Tag Archives: Sandringham

Kate Middleton’s Birthday Weekend

On Saturday, Kate Middleton celebrated her 34th birthday.  According to Royal Correspondent, Emily Andrews, she spent her birthday pheasant hunting with Prince William and friends.

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Yeah, that’s kind of like when the guy you’re dating suggests taking you to a strip club for your birthday and buying you a lap dance because he thinks that would be so hot and so you dump him.  Except Kate actually went pheasant hunting.

On Sunday, the Middletons accompanied Kate on the walk to St. Mary Magdalene Church with Prince William, two of Princess Charlotte’s godparents, James Meade and Sophie Carter, Prince Philip, the Queen’s cousin, The Honourable Mary Morrison, and Penelope Eastwood, joining Her Majesty for Church Services.  Well, isn’t that special?!

Kate wore the same Michael Kors suit she wore to church services on December 27th almost identically styled.

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Normally, you would see this sort of suit with tissues tucked up the sleeve  and accessorized with compression stockings and reading glasses dangling from an eyeglass chain, sort of the unofficial uniform of celibacy.  Kate looked liked she was in dire need of being ravaged by something other than time.

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The photos in the Daily Mail are pretty gruesome, so are most of the comments.

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The brutalness of remarks about Kate’s rapidly aging appearance was exceeded only by criticism over the increasing presence of the social-climbing Middletons basking in a status that is not afforded to in-laws.

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Back from their St. Barts getaway, James wore his somewhat tamed furry face monster and Pippa a fur hat.

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Likely, Pippa’s fur hat was borrowed from Kate since Pippa’s skinned animal corpse cranium cap resembles a microphone windshield.

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Pippa’s hat on Sunday bore a striking resemblance to one Kate has worn several times.

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Carole decided to wear her fur around her neck.  I’m not sure what is more disturbing, the Middleton’s fondness for bloodsport and fur, or Carole being so visibly excited about Walking with the Windsors that the world now knows what the Middleton matriarch’s orgasm face looks like.

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Kate did follow royal protocol on Sunday by curtseying to the Queen.  At least, the Daily Mail identified whatever this was as such.

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When Kate’s heel got stuck on St. Patrick’s Day 2013 in a grate, she executed a better curtsey, even if accidentally.  Then again, her head was bowed in reverence because it was her shoe after all.  Perhaps Her Majesty would get a little more respect from the duchess if she came in suede.KateStPatrick'sDay2013

In addition to Sunday’s curious curtsey expression, I still can’t figure out if a chunk of Kate’s hair fell out somewhere along the way or if it’s just the way the light is hitting it giving the appearance of a bald spot.

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After church services, Kate’s family departed before a brief memorial ceremony commemorating the 100th Anniversary of the tragic Gallipoli campaign during which several soldiers who had worked at Sandringham died.  According to the Daily Mail, Kate’s family, “walked straight back to Sandringham House after church with other members of the Royal party.”

For the Middletons,the Royal party never seems to end.  Perhaps maintaining a sense of entitlement keeps the royal hang-over away.

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That First Kate Pregnancy Rumor

According to reports, Prince George will be getting a new brother or sister, the spare to his heir.  Already rumors are swirling with this pregnancy, but if the oldest of all the Kate pregnancy rumors are to believed, had Kate not allegedly aborted the first child she conceived in 2006, Prince George would actually be a spare and not a future king.

I’ve been hearing this rumor about Kate’s 2006 abortion for years.  Honestly, I don’t know for certain if it’s true or not, but what’s always struck me as interesting, unlike most bits of circulated gossip, elements of the story always remained consistent.

The story goes that Kate got knocked up by Will around the time of their September 2006 trip to Ibiza where Uncle Gary has his Maison de Bang Bang.  Yes, that trip, where Kate wore the infamous bikini in virginal white.

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According to lore, Kate came back with more than just tan lines from that trip.  When Kate finally peed on a stick a couple weeks after her first missed period, she was excited thinking about a quick royal wedding and baby booties but nervous about Prince William’s reaction which wound up being worse than she imagined.  She was crushed, he appeased her by telling her it just wasn’t the right time, someday…

Kate didn’t know what to do and consulted with her mother.  She traded in her usual tan coats for black.

Carole and Kate Middleton, November 10, 2006

Carole and Kate Middleton, November 10, 2006

Fearful she was starting to show (even though she really wasn’t), Kate started wearing slimming dark colors to fool paparazzi.  When she did wear a bright color, she would make sure to wear black pants and a black shirt underneath and would often try to conceal her stomach area with a large scarf.

Kate Middleton and Prince William, November 12, 2006

Kate Middleton and Prince William, November 12, 2006

Kate was supposed to start her new part time job at Jigsaw in November, but employees were hard pressed to pinpoint the exact day because she missed so much work.  Finally one of the staffers confirmed to the press Kate had been there for “two or three weeks”.  No one knew what her official start date was even supposed to have been.  The staff already secretly resented her.

Kate finally caved to Prince William’s pressure.  After all, they were going to get married and have babies eventually, she feared she was driving him away by forcing his hand.

Carole arranged for Kate to have an abortion over the holidays out of the country.  Prince William made sure Kate felt like an honored guest and his future wife at his graduation from military academy.  She was beaming in a red Gorgio Armani coat in a larger size than she normally wears, confident aborting hers and William’s child was the right decision for them.

Michael and Kate Middleton, December, 15, 2006

Michael and Kate Middleton, December, 15, 2006

It was the same coat she wore when she was six months pregnant in April 2013.

Duchess of Cambridge, 6 months pregnant in April 2013

Duchess of Cambridge, 6 months pregnant in April 2013

It’s believed Carole and Kate made a quick detour out of the country, most likely to Switzerland, for Kate’s abortion before beginning their family holiday at Jordanstone House in Alyth over New Year’s.  Prince William was supposed to join them after Christmas with his family at Sandringham.  It was supposed to be healing time for Kate, both physically and emotionally.  Prince William never bothered to show, Kate was devastated.

January of 2007 was difficult for Kate.

Kate Middleton, January 7, 2010

Kate Middleton, January 7, 2007

She wondered if she made the right choice, the abortion had a deeper psychological impact than she thought it would.  The strain on her face was visible.

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Kate Middleton, January 10, 2007

Kate wanted to know where she stood with Prince William who was becoming more and more distant.  A few months later they broke up.

When the break-up hit the paper, Kate snapped.  Paparazzi took pictures of her driving around to every local newsstand to buy up every copy, carrying boxes of newspapers to her car.

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I’m still not sure what her reasoning was for this.  Maybe she thought if no one could read it then it wasn’t true?  Although maybe she just wasn’t thinking logically.

For eight years that rumor of Kate’s abortion and the impact it had on their relationship has been circulating.  I support a woman’s right to choose, and while I wish women would choose life, a woman’s reproductive decisions are her own.  But to me Kate’s rumored 2006 abortion highlights just how flawed a hereditary monarchy is.  This fetus with which Kate is reportedly pregnant is already being called a spare, his or her entire life will be dictated by that label, when in fact Prince George might very well have been the spare with the first conceived heir disposed of as medical waste.

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