On Monday, Kate Middleton proved she will show up for an event she’s not even scheduled to attend if there’s a celebrity she gets to meet, even if it’s a guy in a Paddington Bear costume along with the rest of the cast and crew of Paddington 2.
People has video of Kate dancing with Paddington. I’m not sure how a woman allegedly suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum managed to be twirled around like that but I almost threw up just watching it and I’m definitely not pregnant.
There are a couple of possible explanations for Kate going from bed ridden in the care of doctors at Kensington Palace to Dancing Queen. The first is that Kate probably just had regular morning sickness but the Palace Press Office declared it Hyperemesis Gravidarum to make Kate sound like a brave little trooper to give the rather dull duchess something that seems like a personality trait. The second far more credible-sounding excuse is that Carole Middleton has Kate locked in a dungeon somewhere and has assumed her identity because what woman in her thirties would look this frumpy on purpose?
With all the Single White Femaling that’s been happening in that family, it’s pretty much inevitable Carole will wind up in the Queen Consort role. It’s always been just one, “Does this bottle of chloroform smell strange to you?” away.
And what is the deal with the trousers on the two princes? Are they in some kind of competition to see who can show off the family jewels the most? Are they trying to make the Pants Package a fashion trend? There are children from your charities present and I don’t think showing off your trouser trout is how you look after Paddington Bear.