Tag Archives: Royal Tour of India

Day 4 – India and Bhutan Tour

First of all, I want to congratulate anyone still following along with this royal tour because I think I’ve lost the will to blink.  I can actually feel my brain glazing over while the stupid spreads through my body like paralyzing neurotoxin.  This tour feels like watching hour after hour of someone else’s vacation footage because, well, that’s exactly what it is.

Many of us have been wondering what the point of this tour is supposed to be.

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These royal tours are claimed to boost tourism but its effects supposedly can’t be measured for a few years, a point at which conveniently there are so many other variables, it’s really impossible to extract any kind of concrete data.  I can’t even commit to the $70 Glamorous maxi dress Kate wore yesterday, I can’t imagine someone spending considerably more on a holiday because Kate Middleton and Prince William went there.  The world already knows about India, far more than the Cambridges seem to.

The tour moment most covered in the international press has been Kate’s flashing moment at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.  I’ve heard that royal photographer, Chris Jackson, who is romantically linked to Kate’s personal assistant, Natasha Archer, captured the most revealing moment, but has decided not to release the photos.  Yeah, that would be super awkward for his girlfriend, plus letting Getty Images have them would probably effect his special access and seat at Wimbledon.  Coming in second is the controversy over the state of Kate’s bare feet revealed at the Gandhi museum.

Other than Kate’s curious boho wardrobe, flashing moment, and previously seen high heel-effected feet, there hasn’t been much to discuss because Kate has opted not to give any speeches or provide anything more than small talk stock comments.

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Day four of the tour was conservation-themed.  William and Kate began the day with a safari in Kaziranga National Park.

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Kate wore a top by RM Williams and Zara biker stretch pants which would have violated my high school’s dress code but Kate thought would be cool to wear as a representative of the UK and the British Monarchy on a royal tour.

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Like we all do on vacation, Kate took some photos during the safari.

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Afterwards, William and Kate spoke to rangers about conservation issues at the Centre for Wildlife Rehabilitation and Conservation.

Not all were impressed with William as champion of conservation.

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Piers Morgan wrote a scathing piece in the Daily Mail.

When royal correspondents and photographers were checking into their hotel, they experienced tremors from the Myanmar earthquake.

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Everyone was fine, though, including the royal couple and their entourage.  Kate changed into a dress by Topshop.

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Prince William and Kate visited the Kaziranga Discovery Centre built by Mark Shand’s charity, Elephant Family.  Mark Shand was the brother of Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, so the event was said to have special significance for them.  Neither William or Kate attended Mark Shand’s funeral in 2014, despite both supposedly being in town, although it’s possible they were off on a secret ski vacation before Prince William jetted off to the Memphis wedding festivities of Guy Pelly and Lizzy Wilson.

Both William and Kate played royal nanny to orphaned baby elephants and rhinos.

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They also spoke to local villagers and Prince William filled in a design element on an elephant sculpture.

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Prince William and Kate then hopped their flight to Bhutan, their luggage causing a bit of an airport traffic jam.

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Day 3 – India and Bhutan Tour

Stop the press, what is that?

On Day 3 of the royal tour, Kate Middleton continued to be an agent of chaos by wearing flats.

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Screen grab from Daily Mail

After remaining faithful to her character this tour in high-heeled court shoes and towering wedges, Kate Middleton busted out out a pair of Xpresso flats.  The flashing I anticipated but sensible shoes?

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Of course, they didn’t work with the maxi dress by Glamorous but chaos rarely coordinates well.

I actually like this dress maybe because it reminds me of some of Laura Ingalls’ dresses who I still totally want to be when I grow up, except obviously with electricity and WiFi and restaurants that deliver and yoga pants and cable… I wouldn’t have made it five minutes on the prairie.

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While Kate was meeting with street children, they wanted her to draw her house so she did.

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Since the structure is obviously neither Kensington Palace or the ten bedroom country estate, Anmer Hall, I think it’s safe to assume Kate lives locked in a shed either at her parents’ house in Berkshire or on the Anmer Hall estate.  Still, it’s probably bigger than my apartment in Manhattan.

One of the kids helped Kate color it, not realizing Kate lives in a world of white and beige.

Prince William and Kate then had lunch with the Prime Minister.  Kate wore this Alice Temperley dress:

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Honestly, I couldn’t stop looking at her boobs in this dress.  I can’t tell if this is the result of the absence of a bra or if this is the result of one of Kim Kardashian’s boob tape tutorials gone terribly wrong.

Kate paired it with the debut of custom Kiki McDonough earrings.

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Supposedly they commemorate Charlotte’s birth, but her birthstone is emerald, not green amethyst or green tourmaline.  Kate already has emerald earrings as well as Kiki McDonough green amethyst earrings so it’s a curious choice.

While royal photographers and correspondents took a bus for three hours to Kazrianga, the Cambridges, their luggage and entourage hopped a private plane.

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Between tour tedium, the long hot bumpy transportation, and sleep deprivation, I wouldn’t be surprised if the royal correspondents and photographers start spilling some less flattering Cambridge details or their social media updates tomorrow afternoon are just all F-bombs and random quotes from 12 Monkeys because there are some things even liquor can’t hug away.

Once in Kaziranga, they were welcomed by Assamese dancers and a three year old child stomped on a pair of Kate’s wedges which made many go awwww to cover up secret jealously that the kid got to live the dream.

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Kate’s Anna Sui maxi dress reminded me of Brady Bunch curtains.

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