Stop the press, what is that?
On Day 3 of the royal tour, Kate Middleton continued to be an agent of chaos by wearing flats.
After remaining faithful to her character this tour in high-heeled court shoes and towering wedges, Kate Middleton busted out out a pair of Xpresso flats. The flashing I anticipated but sensible shoes?
Of course, they didn’t work with the maxi dress by Glamorous but chaos rarely coordinates well.
I actually like this dress maybe because it reminds me of some of Laura Ingalls’ dresses who I still totally want to be when I grow up, except obviously with electricity and WiFi and restaurants that deliver and yoga pants and cable… I wouldn’t have made it five minutes on the prairie.
While Kate was meeting with street children, they wanted her to draw her house so she did.
Since the structure is obviously neither Kensington Palace or the ten bedroom country estate, Anmer Hall, I think it’s safe to assume Kate lives locked in a shed either at her parents’ house in Berkshire or on the Anmer Hall estate. Still, it’s probably bigger than my apartment in Manhattan.
One of the kids helped Kate color it, not realizing Kate lives in a world of white and beige.
Prince William and Kate then had lunch with the Prime Minister. Kate wore this Alice Temperley dress:
Honestly, I couldn’t stop looking at her boobs in this dress. I can’t tell if this is the result of the absence of a bra or if this is the result of one of Kim Kardashian’s boob tape tutorials gone terribly wrong.
Kate paired it with the debut of custom Kiki McDonough earrings.
Supposedly they commemorate Charlotte’s birth, but her birthstone is emerald, not green amethyst or green tourmaline. Kate already has emerald earrings as well as Kiki McDonough green amethyst earrings so it’s a curious choice.
While royal photographers and correspondents took a bus for three hours to Kazrianga, the Cambridges, their luggage and entourage hopped a private plane.
Between tour tedium, the long hot bumpy transportation, and sleep deprivation, I wouldn’t be surprised if the royal correspondents and photographers start spilling some less flattering Cambridge details or their social media updates tomorrow afternoon are just all F-bombs and random quotes from 12 Monkeys because there are some things even liquor can’t hug away.
Once in Kaziranga, they were welcomed by Assamese dancers and a three year old child stomped on a pair of Kate’s wedges which made many go awwww to cover up secret jealously that the kid got to live the dream.
Kate’s Anna Sui maxi dress reminded me of Brady Bunch curtains.