The Daily Mail has its own take on Jason Knauf, Communications Secretary for the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry. They suggest the spin doctor is neither an idiot or the most evil adversary the British Royal Family has ever faced, he is simply a yes puppet perched on the tyrannical hand of the Petulant Prince who listens to no one on his staff. As Alfred, Lord Tennyson’s poem Charge of the Light Brigade details, very bad things can happen when people blindly follow a leader who blunders.
If Prince William is behind the wheel fully intent on driving the British Monarchy off a cliff and Punxsutawney PR Puppet Jason is just along for the ride and doesn’t see his spine, exactly how many months remain until the winter of our discontent?
I’m not really sure, I sort of lost interest when I realized the answer might involve math.
Plus, the Cambridges have a curious way with their numbers. On Thursday March 10th, they may have undertaken two or three engagements. The first engagement at Maytree, a suicide counsel center, was labeled a private one. Normally these private engagements do wind up counting towards their dismally low annual totals, but at this point the Court Circular’s website hasn’t been updated with the latest for confirmation so I’m sticking with a total of two for Thursday.
“Forward, the Prince Brigade!
Charge for the cameras!” he said.
Waiting photographers were told to go away, part of Prince William’s ongoing campaign to limit the number of royal photographers permitted at their engagements.
In the photos of Kate that made it on social media, she looked rather rough which shows why it’s a good idea in general to be nice to photographers.
Kate’s right eyelid (left in the above photo) was drooping more than the other. Causes for unilateral ptosis can be attributed to either natural aging or be a side-effect of Botox. There’s nothing natural about how quickly Kate is aging, especially since she’s said to enjoy the deadening embrace of neurotoxin. The puffiness of Kate’s right lid (photo left) in comparison to the left suggests a likely Botox-assist.
Kate was so keenly keen on showing her keenness for suicide awareness, she didn’t even bother taking off her coat at Maytree or for the first official engagement at St. Thomas Hospital where she and Prince William met with Jonny Benjamin whose suicide attempt was stopped by Neil Laybourn six years ago. Once back at Kensington Palace for a group discussion, Kate finally took off her coat.
The body language and forced expressions of William and Kate on Thursday suggested they were uncomfortable, but those revealing the most agonizingly painful moments of their lives when they were so bereft of hope they tried to commit suicide did their very best to try to make William and Kate feel okay about having to be there.
Oh, yeah. It was hard to watch as many commented.
On Friday, William and Kate had another joint engagement. Those crazy kids, giving us twice the uselessness with an XLP event meeting at-risk youth who have benefited from the mentoring program. Kate even wore a new red and white checked outfit by Eponine. I think I probably liked it but I couldn’t really tell because of the same ol’ problem.
The Daily Mail has a gazillion photos and yet not a single one of Kate without her clutch firmly held against her crotch disturbing the visual lines and minds everywhere.
Seriously, what is in that thing, a vibrator set all the way up to jackhammer? That would explain all the over-the-top random mouth-agape expressions.
On Friday on Instagram, someone had PR blundered again with this post.
Quite a few people made the same comment that William looked like he was peeing on flowers.
I actually noticed he looked like he was peeing at the same time I processed the clenched buttocks and his super wedgie so my initial thought was that William was very angry about having to pee on those flowers. He really does resent everything, doesn’t he, even urination? I noticed I wasn’t the only one who saw His Royal Wedgie.
I don’t care how neutered William’s staff is, this photo should not have been posted on Kensington Palace’s Instagram account. Even if William said, “I don’t think anything quite captures the tragic loss of life of the Japan tsunami like a picture where it looks like I’m holding my willy,” someone should have replied, “What the fuck is wrong with you? Let us do our jobs. We don’t walk into your luxury resort suites while you’re on holiday and tell you how to do nothing, we know you’ve got totally fucking useless all figured out.”
I’ve never viewed Charge of the Light Brigade as a story of courage. I fail to see the honour of silent self-sacrifice.
True courage is standing up to a leader you know is wrong. Having the strength to say, “Sooo, noticed the Death Valley sign, saw you blunder, let’s brainstorm a new strategy so we don’t all have to die. ‘K?”
The army of media continues to storm the Cambridges with critical articles while all the world wonders with Camilla Tominey taking the latest shot while Ian Burrell of The Independent also thundered. Shattered and sundered they might ride back, but not the six hundred.