sure are enticing and almost surreal sense of entitlement. Diana fell in love with her own image even before the wedding. During that interview Harry said he had never heard of Suits but someone recently said he fell in love with her image over 2 years ago, and she wanted to know was he NICE, and then of course she is sharing a tent with him 3 dates later, that whole interview down the road I have a sneaky suspicion is gonna be seen as one big Fabrication!!

        1. May B, I am wondering if HM is saying to herself another train wreck, this just seems so far fetched to get a blessing from the Monarch after16 months of an affair, or if she really believes her grand kids need to make their own mistakes, in which case who pays for it, personally me thinks it should come out of Gingerboy’s pocket!!!

      1. Msthang I agree with you and am also skeptical about this new pair being eager to work as well. I also tend to view so called humanitarian causes as self promotional especially for celebrities and royals after all how on earth would they explain living on the peoples taxes without really doing any work. Going to an event and shaking a few hands and waving as you leave and arrive is hardly work in my book. I am just curious to see how the lazy one reacts to the presence of this eager beaver actress so ready to drop her career for ‘lurve’. Something is fishy behind this pair as well and time will reveal all! Just wait and see.

        1. Well, I suspect that it’s all good timing for MM. Hollywood, as much as they won’t admit it, has a certain sell-by date for actresses (unless you’re an icon like Meryl Streep). Also, the biological clock is ticking. It’s probably the perfect time for her to settle down with a husband, albeit a massively A++++ List one.

    2. She’s beginning to remind me of Mae, Gooper’s greedy wife in ‘Cat on a Hot Tin Roof ‘. Mae kept churning out the kids to gain favour (and fortune) from the dying Big Daddy while Brick, Big Daddy’s favourite, remained childless.

      I’m beginning to think churning out kids is Katie’s currency.

  12. Hii lola!I’m a great fan of your blog.I feel that everybody should know about the real kate.The media just writes crap about her & everybody believe it!!Why don’t you create a facebook page so that more people can get to know the real kate.
    Sorry to ask like this but I think your blogs are why people like me got to know what kate middleton actually does in real life. So if you’re interested just give it a try about creating a facebook page.
    P.S:excuse my english..it’s not my first language.

  13. Color me cynical, but all the little lies seem to add up to something smells funky in Harry/Meghan town. I think she’ll be much better than Kate, but Kate’s set the bar so low that anyone with a pulse can surpass her. Meghan’s lies about the dishwashing soap commercial and her charity work being done for photoshoots make me think she’s just another celebrity who is in it just for themselves. He seems to have had a gallon of her Kool-Aid and she seems quite proud of herself.

  14. I am cynical as well, and agree that this is all good timing for MM. Maybe she could have continued on Suits for another season or 2, but marrying a prince is a fabulous retirement plan.

    Unfortunately Harry is not the only one who has had a gallon or 6 of the MM Kool-Aid; many blogs & forums think she is the best thing since sliced bread, a breath of fresh air, independent, worldly, charity minded, etc, etc, etc. And if you do not think she is the best thing ever to happen to the BRF, you are a horrible, jealous, racist. Nauseating.

    I just don’t see the chemistry that others are seeing, and they don’t look good together to me, which is strange because, lookswise, they are basically my parents 35 years ago. And despite his dating history, Harry has pinged my gaydar for years.

    Their romance seems to have been an endless vacation, and once real life hits (as real as royal life gets anyway), I predict problems. I’m sure it’s all new & exciting now, but I think everyday life with the magical prince, especially within the confines of the BRF, would be stifling. Especially for someone who is supposedly so independent, worldly, and sophisticated.

    1. I totally agree with you. Everything seems very rushed and not completely kosher with these two, starting with how they met and the timeline of their relationship. I hope they’re happy but she doesn’t have a great track record with sticking things through whether it be with a partner or a dog and he seems to struggle with a lot of emotional issues that have possibly not been addressed yet.

  15. My gut feeling is that MM is rather smug. She is definitely personable… but I can’t help feel the insincerity. The UN speech was self-congratulatory – she was in awe of herself. The humanitarian work that can be counted on one hand but is really a PR device to build profile. The blog with the dumb name – another profile device. Hanging with that wretched, snotty SoHo House crowd of pushy wannabes reaching up for the next rung in the ladder of fame. Ugh. Harry is not bright, just a lazy twit. He looked like a lump next to Meghan in the engagement interview; a mismatch intellectually, for sure. I think they are both pulling the wool over each other’s eyes, talking big about their humanitarian dreams but really, they are just a couple of pretenders. I expect lots of waving from glamorous locations around the Commonwealth, and not much of substance delivered. PR weaving a wonderful narrative of how earnest they are blah, blah, blah. Empty lives, empty promises = royalty.

  16. Does Harry wear necklaces? I thought I spotted one on him, while he and Meghan were greeting on the walk about. His snirt’s collar was unbuttoned, enough to see his chest hair. Very seventies. I know he wears matching bracelets with Meghan.

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