Tag Archives: Buckingham Palace Garden Party

Cambridge Catch-Up

Greetings, All.  My apologies for my absence.  I have a new post on Kate Middleton ready to go but wanted to play a little Cambridge Catch-Up before hitting publish on Thursday’s SportsAid event.

Prince William has had two royal firsts since my last post.  After 33 years of princing, Prince William finally went to the The Royal  Horticultural Society’s Chelsea Flower Show on May 23rd.

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The flower show was a first for Kate, too.  When Kensington Palace’s Press Office suggested on social media that Prince Harry was a Chelsea Flower Show tag-along newbie, royal watchers quickly corrected them and reminded them of Prince Harry’s previous appearances.

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Even though Prince Harry may come in third in the Palace Press Office hierarchy, royal watchers are getting frustrated with how much Jason Knauf’s PR team keeps dropping the ball when it comes to Harry’s work.  I think Prince Harry’s supporters need a nickname like Beyoncé’s BeyHive.  We could be… the Ginger Rooters?  We’ll work on the name.

At the flower show, Prince William looked just as miserable as one would expect a Reluctant Prince who allegedly thinks flower shows and ribbon cuttings are ridiculous royal duties.

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The above Daily Mail screen grab is now one of my very favorite royal photos, mainly because Prince William has never looked more like Bert from Sesame Street than at that moment.

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The Daily Mail provided a bevy of snaps for Keeping up With the Kambridges screen grabbing.  Kate was almost all of the Seven Dwarfs in them.

Sneezy:

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Sleepy:

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Dopey:

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And Happy:

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One  Daily Mail commenter thought Kate looked more like a garden gnome than a Disney dwarf, though.

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The Chelsea Flower Show also had an incredible installation in honor of The Royal  Horticultural Society’s Patron’s 90th Birthday.

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Among the flowers on display were two that had been named after the Cambridge’s children.

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Before the show, there was a Kate sighting by a Twitter user.

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On the 24th, Kate was papped with Prince George and Princess Charlotte.  Prince George was sitting on a Met Police motorbike with the assistance of four police officers, holding on to the handlebars as he pretended to drive it.  The Cambridge privacy line became even blurrier when media outlets in the UK were permitted to print the photos.

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The photos of Prince George were reminiscent of ones taken of Prince William and Prince Harry when they were young.

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Perhaps the Cambridge’s objections to having their photos taken “off-duty” has more to do with the story the pictures  tell.  The photos of Prince George on a police motorbike with his mother and  sister nearby are image-friendly, photos of him with his nanny are not.

While the Cambridges seem to be on a campaign to ultimately control  their image using social media, social media itself is uncontrollable.  The motorbike photos which many initially assumed would only appear in overseas publications were Retweeted with Kate’s dress identified in less time than it takes to find Waldo.

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Later that day, Kate slipped into the same cream Alexander McQueen coat dress and Jane Taylor fascinator she wore to Prince George’s christening to go with Prince William to his very first Buckingham Palace Garden Party.

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Even Kate has gone to those and yet somehow her 33-year-old  blood royal future king husband remained a Buckingham Palace Garden Party virgin until May 24th of this year.

Jennifer @Chic_Happens_ Tweeted a photo of Princess Diana wearing an outfit very similar to Kate’s Buckingham Palace Garden Party attire.  I inserted a photo of Kate next to it for the sake  of easy comparison.  Soooooo, yeah, that happened.

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Kate also had her glam squad with her at the Garden Party: PA/stylist  Natasha Archer and her hair stylist Amanda Cook Tucker.   Natasha’s boyfriend, royal photographer Chris Jackson, also managed to score an invite.  According to royal.uk, invites to the royal garden parties are a “way of recognising and rewarding public service”.

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Did Amanda Cook Tucker have to swallow a balloon full of wiglets to smuggle them into India or something for this most recent tour?  Nothing about Kate’s garden party hair suggested a need  for an  emergency stylist to be standing by.

Then on May 28th,  the Daily Mail ran a piece on Prince William and Kate taking a private chartered helicopter back to Anmer Hall after Tuesday’s Buckingham Palace Garden Party at a  cost of approximately £5,000.  And the response of DM readers was pretty much what you’d expect.

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What I find interesting is that this helicopter had been chartered at all, considering The Queen has a Sikorsky S-76++ registration number G-XXEB which is primarily used by Prince Charles and in July 2014, the Queen leased an AgustaWestland A109S to be used by William, Kate and other members of the Royal Family.  So why the need to charter a third helicopter?  Who was using the other two?  Hopefully Prince  Andrew didn’t swap them in some kind of shady business deal for magic beans.

But then photos of a Cambridge family outing at the Houghton Hall International Horse Trials with blue bows and matching stripes were published by various outlets such as The Mirror bringing a little peace to the land and a bit more haziness to the Cambridge’s privacy expectations.

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Kate Middleton has been shuffling around her calendar, canceling her Red Cross appearance slated for June 12th and showing up at the Buckingham Palace Garden Party on Tuesday the 10th instead of on Thursday the 12th.  Perhaps the newly appointed equerry Captain Florian Graham-Watson will be able to help Lazy Kate’s existing staff with figuring out which engagements she wants to avoid before they get announced to the media.  So what’s going on Thursday June 12th that the Duchess needs to be officially MIA?  Is there a sale going on at Zara?  Is she having © HRH Catherine Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge 2014 tattooed on her bum?

As Kate arrived at her first event looking like a drugged zoo animal waking up from transport sedation, I wondered if perhaps the Firm is using more aggressive means to get her to show up at events.  Perhaps they hit her with a tranquilizer dart on her way to High Street or gave her Scratch N Sniff chloroform stickers to play with.

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Oh, what fresh hell is this?

Kate’s first Tuesday event was supporting Ben Ainslie’s 2017 America’s Cup bid at the National Maritime Museum.  I can’t imagine British dreamboat and five-time Olympic medalist Ben Ainslie needs royal support for an America’s Cup bid, or even an eBay bid for that matter, but it afforded Kate the opportunity to sport a demure nautical dress by Jaegar in virginal white.

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Hello, Sailor! Ben Ainslie & A Wide-Mouth Kate

Of course Kate’s wide-open mouth had all of the refined dignity of a blow up doll.

blowupdollBut it’s not like she could signal sexual attraction by playing with her hair since she does that all the time.

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Seriously, ALL THE TIME.

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What is going on in her hair that she must always be touching it?  Did the Royal Family implant a tracking device that makes her scalp tingle?  Is there something in there that she’s checking on?  A field mouse or smuggled jewels perhaps?  Is she surreptitiously playing a game of Chutes and Ladders with a tiny magical leprechaun who lives in her hair?  Does she suffer from hair flatulence and therefore constantly has to air out her blowout?

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At Kate’s second event of the day, a Buckingham Palace Garden Party, something crapped lace on her head.  I can only assume it was an aerial assault by some fabric defecating bird because I can’t imagine someone wearing this hat on purpose, let alone matchy-matching it to recycled Alexander McQueen.

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Meanwhile. Sharon Osborne has criticized Kate’s ever-present black eyeliner, deeming it “so dated and way too hard”.  I wonder if that will help or hinder the social media campaign to get Ozzy knighted.

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