Tag Archives: Armani Prive

2016 Oscars Red Carpet

At the 88th Academy Awards, Chris Rock diffused the diversity controversy that hung over the Dolby Theater with his raw yet dexterous brand of comedy, acknowledging a need for change within Hollywood while keeping the show on track. It’s been so long since an Oscar host was actually entertaining, I had forgotten these things used to sometimes  be funny.  Not everything was comedic gold, I still can’t figure out the point of the Girl Scout bit.  Girl Scout cookies sell themselves because they are delicious and somewhat deceptively named.  Thin Mints for example give you the false impression you can swallow sleeves of cookies whole like a boa constrictor without worrying about your waistline while Tagalongs and Do-si-dos practically sound like you’re getting some kind of calorie-cancelling exercise simply by eating them.

Amusingly, the plan to omit thank yous from the acceptance speeches and scroll pre-prepared lists of names instead didn’t pan out amongst those who take direction for a living.  Not exactly a shocker.  If I ever won an Academy Award, guidelines and music wouldn’t get me off the stage, it would probably take some kind of zoo-tranquilizer dart and even then, I wouldn’t go without a fight.

But the Oscars are so much more than a platform for social change or awarding  the best in film, they’re about attractive people wearing fabulous designer clothing.  Watching the Oscars is all about focusing on the most superficial aspects of people who are part of the most shallow industry on Earth.  It’s all about the fashion.

This year was a little more interesting than the past few years.  The best and worst weren’t quite so cut and dry with many  critics divided over who led  the pack and whose fashion failed.

These are my picks:

The Best

Cate Blanchett was ethereal perfection in seafoam Armani Prive.  In the wrong hands, this  dress could look like a glue gun disaster, but with Tiffany & Co. cascading diamond earrings, sea creature bracelet and beachy bob, Cate had that just-stepped-out-of-the-waves-like-this goddess quality.  This dress made both best and worst dressed lists.  On anyone but Cate Blanchett, I would have categorized it as the latter.  On her, it was both regal and whimsical.

cateblanchett

Another red carpet masterpiece in motion was Saoirse Ronan in Calvin Klein.  The actress chose emerald to honor her Irish heritage, however the swirling sequins of the skirt were evocative of the sky’s nocturnal undulations in Dutch post-Impressionist painter, Vincent van Gogh’s The Starry Night.  While the brightest “star” in van Gogh’s painting is actually Venus, Saoirse Ronan’s luminous beauty made her one of the brightest stars on the Oscar red carpet.
SaoirseRonan

EmeraldCalvinKlein

The black Chanel dress Julianne Moore wore was a departure from the jewel tones she normally gravitates towards, making it a noteworthy selection.  Recently, a similar version made its way down the Chanel runway on Kendall Jenner.  Julianne opted for meticulously crafted effortless glamour, wearing her hair down instead of in angry Princess Leia buns with Black Swan eye makeup shown at the Chanel Haute Couture show.

JulianneMoore

Once again Charlize Theron’s red carpet appearance reminded us that no matter how hard we try, we’ll never be Charlize Theron.  Charlize may have terrible taste in men, but her fashion sense is impeccable.  Draped in Christian Dior Couture and Harry Winston diamonds, Charlize continued her reign as the Red Carpet’s best dressed.

CharlizeTheron

Honorable Mention

Mindy Kaling’s Elizabeth Kennedy dress was a little too tight, causing it to pucker, but between its black and royal blue color scheme and cape-like tie in the  back, it reminded me of the superhero costume worn by Batman’s former sidekick, Nightwing, thus making the dress subjectively awesome.

MindyKaling

Leather and Lace

Two of the trends on the red carpet were the sartorial version of the Stevie Nicks/Don Henley duet, Leather and Lace.

Jennifer Lawrence’s black tiered Dior gown was one of the lace trend’s best examples,  a modern take on the black lace and ruffles favored by Stevie Nicks who paved the way for goth girls who want to keep their hair blonde.

jenniferlawrence

Rooney Mara also wore lace.  The cut-out sheer dress  by Givenchy Haute Couture was a cometh hither combination of demure and provocative, however the sci-fi hair and white platform sandals detracted from the dress.

rooneymara

Versace-clad Kerry Washington looked like she was wearing Xena’s prom dress: ass-kicking leather on top, glamorous femininity on the bottom.

kerrywashington

Margot Robbie glittered like a gold dust woman in a long-sleeve gold leather embellished Tom Ford gown.  In 85 degree heat.  I’m really not sure how she wasn’t glistening buckets.

MargotRobbie

The Worst

This year’s Oscars refuted my long-held belief that Kate Winslet would look gorgeous even in a garbage bag.  Making a rare sartorial misstep, Kate’s Ralph Lauren gown was evocative of a Hefty Cinch Sak.  Draw me like one of your tall kitchen bags.

katewinslet

Another fashion disappointment was Olivia Wilde who, like Kate Winslet, usually nails the red carpet.  I wanted to like Olivia Wilde’s Valentino dress, but ultimately I couldn’t shake the fact that it looked like Mature Bride’s take on Leeloo’s bandage outfit.

oliviawilde

I can’t even take Amy Poehler’s Andrew Gn dress seriously, she looks like she’s being eaten alive by Audrey Jr. flesh-eating embroidery.  A stylist supposedly did this to her on purpose, why I do not know, but humanity may need to call on Lucy Liu’s badassery.

AmyPoehler

This year Marchesa happened to Heidi Klum.  The dress looked like a failed practice assignment using canopy curtains and shoddy magic at Fairy Godmother Conjuring School.  The dress Cinderella’s rodent friends made her looked better than this Marchesa dress even after it was destroyed.  Not only is this a lock for this year’s Worst Dressed award, it’s epically hideous, likely to show up on Most Tragic Oscar Fashion lists for years to come.

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2015 Oscars Red Carpet

The 2015 Oscar’s Red Carpet was a veritable who’s who and what’s that of fashion.  With the recently starlet-snubbed E! Mani Cam banished officially because of “space constraints” amid sexism controversy, Oscar hopefuls and presenters seemed to take back more creative control of their fashion as well.  A marked departure from last year’s overly contrived un-styled looks masterminded by megalomaniacal stylists, the red carpet this year was fresher, more individual, fashion-forward and fabulously flawed.

There were three major trends on the Oscar’s red carpet this year: statement necklaces, ponytails and pearls.

Unfortunately, the statement Cate Blanchett chunky turquoise necklace had to make was weekend road trip to the Grand Canyon.  It’s hard to believe the necklace is Tiffany & Co.

Cate Blanchett in Margiela by John Galliano, Tiffany & Co. necklace.

Cate Blanchett in Margiela by John Galliano, Tiffany & Co. necklace.

Margot Robbie’s necklace statement was much more Oscar-worthy, she accessorized her Yves Saint Laurent dress with a vintage Van Cleef and Arpels necklace created for Wallis Simpson.

Margot Robbie in Yves Saint Laurent, vintage Van Cleef and Arpels necklace

Margot Robbie in Yves Saint Laurent, vintage Van Cleef and Arpels necklace

Dakota Johnson, smoldering in Yves Saint Laurent, whipped her hair into a playful ponytail, while Jennifer Lopez topped her nude Elie Saab with a more slicked-back look.

Dakota Johnson in Yves Saint Laurent and Jennifer Lopez in Elie Saab

Dakota Johnson in Yves Saint Laurent and Jennifer Lopez in Elie Saab

Felicity Jones wore Alexander McQueen with pearls in the center of the three dimensional embroidery on the bodice.

Felicity Jones in Alexander McQueen

Felicity Jones in Alexander McQueen

Lupita Nyong’o had the pearliest of creations, with 6,000 lustrous spheres sewn to her Calvin Klein dress.

Lupita Nyong'o in Calvin Klein

Lupita Nyong’o in Calvin Klein

The luminous Julianne Moore wore custom Chanel in lustrous white.  The column dress took 927 hours to make, but its detailing left me a bit divided on the look overall, evoking somewhat of a sea creature feel.

JulianneMooreChanel

Sadly, Marion Cotillard, who usually makes it to the top of best-dressed lists, looked like she pulled a Little Mermaid with the tablecloth from a sushi restaurant.

Marion Cotillard in Dior

Marion Cotillard in Dior

Versace dressed new mothers Zoe Saldana and Scarlett Johansson, one of the best and one of the worst looks of the evening.  Scarlett looked like a cross-dressing Jolly Green Giant in a New Orleans brothel.

Zoe Saldana and Scarlett Johansson in Versace

Zoe Saldana and Scarlett Johansson in Versace

Also in Versace was Jennifer Aniston who got slimed on the red carpet by Emma Stone’s Ectoplasma-Green Elie Saab gown.

Jennifer Aniston in Versace and Emma Stone in Elie Saab

Jennifer Aniston in Versace and Emma Stone in Elie Saab

No one told Jessica Chastain that navy blue was over, probably because she’s this hot and it’s kind of annoying.

Jessica Chastain in Givenchy

Jessica Chastain in Givenchy

Gwyneth Paltrow wore a petal pink Ralph and Russo that kind of grows on you after a while.

Gwyneth Paltrow in Ralph and Russo

Gwyneth Paltrow in Ralph and Russo

Lady Gaga one-upped Amal Clooney’s awkward Golden Globes gloves with her tribute to both dishwashing and falconry.

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga

Nicole Kidman accessorized with red as well, although the belt on the opalescent yellow dress made her look like a magician’s assistant after the sawing in half trick went horribly wrong.

Nicole Kidman in Louis Vuitton

Nicole Kidman in Louis Vuitton

Rita Ora drew the Marchesa short straw, wearing one of the designs of Harvey Weinstein’s wife which always tend to look like they were crafted with a glue gun on a Percocet high.

Rita Ora in Marchesa

Rita Ora in Marchesa

The best and worst went to the Brits.

Naomi Watts seemed to have hit a wall while wearing Liza Minnelli’s sports bra with this Armani Prive gown.

Naomi Watts in Armani Prive

Naomi Watts in Armani Prive

Rosamund Pike was perfection in red lace Givenchy.

Rosamund Pike in Givenchy

Rosamund Pike in Givenchy

And of course, the Best Undressed went to host Neil Patrick Harris.

Neil Patrick Harris

Neil Patrick Harris

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