Tag Archives: Ben Ainslie

Kate’s Not-So-Secret French Getaway

According to a French newspaper, on Tuesday at 1:30pm, Kate Middleton was spotted landing at the Pau-Pyrénées airport in a private  jet.  My thanks to the lovely Rebecca @TheUpAndUpGirl on Twitter for sending me the link yesterday.

I was curious if the British press would run the story but Rebecca  English’s Daily Mail article indicates the press isn’t sitting on this getaway.

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The initial article from the local French paper suggests that Kate was flying solo visiting relatives, although the Daily Mail article notes, “There was no mention of air ambulance pilot Prince William – although he is due to take time off this summer – or the couple’s children, although Prince George and Princess Charlotte are believed to have accompanied their mother.”

The response from DM readers is thus far pretty brutal.

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And of course, there’s already some speculation as to the whereabouts of Ben Ainslie.

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Last night, I stumbled across something fairly amusing when doing a Google search.  This is what comes up when you type in “Ben Ainslie K”:

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So it appears we’re not the only ones who have noticed.

To be fair, Sunday was Kate’s eighth official Ben Ainslie 1851 Trust engagement since becoming Patron in June of 2014 so they naturally have built a rapport since their first meeting on Day 10 of the 2012 Olympics.

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Ben’s even spent time with her sister Pippa.  In December 2013, she wrote an article about him for The Telegraph.

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So it’s totally not weird at all that one of Kate’s hands disappears in this photo:

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Or that when Kate gives Ben a medal, it looks like this:

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But when William gives Ben a medal, it looks like this:

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Ben obviously doesn’t feel as close to Prince William as he does to Kate which is normal, they don’t spend as much time around each other as Ben and Kate do.  And even when Prince William does accompany Kate to an 1851 Trust event, he doesn’t get as much one-on-one time with Ben.

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So, no, I don’t think Kate wanted some alone time to Google search pictures of Ben Ainslie with his shirt off:

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Or one where he looks devastatingly handsome in a turtleneck that shows off his pecs:

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Therefore it’s highly unlikely Kate needed some time away to figure out if there’s some kind of royal loophole that would allow her to keep Ben Ainslie as a house pet.

In fact, Rebecca English just Tweeted an update that Prince William, Prince George and Charlotte have accompanied Kate on this secret French getaway.  It’s just not reflected in the article yet, although it probably will be soon.

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See, they’re very normal.  Either the French newspaper’s “numerous sources” simply didn’t see Prince William, Prince George and Princess Charlotte or Prince William had to take a separate private jet because he’s not supposed to fly with the heir-to-the-heir-to-the-heir unless he receives special permission from the Queen and the kids are small so maybe they were somehow missed or took their own private jet with their nanny.

It is a private holiday so the only thing the taxpayers have to cover the cost of is the team of royal protection officers and any of their travel expenses and overtime.  And Kate usually disappears for most of the summer, the press just doesn’t usually report on the getaways.

Which begs the question why now?  Herazeus made a very astute comment on the Prince George’s Lupogate post:

“The two numpties have so alienated the press that only their status protects them ie they can’t be pushed too far down whilst HM is still alive otherwise the entire edifice crumbles and no one wants that. Yet.

The press is therefore sniping. Death by 1000cuts.”

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Royals at a Regatta

On Sunday, Prince William accompanied Kate Middleton to Portsmouth to watch the final America’s Cup World Series competition before the America’s Cup takes place in Bermuda next year. With Australia’s and Italy’s teams withdrawn, there will only be five teams challenging Oracle Team USA at the America’s Cup.

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The wind quickly devoured Kate’s blow-out.

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The gusts revealed shorter under layers in Kate’s hair which suggest that she likely had a fresh batch of longer extensions added to her mane.

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Both William and Kate wore matching Land Rover BAR shirts.

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Kate chose to pair hers with some jeggings that looked like surgical extraction might be required to remove them.

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Kate smiled through it, though. Because, Ben Ainslie. No one loves sailing that much, even Ben Ainslie.

After the photo op with children being introduced to sailing through the 1851 Trust and a technology tour, Prince William and Kate took to the waters to cheer on Ben Anslie’s team from a Land Rover BAR catamaran.

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Kate appeared far more enthusiastic than Prince William.

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In case you didn’t catch that last pic, their facial expressions would be represented by very different emoticons.

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Ben Ainslie’s team finished on top.

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The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge handed out the awards, affording Kate one of her few one-on-one moments with the very dreamy sailor as she presented Ben Ainslie with the team trophy.

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Alas, husbands and races always seem to get in the way of quality Hello Sailoring.

Afterwards, Ainslie popped his cork and sprayed his teammates with some celebratory champagne.

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And the Cambridges took their helicopter home.

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Not really sure what the point of the Cambridges attending the event was, other than being a nice little jolly like so many of their official engagements. On Friday, the Admiral of the Royal Yacht Squadron, Prince Philip, already paid a visit to Portsmouth. Ben Ainslie is known for his focused intensity during races, so I doubt the awkward clapping of a duchess on another catamaran gave him the extra push to victory. In fact during Saturday’s competition, Ainslie’s team won two out of three races, which tied them with France for first place going into Sunday’s second half. Maybe there was some kind of secret contractual agreement with Land Rover which has poured millions into this America’s Cup bid that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge would be photographed at the event in their Land Rover-branded clothing. Who knows.

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Hello Sailor-ing with Ben Ainslie

On Friday, Kate Middleton went to Portsmouth for some Hello Sailor-ing with Ben Ainslie who holds four gold Olympic medals and one silver in sailing and is trying to win the 2017 America’s Cup for Britain for the first time in the competition’s history.

Kate interacting  with the very dreamy Ben Ainslie is my very favorite Kate of all.  She’s vibrant, engaged, and doesn’t have that glassy-eyed wide-grinned  glazed look of a Xanax-Percocet combo with Stockholm Syndrome chaser like she did last Sunday at Land Rover Presents The Queen’s Birthday.

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Kate is so interested and alert in Ben Ainslie’s presence, I’m not even going to make a joke about this being a check for lobotomy scars.

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Kate met with some kids and got a special Ben Ainslie-guided tour around the £12M operations building which received £7.5M from central government funding.  The Daily Mail provided lots of adorable photos from which these screen grabs were taken.

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Kate slipped out of her nautical McQueen and the Precious and into something a little more Land Rover-branded.

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It was so totally adorable the way Ben Ainslie made sure Kate’s helmet was properly fastened.

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Although it’s possible Ben has seen Kate attempt to clap and didn’t want to take any chances with helmet safety.

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Kate and Ben obviously get along swimmingly with Kate even baring her teeth which is how I’ve theorized in the past Duchess Limpets signal sexual availability.

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Not that I think Kate would actually cheat on Prince William, but flirting with Ben Ainslie is the most normal and relatable thing I’ve ever seen her do. Ben Ainslie is also married with a baby on the way so I doubt he’s guilty of flirting with intent but there definitely seems to be some mutual  chemistry between the two.

Kate and Ben set sail on the Land Rover BAR catamaran.

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This was Kate’s seventh official Ben Ainslie event since becoming involved in his bid to bring the America’s Cup to the UK two years ago.  It’s pretty safe to say Ben Ainslie’s America’s Cup bid is the cause closest the Kate’s heart since Kate had around five hours for Ben Ainslie on Friday and yet only twenty minutes to spare for a recent teen suicide awareness talk and none at all for the Irish Guards on St. Patrick’s Day.

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Friday’s Portsmouth events saw three outfits and yet Kate rarely even bothers to take her coat off for visits to her other charities, like when she popped into St. Catherine’s Primary School for a Place2Be assembly sing-along earlier this year, her sixth Place2Be event since becoming Patron in 2013.

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East Anglia’s Children’s Hospices has only seen Kate four times since becoming their patron in 2012 with the latest official event coming in under thirty-five minutes.  EACH just deals with critically ill children, though, and the America’s Cup is so shiny.

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America’s Cup historian John Rousmaniere was quoted in a recent CNN article: “The cost of competing in the world’s oldest continuous sporting event is so “extravagant” that only the very wealthy can afford it.”

The article also noted, “In 2013,  the $100 million price tag for each of the teams meant there were only three challengers.”

BAR (Ben Ainslie Racing) was officially launched on June 10, 2014 at an event attended by the Duchess of Cambridge.  Its initial investors are listed in an October 6, 2014 post on Ben Ainslie’s official site.

In June 2015, BAR was renamed Land Rover BAR.

The aforementioned CNN article indicates, “Ainslie, the most successful sailor in Olympic history with four gold medals, has raised £50 million ($73 million) from various sponsors, including British car brand Land Rover and online trader CMC Markets. He’s targeting £80 million ($116 million).”

I love sailing, many of the happiest moments in my life have been spent on the water.  But this whole Land Rover BAR bid is about a trophy.  Can you imagine the kind of impact $116 million could make on the lives of those struggling in the UK?

I’m also curious about how Land Rover became involved with Ben Ainslie’s bid and if the undisclosed dealings between the British Royal Family and Land Rover is related.  Like maybe every time Kate gets photographed in a Land Rover, a set amount goes to Ben Ainslie’s bid.  A few months after the historic moment of Prince George being  taken home from the hospital in a Range Rover, the Daily Mail ran a piece on the Middletons being given luxury Range Rovers at a deeply discounted rate which was curious timing.  It’s possible Kate arranged some kind of Land Rover sponsorship deal on Ben Ainslie’s behalf in which case at least she would be using her powers for sort-of good.  It would be nice to see Kate’s enthusiasm for Ben Ainslie’s trophy quest applied to her other charities, though.

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Sailing Along in An Aging British Royal Family

On Sunday, Kate Middleton made a rare appearance, emerging from extended maternity leave for the rained-out America’s Cup race in Portsmouth.  Despite the inclement weather, Kate looked happy, engaged and interested.

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I like this Kate.  She doesn’t have that dead inside blank stare normally worn at her increasingly rare public events.  She wasn’t fumbling desperately in her hair for a panic button or frantically pressing into her crotch trying to activate some kind of escape hatch lever to take her far away from the expectations of duchessing.

I can even tolerate this Kate who is so giddy flanked by the very dreamy Ben Ainslie and the far less swoon-worthy Prince William that she has the deranged grin of an escaped mental patient who raided the happy pill closet before flying over the cuckoo’s nest:

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The problem is this Kate only exists at sporting events and celebrity galas.  And even though she’s using the guise of extended maternity leave (for which she doesn’t work enough to qualify) to avoid the duchess downer events like the tenth anniversary 7/7 Memorial honoring the 52 victims of the London bombings, her habitual hand-picking of events has irreparably damaged her reputation to the point even once-supporters are writing her off as hopelessly lazy.

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Judging by the overall tone of Daily Mail comments, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are probably one holiday away from royally waving at a torch and pitchfork mob.

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In his July 13th first-day-playing pilot interview, Prince William noted, “The Queen is still very active and is still showing incredible leadership. My father is doing many, many engagements, as are the rest of the family, and so there’s a lot being done by the Royal family around the country. I hope to still be a part of that, and do as much as I can, but equally do something which I think is incredibly important and [will] prove me in good stead for the future.”

A lot is being done by the rest of the Royal Family, but just how realistic is the plan for them to continue to pick up the rest of the slack?  According to The British Monarchy’s official website, there are eighteen official members of the Current Royal Family.  I have listed the age next to each:

The Queen – 89

The Duke of Edinburgh -94

The Prince of Wales – 66

The Duchess of Cornwall – 68

The Duke of Cambridge – 33

The Duchess of Cambridge – 33

Prince Harry – 30

The Duke of York – 55

The Earl of Wessex – 51

The Countess of Wessex – 50

The Princess Royal – 64

The Duke of Gloucester – 70

The Duchess of Gloucester – 69

The Duke of Kent – 79

The Duchess of Kent – 82

Princess Alexandra – 78

Prince Michael of Kent – 73

Princess Michael of Kent – 70

The average age of the current British Royal Family is 64 with 65% of the royals past the once default retirement age of 65.

In 2014, only 8% of royal engagements were undertaken by Prince William, Kate Middleton and Prince Harry, which means 92% of royal responsibilities fell to other members of the Royal Family, the average age of whom is 70.5 years old without its three youngest “working” royals.  With Prince William playing pilot, Kate Middleton on extended maternity leave and Prince Harry currently in Africa working on wildlife conservation, the bulk of the responsibilities for 2015 once again fall to the remaining fifteen current members whose average age is 70.5.

In the UK, the average life expectancy is 79 for men and 83 for women.  Is picking up the slack for Prince William and his wife really how his relatives should be spending the last years of their lives?  The Queen at 89 has lived 6 years past the national life expectancy and there’s no guarantee that at 66, Prince Charles will also enjoy the same kind of longevity.

In the July 13th interview, Prince William defended his decision to play pilot with the statement, “The term, ‘full-time royal role’ is bandied around quite a lot, and no-one actually really knows what that means…”

The only people who don’t seem to know what it means to be full-time royals are William and Kate who have never even attempted to give it a go.  At the age of 33, William is a part-time prince and Kate is an occasional duchess, both are relying on the elderly to do their jobs for them.

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Duchess Double Header

Kate Middleton has been shuffling around her calendar, canceling her Red Cross appearance slated for June 12th and showing up at the Buckingham Palace Garden Party on Tuesday the 10th instead of on Thursday the 12th.  Perhaps the newly appointed equerry Captain Florian Graham-Watson will be able to help Lazy Kate’s existing staff with figuring out which engagements she wants to avoid before they get announced to the media.  So what’s going on Thursday June 12th that the Duchess needs to be officially MIA?  Is there a sale going on at Zara?  Is she having © HRH Catherine Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge 2014 tattooed on her bum?

As Kate arrived at her first event looking like a drugged zoo animal waking up from transport sedation, I wondered if perhaps the Firm is using more aggressive means to get her to show up at events.  Perhaps they hit her with a tranquilizer dart on her way to High Street or gave her Scratch N Sniff chloroform stickers to play with.

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Oh, what fresh hell is this?

Kate’s first Tuesday event was supporting Ben Ainslie’s 2017 America’s Cup bid at the National Maritime Museum.  I can’t imagine British dreamboat and five-time Olympic medalist Ben Ainslie needs royal support for an America’s Cup bid, or even an eBay bid for that matter, but it afforded Kate the opportunity to sport a demure nautical dress by Jaegar in virginal white.

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Hello, Sailor! Ben Ainslie & A Wide-Mouth Kate

Of course Kate’s wide-open mouth had all of the refined dignity of a blow up doll.

blowupdollBut it’s not like she could signal sexual attraction by playing with her hair since she does that all the time.

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Seriously, ALL THE TIME.

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What is going on in her hair that she must always be touching it?  Did the Royal Family implant a tracking device that makes her scalp tingle?  Is there something in there that she’s checking on?  A field mouse or smuggled jewels perhaps?  Is she surreptitiously playing a game of Chutes and Ladders with a tiny magical leprechaun who lives in her hair?  Does she suffer from hair flatulence and therefore constantly has to air out her blowout?

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At Kate’s second event of the day, a Buckingham Palace Garden Party, something crapped lace on her head.  I can only assume it was an aerial assault by some fabric defecating bird because I can’t imagine someone wearing this hat on purpose, let alone matchy-matching it to recycled Alexander McQueen.

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Meanwhile. Sharon Osborne has criticized Kate’s ever-present black eyeliner, deeming it “so dated and way too hard”.  I wonder if that will help or hinder the social media campaign to get Ozzy knighted.

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