Oh dear, it’s worse than I thought. Meghan Markle has crazy eyes.
Crazy eyes are practically mandatory for marrying into the British Royal Family since Princess Diana joined The Firm. Back in July, I pointed out the set on Kate Middleton which tend to happen when Prince William is paying attention to her whereas Meghan’s crazy eyes occur when she is gazing at the love of her life, the camera.
Find someone who looks at you the way Meghan Markle looks at a camera. I really ship these two.
I’m not the only one to notice the illicit affair Meghan is carrying out with the lens right under Harry’s nose:
I guess it wouldn’t be a Windsor wedding unless there were three in the marriage.
On Thursday, Prince Harry and Meghan traveled to Wales where they did a walk-about, toured Cardiff Castle and visited the StarHub community centre. They were over an hour late due to a train delay for which Meghan apologized with one of her exaggerated expressions straight from the Kate Middleton School of Over-Emulating Human Emotion.
Meghan needs a master class, though. Her apology expression and humbly overwhelmed expression are almost indiscernible (red arrows by moi).
It may have been good enough for Suits, but taxpayers expect more. I mean they rarely get it from the Royal Family but they do still expect it.
Meghan’s choice of attire proved controversial with the Daily Mail going so far as to claim, “Never has one outfit been designed to send so many messages”. Is Meghan really using clothing to convey secret non-verbal communication? That kinda sounds like something a tinfoil hat-wearing stalker would say to the police to explain what he was doing lurking in the bushes in a suit made of Velcro with duct tape roll bracelets and a bag full of kitty litter. But then again, it is the Daily Mail so…
I guess the Stella McCartney coat which resembles a robe and Meghan’s messy bun do sort of say “Fuck you, I want to be home in my jammies” but that’s basically my default mood so I’m not going to cast stones over that one.
Okay, maybe just one stone, really a pebble. With Meghan constantly brushing her hair away and touching her face at the last two engagements, she looks like she desperately wants someone to call her a Manic Pixie Dream Girl.
In addition to the messy bun, traditionalists were pearl-clutching over Meghan’s shoulder-revealing Theory top, her Hiut Denim jeans and mismatched earrings.
I’m sorry, but after you’ve seen the Duchess of Cambridge prancing around in violently tight Heimlich Maneuver jeggings and the two tight-trousers princes showing off their pocket rockets, a pair of black denim jeans and a little extra shoulder isn’t that big of an eyebrow-raiser. The bar has been set so low it’s now just a crevice in the Boulevard of Broken Protocol. Granted Meghan’s attire wouldn’t fly in most offices except for maybe on Casual Friday, but I find Meghan and Harry’s hand-holding and whispering to each other during official engagements to be more unprofessional than some exposed clavicle. The lovey-dovey demonstrative displays of these first engagements are a bit too much, they’re at work. At any job, if you engaged in similar behavior with your significant other while on the clock, you’d probably be called into HR for a meeting about it because even if the boss gave you a pass, you know Janice from Accounts Receivable would say something.
Meghan appeared at ease chatting with the gathered crowd.
For one fan, she wrote “Hi Kaitlin” on her pad, an action the press identified as a protocol-breaking autograph. Since Meghan didn’t sign her name, I’m a little foggy as to why it would be a violation of a royal rule by someone who isn’t even royal yet, but judging by all the fuss, Caitlin can now take over the world with that scribbled greeting so hopefully she will only use her powers for good.
Thus far, Meghan’s introduction to the Royal Family just seems like a reboot of the Fergie Years. I’ve already watched this program and it wasn’t that great the first time around, plus I don’t have a lot of faith in this cast.
I do hope that Prince Harry and Meghan live a long blissfully happy life together and that she flourishes in her royal role but between the velocity of this relationship and Meghan’s crocodile smile, I can’t help but think the royal couple are like Tick-Tock and Captain Hook from Peter Pan.
Hopefully the only thing Harry loses will be his hair.