Tag Archives: Meghan Markle

Royal Romance Still On

There have been lots of rumors floating around that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle broke up before Christmas and he went to Norway  without her.

Emily Andrews of The Sun was kind enough to answer my inquiry about the swirling gossip and confirmed Meghan and Harry are still very much together.

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Emily Andrews got the exclusive that Meghan and Kate Middleton have finally met.  For real.  On January 10th.

I can’t imagine what Kate and Meghan chatted about.  Kate’s not exactly the gal pal type and I feel badly for whatever woman winds up with her as a sister-in-law.  While supposedly the meeting went well, I just keep picturing the 1988 film Heathers with Kate dragging Meghan out of ear-shot and telling her, “You wanted to be a member of the most powerful clique in school.  If I wasn’t the head of it, I’d want the same thing.”  Then in an attempt to bond with Kate over charity work, Meghan was probably told:

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Reportedly, Meghan gave Kate a journal as a birthday gift.  I can’t imagine what kind of deep thoughts Kate will fill it with, but maybe Meghan started it off for her.  Hopefully it wasn’t in Kate’s handwriting: “People think that just because you’re beautiful and popular, life is easy and fun.  No one understood, I had feelings too…”

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The Night Before Christmas


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‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro’ Sandringham House,

Not a Middleton was stirring, not one single louse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

But none for Meghan Markle who wouldn’t be there;

The royals were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of taxpayer funding danc’d in their heads,

And the Queen in her crown, and Philip in his cap,

Probably muttered, “I’m too old for this crap”-

When all through the tabloids there arose such a clatter,

Prince Harry’s romance hardly a private matter.

Away to the press Meghan’s relatives flew like a flash,

Selling old photos and videos for quick easy cash.

The American actress on a scarcely watched show,

Was attacked on social media as a fame-hungry hoe;

When what on Blind Gossip should appear,

But a hinted campaign to portray Meghan as saint of the year,

With pr reps at the ready to lay it on thick,

That whole demure duchess candidate shtick.

Little had been known about Prince Harry’s new flame,

And rapidly she became 2016’s most Googled actress name,

A porn site had a 1430% increase in searches for the vixen,

Who has been called by some a modern Wallis Simpson:

“Divorced, American, sex scenes, not suitable at all!”

Critics proclaimed her social media posts took gall.

Instagram bracelets and the initials necklace really don’t fly,

For romantically involved adults in the public eye.

But at least Harry will be at Sandringham, unlike William and Kate, too,

Who will be spending Christmas at Bucklebury, breaking tradition anew.

But even as the Cambridges disappear out of sight,

It still won’t be as bad as when William made the staff watch Twilight.

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Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

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Prince Harry’s Rumored New Squeeze

On Sunday, an actress few had ever heard of was served up by tabloids around the world as being romantically paired with the British Royal Family’s ginger dish.  Meghan Markle went from being an actress on a show no one watches but still somehow has approximately 2 million weekly viewers to Prince Harry’s rumored love interest with global outlets scrambling to provide more courses for the rumor-hungry masses.

Response to the royal gossip is why Disney fairytales should come with a warning that anyone who dares capture the heart of a prince will be publicly tried as a witch.  If she sinks, she’s obviously a gold digger and if she floats her boobs aren’t real.  Either way, no one smiles that much without having a couple of German kids baking in a gingerbread house so just dig up pictures of her in her underwear until a source can be found to supply a quote about milk going sour or someone suddenly feeling cold in her presence.

To me Meghan Markle seems like a good match for Prince Harry so I wasn’t prepared for all the negative comments hurled at her in comment sections of articles.  Most surprising was the blatant racism, a lot of flagging has gone down on social media and news site comment sections this week with Meghan’s fans patrolling her Instagram for vicious vitriol.  Commenters have found Meghan too old, too American, too divorced, too Catholic, too “unsuitable”, too “mixed breed”, too Koo Stark, too Fergie, too Angelina Jolie, too “fame hungry”.  For some she is too too.

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Granted, American divorcees don’t have the best history in the British Royal Family but beyond the risk of the occasional bleeding wall at Buckingham Palace and the Queen Mum’s ghost slamming back some ghost gin before noon, can the living really make a fuss when Prince Charles, Princess Anne and Prince Andrew have all had their I dos undone?

Unlike Europe’s most recent princess bride, Sofia Hellqvist, Meghan’s humanitarian efforts date back at least two years before meeting her prince so they aren’t part of some PR campaign to clean up her image.   Meghan can also deliver a solid speech and hold the attention of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, making her better at duchess duties than Kate Middleton and Meghan is merely a rumored girlfriend with a day job.

I’m sure the Royal Family would rather do without Meghan’s sexy underwear scenes in Suits but after five years of Commando Kate flashing her bum around the globe, maybe they find her character’s full-coverage knickers refreshing.

An interview with Meghan’s half-sister,  Samantha Grant, presented a version of Meghan that casts her in an unflattering light.  Samantha described Meghan as a “social climber” and princess-in-waiting who has fancied the ginger prince since childhood which makes her sound a little too Kate 2.0 for comfort.  According to an article in The Sun, when Meghan became famous, she didn’t provide the family with the emotional and financial support Samantha feels she should have.  According to Meghan’s half-sister, “The royal family would be appalled by what she’s done to her own family.  The truth would kill her relationship with Prince Harry.”

There was some confusion as to whether or not Samantha actually provided the quotes with some royal watchers claiming she never granted an interview.  Just going by Samantha Grant’s Twitter page, it seems she was saying she didn’t give interviews to individual papers that quoted her, not realizing initially they were recycling her original quotes.

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Of course, all families have their dysfunction and Samantha’s Twitter post suggests at least some of her remarks were edited in a manner to better fit the story.  Meghan’s mother laughed off requests for information about Meghan’s relationship with Prince Harry, saying she couldn’t talk about that and Meghan’s father has been unreachable in Mexico.  But in a bid to leave no stone unturned, the press is digging as far as it can into Meghan’s past with the Daily Mail excavating her 2014 Ice Bucket Challenge done with her rumored then-boyfriend, Rory McIlroy, a friendly tabloid reminder that Meghan has had relationships in the past with men who weren’t Prince Harry.  Trollop.

The expectations for a prince’s potential mate are evolving and it’s unlikely the Queen would say no should Harry ask for permission to marry Meghan at some point but will the relationship survive the court of public opinion?  No one has led a pristine life, but the press seems to be digging hard trying to hit dirt with Meghan Markle.  Is it because Prince Harry managed to keep this rumored romance under wraps for several months and they’re playing catch-up with a vengeance or is it because Meghan doesn’t fit any of the existing Disney princess templates?  Everyone deserves to be lucky in love but with such a rigorous screening process for the job of Princess Harry, what kind of applicants will even apply?  While all of this is unconfirmed speculation, the only thing I really care about is that whomever Prince Harry winds up with makes him happy.  It will probably be easier for him to find her if we don’t crowd around him asking him are we there yet.

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