Normally this time of year, royal watchers just get to see slivers through car windows of members of the British Royal Family on their way to the Queen’s Christmas lunch at Buckingham Palace. This week, however, the Royal Family got all of us the gift of drama and there’s no gift receipt so it’s not like we can exchange it for something else like… I don’t know… maybe the absence of drama or even a baker boy hat so we can look cute while watching Apocalyptic levels of melt-down on Royal Twitter.
On Monday, @KensingtonRoyal released a creepy Christmas photo of the Cambridges. Between Kate missing an arm, dead smiles, sterile background, an unconvinced George and the expression on Charlotte’s face warning us that the man with the bloody axe is behind us, it’s not hard to imagine why Lupo might not have wanted anything to do with this family portrait.
On Wednesday, Princess Michael who is married to the Queen’s cousin, decided the perfect way to welcome Meghan Markle into the Royal Family was with a racist brooch.
If Princess Michael didn’t have past incidents like yelling “go back to the colonies” at black diners at a restaurant in New York City and saying she couldn’t possibly be racist because she thinks black people are “adorable”, then it would be easier to cut her some slack. Because really, who wears a racist brooch to meet a biracial woman? Who would even own a racist brooch? Jewelry should never be used for evil. Someone needs to take away that woman’s tiaras while she thinks about what she’s done.
Even if you give Princess Michael the benefit of the doubt, there is basically only one scenario that would explain why she would ‘accidentally’ wear a racist brooch and that’s if she was thinking to herself, ‘I hope Meghan knows I’m not the racist my own words prove me to be, I have lots of black friends like that girl who brought me my coat that one time and… and… that blackamoor brooch. I know, I’ll wear the brooch to make her feel at home, maybe she’s descended from the slave it was modeled after. God, I’m such a good person. I should be Queen.’
Princess Michael has since pseudo-apologized through a representative who noted that it was “a gift and has been worn many times before.” I did a quick Google search and couldn’t find evidence of past racist brooch outings (which doesn’t mean it hasn’t been worn before, it just means I gave up before finding the photos) but if it’s indeed had multiple wearings then why didn’t someone mention to Princess Michael that she might not want to wear such an offensive piece, especially since she has tons of brooches that aren’t? Just a hint of her massive collection:
While some people have managed to blame the incident on Meghan for being too black or not black enough, most aren’t buying that this was an innocent whoopsie:
On Thursday, Kensington Palace Tweeted out a total of three engagement photos of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, the third candid shot being shared as a thank you for all the lovely wishes. They had been taken earlier in the week at Frogmore House by photographer hottie Alexi Lubomiriski.
They are gorgeous photos of gorgeous people in a gorgeous setting, but I’m still not sure why in the second one, Meghan is touching Prince Harry’s face like she’s pretending she’s Mary Ingalls trying to get a sense of what her fiancé looks like.
It just seems so contrived. Normally photos of eyes wide shut are automatically tossed. If eyes are the windows to the soul, is the message here that Meghan’s heart is closed to Harry until further notice? If so, it sucks to be him, but maybe select another one from the photos celebrating their love.
And Harry wrapping Meghan up in his coat like he’s Mark Darcy with a new diary? Colin Firth did it better. Harry’s only got a couple of inches of spare coat fabric, someone who likes us just as we are would make sure his coat went around before referencing an iconic movie scene.
In the third photo, Meghan is hanging on Prince Harry, body language we’ve seen before in the pictures from Jamaica. It’s a little bit needy, a little bit possessive and a little bit Mariah Carey. I mean, Meghan looks like she’s literally dragging him down. Alexi Lubomiriski is an insanely talented photographer and there’s no doubt they were given lots of amazing pictures to choose from so it’s interesting these were the photos they selected, the ones that spoke to them as a couple.
In two of the three photos that were released, Meghan and Prince Harry look like they are dressed for two very different occasions with Meghan off to the Golden Globe Awards while Prince Harry is off to his job as a Human Resources Manager at a pharmaceutical company. And does Harry just own that one suit? Or is it like a superhero costume thing and he’s got multiples?
What really riled royal watchers up, though, is the price tag of the Ralph & Russo gown Meghan wore, estimated to cost £56,000 (around $75,000).
I’m of about 417 different minds on this and none of them agree. It’s a stunning dress, Meghan looks glamorous and just ridiculously beautiful in it and she’s getting married, if you aren’t going to splash out when promising to spend a lifetime with someone then really nothing is worth celebrating. But $75,000? Holy fuck knuckles that’s an obscene amount of money for one frock. The Palace said it was paid for privately but gave no information on who actually purchased it. Meghan could have easily paid for it out of the $5 million or so she earned as an actress. Prince Harry could have paid for it out of money he has inherited. Or Prince Charles could have paid for it out of the Duchy of Cornwall which means technically taxpayers paid for it in which case every single resident of the UK should get to borrow it at least once.
A gown that expensive seems a curious choice for someone who describes herself as a humanitarian because I don’t know how someone can reconcile knowing the dire conditions in which so many are living and such a lavish purchase. It just seems a bit tone deaf to the fact that in her new country at a time of austerity, hard-working taxpayers are having to rely on food banks because they can’t scrape up enough money to feed their children while this winter tens of thousands in the UK will freeze to death in their own homes which they can’t afford to heat. The gown’s cost raises the concern that Meghan might be going the Marie Antoinette route instead of becoming the Diana 2.0 her estranged half-sister Samantha and her former friend Ninaki Priddy claim she’s been plotting to become since childhood. On the other hand, that gown is phenomenal so good for her.
As royal watchers were still fiercely debating Meghan’s engagement gown cost, on Friday the Daily Mail ran an article about Kate Middleton spending £119,000 ($160,000) on new clothing and accessories this year. That’s a whole lot of money for very little return, Kate’s numbers will be abysmally low again this year. Curious timing for the Daily Mail to run that piece. With Meghan now in the fold, I think we’ll start seeing the press play all sorts of new reindeer games.