Tag Archives: Prada

BAFTAs Barf-ta

After spending most of his seven year tenure as President of the British Academy of Film and Television Academy missing in action, Prince William showed up to Sunday’s award show at the Royal Opera House with Kate Middleton.

This was the third BAFTA Award Show for Prince William and Kate’s first.  For Kate’s BAFTA Awards debut, she arrived in custom Alexander McQueen looking like Laura Ingalls dressed up as Harriet Oleson for Halloween.


The original Long Tier Violet Jacquard dress from Alexander McQueen’s 2016 resort collection that Kate had modified cost $7,765 (£6,218).


Kate’s McQueen box clutch retailed for $2,242 (£1,795).


Kate’s Prada Wavy-Cut Suede Pumps which were visible when Kate lifted her hem to climb the red-carpeted steps cost $750.


So that’s over $10,500 to look like a shrunken hunched-backed Harriet, not including the earrings which Kate first debuted in 2011.


Not much is known about the drop earrings, although Rebecca English confirmed on Twitter they are not a loaner pair from the Queen.


There was an amusing rumor floating before the BAFTAs that some actresses were concerned Kate would “out-shine” them at the award show.


If there really was any concern at all, it was probably that Kate would go full-on fan-girl.

Kate has a history of becoming star-struck at events with celebrities and was so giddy meeting Jackie Chan at a Creative Collaboration: UK & China event that a Hong  Kong journalist covering it wrote, “Most unexpectedly, Princess Kate, who should be used to meeting and greeting dignitaries and upper echelons of society, suddenly lightened up with great delight and was very girlish when meeting Jackie Chan.”

It was actually nice to see Kate looking happy upon arrival at an event.  Too often she appears groggy and trepidatious, like she’s just coming to after being hit with a tranquilizer dart.


I like happy Kate.  I just wish she brought even a fraction of this enthusiasm to other events.


Unfortunately, the Duchess of Cambridge only appears genuinely engaged and interested in the presence of celebrities and Ben Ainslie.  When it comes to her charities, Kate sometimes looks like she can barely keep her eyes open.




Emmys 2014 Red Carpet

At the 2014 Emmy Awards, fashion took a wrong turn down a dark alley and then raided the dumpsters.

Worst red carpet ever.  Hollywood flew over the cuckoo’s nest and Nurse Ratched gave a fashion lobotomy to the stragglers.

The Emmy’s Red Carpet had way too much tulle and taffeta for grown adults.  Sarah Paulson, Lena Dunham, Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting and Melissa McCarthy (left to right or rather left to wrong) all channeled their inner fairy princesses and proved why you should never take anything Lindsay Lohan gives you, even if she swears it’s just a mint.


Sarah Paulson, Lena Dunham, Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting and Melissa McCarthy in Fairy Princess Fails

The only one who successfully pulled off the ballerina princess look was Sarah Hyland in Christian Siriano.


Sarah Hyland in Christian Siriano

Sadly, this is the best Melissa McCarthy has ever looked, but she seems unable to escape the bead-defecating Chico’s pigeon that usually dumps some sort of cheaply fabricated design element on her, this time the offending sparkle landed around the waist of her Marchesa skirt.  Somehow she still hasn’t explored jewelry as a shiny alternative.


Marchesa (and I’m assuming heroin) did this to Christina Hendricks.


Christina Hendricks in Marchesa

Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig should sit in the corner and think about what they did to one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood.

Mayim Bialik from Big Bang Theory said she wanted to look “hot and holy” at the Emmys this year.  Mayim is an Orthodox Jew and while I respect her wanting to be covered up for religious reasons, when I first saw this, I thought, “Holy crap, that’s one steaming pile of hideous electric blue lace.”


Mayim Bialik in Oliver Tolentino

Co-star Melissa Rauch showed how to pull off brilliant blue that isn’t flaming fashion poo in her Pamella Roland gown:


Melissa Rauch in Pamella Roland

Also in blue, Christine Baranski went for a deeper hue in this elegant caped Zac Posen dress:

Christine Baranski in ZacPosen

Christine Baranski in Zac Posen

Unfortunately Zac Posen was also responsible for Heidi Klum’s coral column creation.  Perhaps he didn’t want to be her date after all because you have to be trying to make Heidi Klum look this matronly.

Heidi Klum in Zac Posen

Heidi Klum in Zac Posen

Laura Prepon’s confusing Gustavo Cadile seemed like premeditated fashion assault, channeling one of Kim Basinger’s worst red carpet looks:


While Kerry Washington looked like a Pinterest DIY Disaster in this ill-fitting Prada dress with sequin slip detail:

Kerry Washington in Prada

Kerry Washington in Prada

Kate Mara’s J. Mendal dress looked like a desperate tourniquet attempt to stop the crystal detailing from spreading:

Kate Mara in J. Mendal

Kate Mara in J. Mendal

The best of the embellished had to be Julia Roberts in Elie Saab.

Julia Roberts in Elie Saab

Julia Roberts in Elie Saab

Even though up close, the dress sort of looked like a negligee with Disco Viagra glued to it.

Julia Roberts Elie Saab Dress Detail

Julia Roberts Elie Saab Dress Detail

Sadly not everyone who suffered a fashion lobotomy fate even made it out of the straight jacket:

Michelle Monaghan in Giambattista Valli Couture

Michelle Monaghan in Giambattista Valli Couture

Although some of those who did just went with messy hair and apathy as their boldest accessories:

Kristen Wiig in Vera Wang

Kristen Wiig in Vera Wang

Picking the worst of the worst is not an easy feat in this year’s Suckfest of Fashion, but the break-away was probably Breaking Bad’s Betsy Brandt.  Her custom Alice and Olivia dress looked like an old Laura Ashley tablecloth with splattered Easter Egg dye and the styling was so clumsy, it was almost criminal.

Betsy Brandt in Alice and Olivia

Betsy Brandt in Alice and Olivia

Best dressed would have to go to Lizzy Caplan, totally fetch in a black Donna Karan Atelier gown with a halter top, on-trend cut-out sides and white train.  That’s right, I just made “fetch” happen.  And later I’m going to bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles.


All in all, not a good year for Emmys fashion, though.



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Oscars Slumber Party

The Oscars this year were hosted by Ellen DeGeneres, who is the comedic equivalent of a hug, she delivers the warm fuzzies without any inappropriate touching.  Apparently after Seth MacFarlane’s Ode to Boobies, the Oscars wanted to play it more safe and asked Ellen to babysit this year’s most star-studded slumber party.

Liza Minnelli just showed up in her satin jammies.  She must have nodded off in the limo on the way over because someone put a Smurf blue streak in her hair.  I’m assuming it had to be a classic slumber party prank done while Liza was catching some zzzzzz’s, since there’s no pharmacological combination of which I am aware that would make the Smurf Streak seem like an okay idea.


Liza didn’t just wander in by mistake, she was invited because she’s Judy Garland’s daughter and the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences wanted to acknowledge the 75th Anniversary of The Wizard of Oz.  I’m not sure why they took a nostalgic detour and got Pink to sing “Over the Rainbow”, after all they could have just slipped a special 75th Anniversary DVD into the gift bags if they wanted to remind Hollywood what great movies look like, but maybe it was the only way to get Ellen in a dress.


The slumber party theme was continued during a bit in which Ellen ordered twenty pizzas for the A-listers up front.  Real pizza from a real pizza delivery guy named Edgar Martirosyan from Big Mama’s and Papa’s Pizzeria.  I’m assuming during commercial breaks, everyone braided each other’s hair and told ghost stories.


Despite being the responsible adult for the evening, a few winners still appeared to have gotten into the liquor cabinet during Ellen’s watch.  Darlene Love sang the award show awkward while accepting the Best Documentary Oscar and Matthew McConaughey’s acceptance speech should have come with a map because he took the long way when thanking himself for the person he’ll never be.

Fashion for film’s biggest award show was safe, just like the jokes.  Pastels and muted metallics were predicted and the red carpet was a sea of hushed tones.  Very few stand-outs but no one was so bad it got them grounded.

I think Charlize Theron is required by law to show up to all major award shows so fashion bloggers will have someone to crown Best Dressed.  Sometimes black on a red carpet can be risky because the detailing on a black dress doesn’t read well when photographed but of course no fabric on Charlize would ever dare be anything less than spectacular.  Dazzling in Dior.


Fortunately there was Lupita Nyong’o to take a little pressure off of Charlize, arriving in a frothy blue Prada gown that only she could wear so exquisitely, it was a moment of fashion nirvana.

lupitanyong'oJennifer Lawrence fell again for Oscar Fashion, this time while exiting the limo.  This Dior red peplum dress looks gorgeous on her and her best accessory is her sense of humor.


Anne Hathaway went with the same silhouette as last year’s pink Angry Nipple Dress and still missed the mark with this Gucci futuristic breastplate.  How angry can nipples get that they need to be covered in armor?

AnneHathawayPenelope Cruz is so beautiful, everyone has always said she could just tie a bed sheet around her waist and look fabulous.  Well, we were wrong.  Sorry, Penelope, our bad.


This year’s red carpet attempted to evoke old Hollywood glamour, but it left some starlets just looking old.

Fashionistas fawned all over Kate Hudson’s Versace dress but to me it looked a little too Dynasty and not in a good way.


Sally Hawkins was the victim of a Valentino dress trying to suffocate her.  She is too covered up even by Victorian era standards, I’m assuming this frock came with a matching chastity belt.


Julie Delpy looked like a sugar glider in her Jenny Packham gown.

JulieDelpyAnd as much as it pains me to say this, Angelina Jolie looked a bit matronly in Elie Saab. Sob.


This was like the Casual Friday of Oscars.  I believe the hosting tone was intended to make the audience feel like we were all just hanging out with Ellen and Hollywood’s most recognized faces enjoying the evening.  Really, actors are just people with jobs others happen to find interesting, so maybe if society could understand those whose airbrushed images adorn the covers of magazines are just flesh and blood like everyone else, our culture would be less celebrity-obssessed.

But the Oscars aren’t just about actors, it’s a celebration of filmmaking.  Films are a collaborative effort that transport an audience to a crafted realm.  When executed properly, films can be transformative experiences that inspire us, move us, enlighten us, or simply provide a temporary escape from our own problems.  Unlike other forms of artistic expression which are often solo endeavors, film requires the talents of a multitude of skilled artists, from pre-production all the way through the end of post-production, all of whom must unite in creative vision for a singular purpose: to tell a story.  The telling of that story requires a lot of sacrifice by everyone involved, they are made for the love of filmmaking.

This year’s Oscars recognized more than just individual contributions to the collaborative efforts of film, the industry  collectively cried out against the tragic loss of a crew member, 27-year-old assistant camera operator Sarah Jones who was struck by a train on February 20th while on the set of a Gregg Allman biopic called Midnight Rider.  While it’s unclear at this time if the production team knew they only had permission to film on the privately owned land and not on the train tracks themselves, the film industry became united by grief that a crew member’s life had been lost because of unsafe set conditions.  There was an online petition, Slates for Sarah, to include Sarah Jones in the “In Memoriam” segment of the Oscars and crews from around the world sent in pictures of slates with RIP Sarah Jones.  While it seemed the more than 55,000 signatures collected weren’t enough to meet the controversial criteria for inclusion, right before the commercial break, a bar ran across the bottom of the screen with her picture.


That chyron is what I will remember from this year’s Oscars.  When I woke up Monday morning, I thought of Sarah whom I’ve never met and how, with that outpouring of love and support from the industry to which she was so passionately dedicated, she could be at peace.  Slates for Sarah sends the message that despite its grandeur, the value of a human life far surpasses the entire history of cinema.  Maybe Ellen’s relaxed approach to Oscar hosting was just what the world needed to see.  Brad Pitt, one of the world’s biggest celebrities handing out plates is a reminder to all of us that no matter who we are, we are all human and should be helping each other out.

Maybe next year, we should try pushing the human angle even further and the Oscars could be held at Meryl Streep’s house.  Everyone nominated should show up in their flannel jammies, Charlize Theron would still obviously look stunning, Cate Blanchett could bring the Rice Krispy Treats, Matthew McConaughey probably has a great recipe for brownies, after some of Sandra Bullock’s margaritas, everyone could start dishing on their horrible set experiences with Julia Roberts, forgetting she’s in the room.  Maybe George Clooney could challenge Jennifer Lawrence to a game of Twister and everyone would pretend not to notice Liza was still wearing her satin Smurf pajamas.  Anyone who attempted to sing would automatically have to go into the closet to play Seven Minutes in Heaven with Gary Busey and everyone would have to drink a shot every time Helen Mirren said, “That’s so fetch”.  Think about it, Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences.  There’s not a single dance number that could begin to compete with the visual of Jack Nicholson in footed pajamas.


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