Tag Archives: McQueen

The Duchess of Cambridge’s Deadly Poppy Field

Remember the scene from The Wizard of Oz when the Wicked Witch of the West nearly succeeds in offing Dorothy with the Deadly Field of Poppies?

poppyfieldoz

Well, McQueen has managed to capture that feeling of nearly dying in your sleep in a custom dress for Kate Middleton.  She wore it at a Buckingham Palace reception honoring Olympic and Paralympic athletes.

hellopoppydress

The print is from the 2017 Pre-Spring/Summer Collection.  Its original dress form is this:

mcqueenpoppydress

It also comes in a blouse.

mcqueenpoppyblouse

Sarah Burton likely realized the overdose potential of this poppy print and Kate should have just said no to it in this much fabric.  It’s so grandmotherly, it is possible the cut died of natural causes, but the toxicology report suggests foul play.  The Daily Mail article has lots of photos of the fashion crime scene.

An opium overdose at least seems like it would be a more peaceful way to go than the death-by-boredom the Cambridges are inflicting on royal-watchers.  I couldn’t even make it all the way through the Canada tour which was as exciting as looking at a neighbor’s vacation pics.  In Tom Sykes’ article What’s Wrong With William and Kate’s Tour of Canada? he discusses the global disinterest in a tour that fizzled before it even started.  Once again the Cambridge’s insisted on having their private events, shutting out a shrunken press pack for a wine tasting, a sail, and whatever else happened while I had nodded off.

As interest in the future king and queen consort wanes, the question remains, could Prince William and Kate possibly be this dull, or are they attempting to have the private lives with public figure perks they crave by boring the masses into a deep slumber?  Kate’s dress and hair so amped up with add-ons she looked like her own bobblehead doll suggest she wanted to stand out in a crowd of dark hues and normal-headed people, but maybe the Paper Doll Duchess just wants to be noticed on her own terms, when she’s packing poppies.

vm-kateinmcqueenpoppy

Fortunately for the Olympic and Paralympic Athletes at the Buckingham  Palace, Prince Harry followed behind Kate’s poppy field, so if anyone felt themselves glazing over from Kate’s small talk about George liking swimming, fencing and hockey and Charlotte already being an accomplished equestrian at 17 months, he could Glinda them right out of permanent sleep.  Not sure why gingers seem to get stuck with revival duties for the poppy-pickled, but long live Good King Harry because this whole Synchronized Head Tilt wouldn’t even qualify the Cambridges for the Feigned Interest competition at the Royal Olympics.

synchronizedheadtilt

redheart

signature-copy

 

 

McQueen Outfits McDuchess in PMS Pink

Prince William and Kate Middleton visited Adelaide today.  The McDuchess went with McQueen, wearing a Peplum top and Pleated A-line skirt in a shade I like to call PMS Pink.

I’ve got a blazer, two sweaters and a top in that exact same shade, purchased during those 24 hours of super-girliness every month right before I turn into a werewolf.  It is hormonally-unbalanced-I-should-have-white-furniture-and-Laura-Ashley-curtains-and-bake-banana-bread blush pink.

As she descended the steps from the airplane, Kate had that glassy-eyed Postcards from the Edge look of a woman in dire need of a Little House on the Prairie DVD set and a pint of Edy’s Peanut Butter Cup Ice Cream.

KateGlassyEyed

The events for the day were summarized in an article on the Australian Broadcasting Company site as:

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have met with disadvantaged young people in Adelaide’s northern suburbs, as part of a short visit to the city.

The area has serious problems with a high percentage of unemployed young adults and there’s also the looming specter of joblessness for the area when the local car manufacturer closes.

So how does the Duchess reach the “disadvantaged”?  By being obliviously attired.  The plunging neckline with some supportive help from a well-engineered padded bra provided a few teenagers and queued up small children with a bird’s eye view of her royal décolletage.  Of course, strutting down a catwalk in a sheer dress revealing her bra and panties was how she caught her Prince’s attention so maybe the top she selected was actually career advice for those just starting out.  The cost of what she wore seems a little obnoxious.  Here’s the breakdown for just that one outfit:

Alexander McQueen Peplum top – $961.18

Alexander McQueen A-line pleated skirt- $759.11

L.K. Bennett ‘Natalie’ clutch – $269.25

L.K. Bennett ‘Sledge’ shoe – $345.00

Annoushka Jewellery Pearl drop earrings – $1,834.25

Asprey Gold Necklace – $13,500.00

Ballon Bleu de Cartier Watch – $6,394.64

Amanda Cook Daily Hair Service – $500.00

Eternity Band (Estimated)- $6,500.00

Total: $31,063.43

Add in the cost of Princess Diana’s Engagement Ring valued at $420,650 and Kate Middleton has got $451,713.00 on her body, not including her wedding band.

Because of the sentimental value of the engagement ring, I’ll keep that out of the equation.  Not all of these items were specifically purchased for today, the watch and eternity band were a gift from her husband and I’d pay her to stop wearing those tired nude pumps, but still, $31,063.43 for that one outfit?  Seriously?  Yeah, she looks nice, but does she look so nice that it doesn’t matter that tens of thousands of people in the UK will die this winter because they can’t afford to heat their homes?  Is the outfit more visually satisfying than meals would be to families starving to death?

The British Monarchy is trying to prove it is still beneficial to the people of the Commonwealth.  Maybe they should be less worried about their own self-preservation and more about the people they are trying to retain in the name of the Crown.  A monarchy is an outdated institution, it already has an expiration date, no one knows what it is just yet but it’s very possible Prince George will never be King.  Maybe the best way to prolong the monarchy is to show that those in the line of succession and their consorts actually care more about human beings than outfits, yachting, and wine tasting.

Despite all the designer labels she’s worn, Kate Middleton once said, “By far the best dressing up outfit I ever had was a wonderful pair of clown dungarees, which my Granny made.”

Imagine all of the people who could have been helped with the $31,063.43 worth of clothing and accessories she wore today that pale in comparison to those clown dungarees in her heart.  Her attire just seems so wasteful.

The red Catherine Walker coat that will forever be associated with Kate flashing the New Zealand press upon arrival cost $11,775.00.  Maybe Kate will wear it inside Buckingham Palace, twirling around in front of the Queen to see if she can speed up the whole line of succession thing.  Because other than giving the Queen heart palpitations, Kate really can’t wear that coat outside ever again without all of us associating it with the wardrobe malfunction.  Is this woman really fit to be a future Queen Consort when she can’t even manage the task of not flashing strangers?

I hope Australia and New Zealand do reap some benefit from this Royal Vacation Tour that will make up for millions they spent for the privilege of picking up the vacation tab.  Perhaps both countries will see a boost in tourism so CopyKates can visit the place where Kate played with her hair or the spot where Prince William looked petulant or the area where the Lazy Duo did nothing at all.

redheart

 

signature copy