Tag Archives: Cate Blanchett

Prince William Flies Solo as Kate’s Eggs Rest

On Tuesday night, celebs such as Cate Blanchett, Emma Watson, Kate Moss, Cara Delevigne and Helena Bonham-Carter attended an event honoring the Ralph Lauren Breast Cancer Center hosted by Prince William at Windsor Castle.  Kate Middleton still hasn’t made a public appearance since April 25th and despite not being slated to attend the event, some guests were hoping for a surprise appearance by the Duchess of Doolittle.  Sure, because Kate is infamous for squeezing in some extra work wherever she can get it, just like she alledgedly used to sneak off in the middle of the night to do covert charity work under the cloak of darkness and fights crime as a caped crusader.

No, sorry, the Duchess whose work total is being padded by Buckingham Palace to now include travel time has no events on the calendar.  She also isn’t affiliated with the Justice League.  Apparently Kate is ducking duties in an effort to get knocked up with the Spare.  She’s convinced herself or at least her husband that she needs to be totally stress-free devoid of all duchess duties in order for her eggs to be more receptive to the notion of fertilization.  Well, she’s lazy, it stands to reason her eggs are as well.

Since George’s birth, there’s always some concocted story that Kate’s already pregnant and with a girl, spun by journalists looking for a headline to make the fictional fairytale seem even more complete.  Even Kate’s publicly tossing back a few glasses of wine and taking the Shotover Jet in Queenstown on April 13th wasn’t enough to dispel the rumors for a while by gossip columnists using faulty math.

There are all sorts of rumors that Kate’s royally peeved with Prince William for his letting loose in Memphis during Guy Pelly’s wedding.  She’s ticked, but not because Wills belted out “Shout”, she’s annoyed because she was ovulating.  Personally I can see why she’s not pleased, since procreation requires sex, she’d probably want to avoid any excess effort and hope for a direct shot to score.  Well, the Mattress made her bed with her Big Willie (so nicknamed for the reason that just made you throw up a little in your mouth as your uterus winced), she’s got to sleep with it.

Now, Kate and Wills did make one cute Grumpy Cat kid.

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Prince William’s petulance and Lazy Katie’s aversion to effort blended together seamlessly to produce an adorable Prince George who has already inspired an abundance of Prince Cranky Pants memes.  Popsugar has a very cute collection of Royal Vacation Tour grumpy pics: http://www.popsugar.com/Prince-George-Unimpressed-34595764#photo-34595812

Prince George has apparently inherited his mother’s dimples, although it’s doubtful we’ll see them much employed, he’s just the future king of the United Kingdom and stands to inherit a vast fortune, which is just such a burden.  The Halfblood Prince seems to favor the Middleton side genetically so hopefully the Windsor genes won’t stage a coup when he’s a teenager.  It’s very possible the Spare will favor the Spencer side.  Can you imagine if Kate gave birth to a daughter who looked like Princess Diana?  I’m fairly certain she can and that she pictures it over and over in her head as she gazes at her Precious.

For now Kate’s eggs are resting comfortably until the next time one is expected to emerge from her ovaries for royal duty.  Her entire reproductive system is very delicate, after all it’s not like reproduction is something every single living organism is capable of… oh, wait, it is.  Kate’s just not a multi-tasker, though, she just can’t be expected to put on a pretty dress for charity and ovulate at the same time.

Both Kate and Prince William want their kids to be close in age because of their own sibling relationships.  The timing for Kate’s conception could have a second motivating factor, though.  It would be beneficial if Kate could be seen smiling coyly with an implied pregnancy glow as she leaves the hospital being treated for acute morning sickness when the Royal Household Expenses are reported at the end of June.  They are bracing themselves for some serious backlash and nothing seems to garner more good will than popping out a royal baby.

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