Tag Archives: The Sun

Kate Middleton Hosts SportsAid Banquet

On Thursday evening, Kate Middleton hosted a SportsAid banquet in the King’s Gallery at Kensington Palace as part of the charity’s 40th anniversary celebrations.

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Since becoming patron of SportsAid in 2013, the banquet was Kate’s sixth event for the charity which helps support young British athletes.

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Kate went with electric blue for the event.  It’s a smurfy color…

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It just feels Kate’s overdone it in an unsmurfy way.  And almost always with black court shoes and a black clutch.

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The Roland Mouret gown which retails for just under $3,000  (£2,095) also comes in midnight navy which I think would have been a more sophisticated color option.  Not a fan of the exposed zipper, though.

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The royal blue version feels too casual, although the hue can’t shoulder the blame for the dress’ lackluster styling and Kate’s posture, evoking one of Kate’s 2012 London Olympics looks.

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Kate’s $42,750 (£30,000) Diamond Tricolour Cartier Earrings were barely visible beneath her hair which was likely hungry without its usual follicular feast of extensions and wiglets.

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But they did make sporadic appearances, as can be seen in this screen grab from the Daily Mail.

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The earrings seem to be part of the same design collection as the Cartier Trinity necklace  which Kate debuted in 2012 at London’s National Portrait Gallery at an exhibit of athlete portraits.

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Kate’s  Roland Mouret dress was also accessorized with a singular hair strand.  Hopefully it wasn’t a jumper from Prince William’s head, he has so few to spare.

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Kate stepped up the duchessing at Thursday’s SportsAid banquet and actually delivered a speech.

Emily Andrews of The Sun noted it was Kate’s best to date and while I think she was right, the bar is still very low.

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After five years, Kate should be able to deliver far better than she did.  The speech in its entirety can be watched on YouTube.

Kate was obviously nervous, as evidenced by the deep breaths she took to calm herself.

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Kate’s accent affectation continued to be an issue, in fact for a few words her Received Pronunciation started to drift a bit in an American direction (she didn’t make it all the way, dashing my hopes of an international accent patchwork speech). Kate’s attention was mostly fixed down on her speech instead of out on her audience, her delivery was flat with very little inflection, her phrasing was still unnatural and she seemed palpably uncomfortable.  I have pasted below a transcript of the speech from an Express article by Richard Palmer and did a screen-grab of Kate’s face as she was articulating specific words which I have bolded with the corresponding photos below.

Some of you may know that I love sport.  

"love"

“love”

I love cheering on teams and athletes that I am passionate about.  

"passionate"

“passionate”

I love the physical challenge sport presents and the mental strength it gives us all.  And I love the way it so often brings people together to work as part of a team.  

I suspect many of you in this room may feel the same. The brilliance of SportsAid is in really understanding just how much athletic competition gives to our country as a whole.  By investing in young sporting talent, they ensure that there is a strong pipeline of inspirational heroes.

"inspirational"

“inspirational”

"heroes"

“heroes”

These athletes then serve as motivators to everyone in the UK to get involved, get active, and embrace the power of sport to make us happier and healthier.

"happier"

“happier”

"healthier"

“healthier”

With little over 50 days to go until the Games begin in Rio; the next Olympiad is almost here.  As we did in London in 2012, we will see a new generation of sporting stars emerge into the spotlight.

We cannot wait to meet the next SportsAid champions

"champions"

“champions”

…the next Chris Hoys and Katherine Graingers who will remind us all of the magic and the power of sport.

"magic"

“magic”

"power"

“power”

"sport"

“sport”

So thank you all for supporting the incredible work of SportsAid.  I am immensely proud to be their patron and I can’t wait to cheer on our team competing in Rio.

"proud"

“proud”

I do hope you enjoy tonight’s very special occasion.

"enjoy"

“enjoy”

"very"

“very”

"special"

“special”

"occasion"

“occasion”

Thank you.

"Thank"

“Thank”

"you"

“you”

Most of us can empathize with the nervousness that comes with public speaking.  But many professions and passions require frequent speech giving and Kate chose a profession that requires more speeches than most.  After five years with The Firm, Kate still lacks the skill set for a job she spent almost a decade pursuing.

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Kate’s Haunted Hair

Not only is a leprechaun living in Kate Middleton’s knee, she now has a hair ghost.

While watching clips of the Taj Mahal visit, I noticed a woman’s face appear several times on the side of Kate’s head.

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Judging by the state of Kate’s doll hair, this is no polite paranormal passenger, this is one pissed-off poltergeist occupying her tresses.

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While Kate’s hair being haunted sounds ridiculous, it does explain why Amanda Cook Tucker doesn’t do a better job blending Kate’s wiglet, she doesn’t want to linger too long out of fear she’ll get sucked into a follicular alternate dimension.

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Of course, there’s a perfectly rational explanation for Kate’s hair ghost face, it’s called matrixing or pareidolia.   The human mind, forever in search of order, seeks to identify patterns it recognizes from shapes.  It’s the psychological phenomena behind people seeing ghostly faces in old mirrors that have some of the backing chipped off or Kate Middleton on their jelly beans.

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Nothing about Kate is rational, though, so I’m going with hair ghost.

Meanwhile, the lackluster royal bore tour continues to haunt the Cambridges.  The Sun published a scorcher of a piece by Emily Andrews.  It was a further behind-the-scenes glance into the tour in the unflattering light of candor.  Andrews’ article describes a tour lacking in warmth and sincerity that was so focused on the photo ops that, “As Kate and William were just about to leave their hotel in Bhutan to have dinner with the country’s king and queen, guests were told to move out of the way as it would “ruin the choreography” of their departure.”  Andrews also indicated there’s a reason so few of Kate’s comments made it into the news, “The Palace would rather you did not know.”  According to the article:

Indeed, some of Kate’s comments were banal at best and clumsy at worst. Meeting a chef who had been badly injured in the Mumbai 2008 terror atrocities, she murmured: “It must have been a surreal day.”

And when speaking to charity workers helping India’s street kids, who are mutilated to make money begging, she managed to utter: “Gosh, so interesting.”

They say you can’t fix stupid, but you can certainly try to hide it for as long as possible.

Normally William and Kate disappear after tours but events are already showing up in their calendar. Kate went missing for more than a month after the last one.

Today Prince William, along with Harry, will be touring the Star Wars set.  On Thursday, they will likely be part of the Queen’s 90th birthday celebration and on Friday, William and Kate will be hosting a private dinner for the Obamas at Kensington Palace.

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A Royal Work-Off

“I care desperately about what I do.  Do I know what product I’m selling?  No.  Do I know what I’m doing today?  No.  But I’m here, and I’m gonna give it my best shot.”
-Hansel, Zoolander

What do you do when you’re a royally idle couple under fire for only undertaking three paltry official engagements apiece all year while soaking up all the royal perks?

You have a work-off.

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Both Prince William and Kate Middleton left Anmer’s Fortress of Solitude to prove to their critics they care about more than being really, really, ridiculously lazy.

Emily Andrews of The Sun added more fuel to the fire on Wednesday by revealing that not only did William take December off of air ambulance pilot duties, he’s only worked twelve shifts to date this year.  William decided to fight fire with fuel by showing up at EAAA on Wednesday and doing the regular bloke task of refueling the helicopter.  Photos by Geoff  Robinson in the Express reveal William struggling with his hose.  Is the future king secretly not an ambi-turner?

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William was probably a little overly ambitious in trying to look like he was just like everyone else.  Perhaps we should have given him the heads-up that even us regular folk don’t fill up our own helicopters, we let the heli fuel steward do it.   But it made for some memorable photographic moments.  You could practically hear Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go as William tugged on his hose.

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With William playing helicopter pilot, Kate went solo in Edinburgh.  She visited St. Catherine’s Primary School which participates in the Place2Be program and took part in an assembly sing-a-long of Welcome Everybody.

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From there, Kate went to look at the art created at Wester Hailes Education Centre’s The Art Room.  Then Kate traded in her court shoes for Asics, slipped into a Nike top and Monreal London Tuxedo track pants and participated in a tennis workshop conducted by the mother of her tennis crush, Andy Murray.  Or as Kate, seen here in a screen grab from stuff.co.nz  probably calls him, Plan B.

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Despite spending  over $300 on pricy track pants (£220), somewhere Betty White was wearing a tracksuit better.

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Kate was visibly excited about meeting Judy Murray.  The tennis pro’s Mum revealed to The Telegraph, “She was talking about at what age can a child hold a racquet. It’s about strength.  I was saying to her with children of George’s age you start with a balloon and the hand. It is about doing he right thing at the right time.  From a parents’ perspective she was very interested in how she could help her kids to develop the skills that you need to do sports because she enjoys sports so much.”  It’s  probably not a bad idea for Prince George and Princess Charlotte to explore other possible vocations since it seems unlikely the British Monarchy will survive their parents.

So who won this royal work-off?

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Certainly not the taxpayer.   And definitely not William.

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As a general rule, never go up against a woman nicknamed Commando Kate in an underwear challenge, she’ll pants you every time.

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The Parable of the Perturbed Press

“To whomever much is given, of him will much be required; and to whom much was entrusted, of him more will be asked.” – Luke 12:48

After years of reaping royal benefits, this week the media reminded the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge of their enormous growing bar tab of expectation.

On February 17th, Kate Middleton did her guest stint with the Huffington Post UK. The photos Tweeted by @KensingtonRoyal of the “newsroom” confirmed to me that they were using stuffed animals instead of real dogs and ponies for the Kate is Keen Show.

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While the event was geared towards bringing awareness to children’s mental health issues, the inherent flaw in selecting one outlet is representative of the greater issue that the Cambridges mistakenly believe they don’t need the media.  Kate’s second event of the year lacked the traditional media fanfare even though she wore a brand new outfit and everything.  Above all else, the press is a business so they naturally wouldn’t want to waste a lot of column space plugging their competition.

Many wondered if there would be a complete media black-out.

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Daily Mail article on Kate being papped shopping in pricy designer clothing referenced the Huffington Post event as Kate guest-editing “a website”.   While celebrity guest editing isn’t new which Jezebel’s “Kate Middleton Joins the Long, Goofy, Controversial Line of Celebrity Guest Editors” explores, the very fact that Kate is being classified as a celebrity reveals just how royally Kate is missing the mark.  Taxpayers don’t fund celebrities’ lives and more is expected of royals than being famous for being famous.  As representatives of the UK, royals are supposed to remain politically neutral and avoid the appearance of impropriety by refusing freebies  by companies seeking royal product placement…a  future Queen Consort aligning herself with one media outlet is tantamount to brand endorsement.

Prince William’s first scheduled engagement of the year on the 16th at the Foreign Office’s Diplomatic Academy seemed to even more blatantly break with the royal neutrality policy when a speech he delivered was widely interpreted as thinly veiled support of remaining within the European Union.  As the Daily Mail noted, “he all but named the EU as he referenced international organisations such as the United Nations, Nato and ‘elsewhere’ as institutions that help Britain affirm its ‘commitment to working in partnership with others’. ”  The Palace denied any political agenda and pointed out that never once in the speech did Prince William specifically mention the European Union.  Sure, and when I refer to the Petulant Prince, I really am talking about any spoiled arrogant balding 33-year-old British heir to the throne with a pathologically lazy wife, two kids and a Cocker Spaniel named Lupo.

On February 17th, The Sun fired a shot at William the Reluctant heard round the world’s media with “Throne Idle: Prince on 1st job of the year… and it’s a disaster”.  While many of the points it makes have been discussed here and on other sites like Kate Middleton Review, Kate Middleton: Duchess or Diva, Celebitchy, and Sarah Whalen’s posts on Bayou Buzz, it’s refreshing to see the UK mainstream media dispense with the royal candy coating for a change and exercise some journalistic candor.

The Sun’s journalistic bitch-slap was such a departure from the white glove treatment Prince William normally receives, The Guardian dedicated an article to the article in “The Sun gives both barrels to Prince William”.

On February 18th, Richard Palmer Tweeted that for the RAF Disbandment Parade attended by Prince William and Kate, media access was limited under the guise of space restrictions.

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Perhaps the Cambridges were trying to keep out members of the media who might question the “value for the money” of Prince William and Kate who do so few official engagements to begin with taking a helicopter ride from London to Anglesey, Wales to attend the disbandment parade of the now-privatized branch of the Royal Air Force William left in 2013 without meeting his training commitment.

The Daily Mail continued the media pummeling with two new articles questioning the Petulant Prince’s dedication to his royal role with “William the Unwilling: A no-show at the Baftas, only two engagements all year and now even Royal eyebrows are being raised at a Prince who’s gone missing in action” as well as “Patell’s People: Work-shy William has to make a royal choice”.

The quote “to whom much is given, much is expected” comes from The Parable of the Faithful Servant, an eschatological warning in the Gospel of Luke to be prepared for the day of reckoning.  How long the monarchy will last remains to be seen, but with the press’ trumpeted judgment of William the Reluctant and the Duchess of Doolittle reaping the royal perks without commensurate return, the British Royal Family might want to figure out the whole Cambridge situation before the last three trumpets ring out.  The polo  ponies of petulant princes are no match against the apocalyptic horses of a republic.

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