Tag Archives: Royal Wedding

George Michael & Princess Diana

2016 was a rough year for celebrity deaths, we lost so many greats.  The one that hit me the hardest was George Michael whom I have loved since I was a little girl.  I credit his sexiness for not only for kicking off an early puberty but for endowing me with a large rack.  All those lustful pre-teen hormones had to go somewhere and for me they settled in my chest (regretfully some of it also made its way to my ass).

I was a devoted fan throughout his career, from Wham!, through his aviator sunglasses days and beyond.  As I noted in Crushes, the “Faith” video still does it for me in a major way.  Despite all of George Michael’s struggles throughout his life, or perhaps because of them, he always felt like a kindred spirit: blessed but broken.

He described what propelled him in various interviews as: “It’s not the something extra that makes a star. It’s the something missing.”  Art in its various forms isn’t a choice, it’s a compulsion, a need to create something that will provide a fleeting sense of wholeness.

George Michael was so underrated as a vocalist.  His live 1992 cover of Queen’s “Somebody to Love” was a worthy tribute to Freddie Mercury who had a four octave range and exceptional control in his head and chest voice, very few singers can do his songs justice.  My favorite non-vocal part of this cover occurs between 3:50-4:00, the Wembley Stadium audience thunderously belts out “love”, Queen’s lead guitarist Brian May chuckles and George does a victorious twirl.

The year after the Freddie Mercury tribute concert, Princess Diana finally met George Michael at a World Aids Day concert.  Diana was a big fan of George Michael’s and after George declined a few opportunities to meet her, when they finally were introduced, they became fast friends.  Diana’s former chef, Darren McGrady, revealed some details about their relationship in a Daily Mail piece.

George spent a lot of time with Diana and helped her through her separation with Prince Charles, she would also ring him up and they would chat.  A tape of one such conversation exists in the safety deposit box of Andros Georgiou, one of George’s friends.  The back story and some other interesting anecdotes about Princess Diana and George Michael can be read in this piece.

George regretted not speaking with Diana in the two years before her death, life just got in the way and he always assumed she must have so many callers, he didn’t want to be an intrusion.  After Princess Diana’s death, George didn’t have much contact with her sons but told Piers Morgan in a 2011 interview that once at a Christmas party Princess Diana threw at Kenington Palace, he declined to honor an impromptu request from Prince William to sing, admitting he felt terrible about saying no to “probably the future king of England” but was too embarrassed to sing in front of small crowds, joking “there was a day I would have been taken to the Tower”.  Because of George’s close bond with Princess Diana, for Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding, George wanted to give them a special gift and recorded a cover of Stevie Wonder’s “You and I” for their wedding.  He confirmed through a mutual friend that they both liked the song before making the track for them, hoping that they would be able to use it to raise donations for The Royal Wedding Charity Fund.

For me, it is the best thing to have come out of the Royal Wedding.

While George Michael’s scandals have been published exhaustively throughout the tabloids, much less ink has been dedicated to his charitable nature.  He was a kind gentle generous soul who quietly donated a lot of money to AIDS and cancer organizations, children’s charities, animal rescues and private individuals he heard about who needed help.  He not only gave of his money, but his time as well, volunteering at homeless shelters and various charities, asking fellow volunteers that his presence remain anonymous.

George Michael’s Older album has been said to have helped Prince William get through his mother’s death.  I imagine George Michael’s death had to have brought up old pain for Prince William, but hopefully it also reminded him of the positive impact his mother and her pop star friend had on the lives of so many and will inspire him to create his own legacy.

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Once Upon A Time Three Years Ago

Once upon a time in the United Kingdom, a commoner known as Waity Katie walked down the aisle where her Prince was waiting.  She emerged from the church a Duchess and asked her new husband, “Isn’t this the happiest day of your life?”  The Prince shook his head no.  “This fuss, Catherine.  It’s all too much for me.”

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Once upon a time was exactly three years ago.  Thankfully I was in Greece at the time and missed most of the pre-wedding hype.  Regretfully, I didn’t stay longer to avoid the exhaustive recap on every single channel.

With the exception of Kate’s makeup which reporters indicated was done by the bride herself, Kate’s bridal attire was celebrated as modern and elegant.  Personally I found it a bit underwhelming, I mean if I suffered from some sort of major head trauma that caused me to lose all self-respect and wait eight years for a guy to marry me, my dress would be made out of diamonds and there would be uplighting installed on my shoes.  But whatever, I was going through some serious post-Greece feta withdrawal at the time and thought as long as she was happy what did it matter.  She just needed someone to show her how to properly apply eyeliner, her makeup was way too transvestite hooker and not in a good way.

I liked the idea of a commoner marrying her Prince.  No one should be told who to love.  I decided to refinish a cabinet in a shade of Creamy Delicious Feta White and wondered what charities the Duchess would support.

It would be almost nine months after the wedding before Kate announced the four charities she would start out with: Action on Addiction, East Anglia’s Children’s Hospices, The Art Room and The National Portrait Gallery.  Waity Katie became Lazy Katie, with critics pointing out Kate has always been work-shy.  The term work-shy amused me, I imagined her growing very bashful and timidly blushing around anything involving effort.

It wasn’t a fantastic start for Kate.  The Queen was vocal about her displeasure with the display of Kate’s wedding dress that Kate reportedly had supervised, declaring it “creepy”.  During a viewing of her dress, Kate who has a degree in Art History infamously asked if the antique Fabergé eggs were still being made.

In November of 2011, Prince William and Kate granted an interview for UNICEF.  The Prince was articulate, Kate stumbled over words she parroted back, and news anchors across the world snickered at the blinking and babbling of a seemingly dim-witted Duchess.

We were assured she was adjusting.  The Press focused on her beauty, because if we stared at her gorgeous locks long enough, it would be like one of those stereogram pictures, we’d see the image of a bright exciting future for the monarchy.  Or a hamburger, it kinda depended on the lighting.

Three years after the wedding and Kate is still struggling with a job for which she campaigned for over a decade.  Stalked, actually.  If this had been any other job, she would have been fired long ago for incompetence and a deplorable attendance record.

Laughably, the press is claiming that Cressida Bonas has decided not to marry Prince Harry because she and Kate had a heart-to-heart and Kate was very upfront with her about how busy she always is which made Cressida balk at the idea of always being swamped with royal duties.  Of course, to Kate, who has never actually had a real job, thirty-five or so engagements a year might seem like an overwhelming amount of work.  It’s so exhausting trying to pretend to care about things, she has to smile AND wave at most of these events, but assuming this leak wasn’t calculated PR to boost Kate’s work-shy image, it really makes me worry about Cressida if she can’t hack Lazy Katie levels of leisure.

I want Prince Harry to be happy, I want everyone to be happy, it’s one of my strange afflictions, but I’m starting to think maybe Cressida isn’t the one for him.  Any woman who needs convincing to be with Prince Harry and be “willing to take the job” doesn’t deserve him.  Yes, marrying into that family does require a lot of sacrifice, but if you truly love someone, you willingly face those challenges to the best of your abilities because you love that person.  All of us come with challenges.  Love is like Ikea furniture, it takes a huge amount of effort to track down, when you finally find what you want and manage to get it home, you discover it didn’t come with instructions and half the hardware is missing.  It’s maddening at times, can require multiple trips, maybe there are meatballs along the way, but somehow you figure it out.

How hard can being a Duchess be?  Kate Middleton has been doing it for three years and she’s terrible at it, but apparently it comes with the ultimate job security.  Lazy Katie has done a phenomenal job of setting the bar so low that whomever fills the #2 Duchess slot can just slide in without a lot of looming expectation.

The Royal Wedding feels like an eternity ago.  Three years ago when I was trying to find a channel that wasn’t devoted to Royal Wedding coverage, I never imagined I would find myself writing about Kate Middleton.  Most of my reader base is now comprised of others who are frustrated by Lazy Katie’s disinterest in her duties and every now and then I’ll get a nice note from one of my readers encouraging me to continue covering the Duchess of Doolittle which always seems to come just when I need it.  My intention has always been to write these posts until Kate learns to use her powers for good but sometimes I wonder if that’s an unrealistic goal.  She’s been doing this for three years now and has settled so firmly into underperforming I wonder if she’ll ever actually try to do the job she spent a decade trying to get.  At what point do objections become rants?  Where exactly is the fine line between protesting the social obliviousness of a Doolittle Duchess and Morrissey manifesto?  Can someone please let me know when I reach it? I kinda feel like you have to have some kind of talent to successfully pull off a Morrissey and I keep meaning to pick some up, I just forget.

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